Best friend is engaged to boyfriend of 3 and 1/2 weeks. Should I try to talk her out of it?

Question

Shes 22. Hes 21. Hes being deployed to iraq at the beginning of november. They want to get married in the middle of september. She met him 3 and 1/2 weeks ago and they started dating that same day. When they marry they will have known each other only for a month and a half. Should I try to talk her out of it and risk her thinking I dont support her or should I just hope for the best? He will be deployed for 2 years. She lives half way across the country but we're still best friends and talk every day. I will be flying to her wedding in two weeks,but, I dont think this is very smart of her. Hes a nice guy but I've seen too many marriages ruined because they marry too soon, even a year or 2 is too soon. What do you think?

Answer 1

I think you should stay out of it. She is 22 and entitled to make her own mistakes. You can't say for sure that it would be a mistake any way. You'll only alienate her if you try to butt in. By the way, I married my husband after knowing him only three months and we've been happily married 33 years

Answer 2

i think that you should tell her your opinion but don't try to talk her out of it. that will only ruin your relationship with her.  Try to be suportive and be there for her... if its not ment to be then eventually she will see that... let her figure it out on her own

Answer 3

I think she is making a really foolish decision.  He may be the man for her, but she hasn't known him long enough to know that.  They might get lucky and actually be good for each other, but a rush into marriage usually indicates that the couple isn't secure with themselves.  Regardless, I think you're going to have to let her make this mistake herself.

Answer 4

Tough situation with this guy being deployed for 2 years, but U do think you should say something.  3 1/2 weeks is way to early to tell whether or not you really want to marry this person.  If he was not being deployed in November I highly doubt they would be engaged.  Unfortunately, they are rushing into this because he is leaving.  Talking to her about this should not be viewed as not being supportive. You are really just looking out for her and want to make sure she doesn't make a rushed decision.

Answer 5

I think you should let them do their own decisions...if you try to get into their things you'll look bad

Answer 6

I married my husband after 3 weeks...I wish I had a friend that stood up to me and tried to talk me out of it

Answer 7

Nothing you do or say will stop the wedding.

If you are really, deep in your heart, that opposed to it (and you probably should be), you could let her know you won't be a part of it - and stay home.  You could go, bite your tongue, and be there for her when the fit hits the shan.