Best Retorts, Comebacks, or Witty Repartee?

Question

I'm compiling a database of retorts and repartee's for a new book. I'd love to hear your best retorts. Personal examples would be ideal, with a bit of context to better understand the impact and/or humor of your response. Cheers.

Answer 1

Is that your face or are you exposing yourself!

Anyone in your immediate family uglier than you?

Answer 2

When asked for his ticket by the airline attendant, the male passenger flashed her. She replied "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub!"