Best friend is turning thirteen!?

Question

I want a hilarious poem or quote so I can put it on a card & give her a good birthday laugh.

:]

please give me some poems or quotes!

thanks!

Answer 1

Here are a few she might enjoy:

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Things are more like they are now than they have ever been before.

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused.

You can either agree with me, or be wrong.

Answer 2

Advice for Geraldine on her Miscellaneous Birthday - Bob Dylan

Stay in line. Stay in step. People

are afraid of someone who is not

in step with them. It makes them

look foolish t' themselves for

being in step. It might even

cross their minds that they themselves

are in the wrong step. Do not run,

nor cross the red line. If you go

too far out in any direction, they

will lose sight of you. They'll feel

threatened, thinking that they are

not a part of something that they

saw go past them, they'll feel

something's going on up there that

they don't know about. Revenge

will set in. They will start thinking

of how t' get rid of you. Act

mannerly towards them. If you don't,

they will take it personal. As you

come directly in contact face t' face

do not make it a secret of how

much you need them. If they sense

that you have no need for them,

the first thing they will do is

try t' make you need them. If

this doesn't work, they will tell

you of how much they don't need

you. If you do not show any sadness

at a remark such as this, they

will immediately tell other people

of how much they don't need you.

Your name will begin t' come up

in circles where people gather

to tell about all the people they

don't need. You will begin t' get

famous this way. This, though, will

only get the people who you don't need

in the first place

all the more madder.

You will become

a whole topic of conversation.

Needless t' say, these people

who don't need you will start

hating themselves for needing t' talk

about you. Then you yourself will

start hating yourself for causing so

much hate. As you can see, it will

all end in one great gunburst.

Never trust a cop in a raincoat.

When asked t' define yourself exactly,

say you are an exact mathematician.

Do not say or do anything that

he who standing in front of you

watching cannot understand, he will

feel you know something he

doesn't. He will react with blinding

speed and write your name down.

Talk on his terms. If his terms

are old-fashioned an' you've

passed that stage all the more easier

t' get back there. Say what he

can understand clearly. Say it simple

t' keep your tongue out of your

cheek. After he hears you, he can

label you good or bad. Anyone will

do. T' some people, there is only

good an' bad. In any case, it will

make him feel somewhat important.

It is better t' stay away from

these people. Be careful of

enthusiasm...it is all temporary

an' don't let it sway you. When asked

if you go t' church, always answer

yes, never look at your shoes. When

asked you you think of Gene Autry

singing of hard rains gonna fall say

that nobody can sing it as good as

Peter, Paul and Mary. At the mention

of the President's name, eat a pint of

yogurt an' go t' sleep early... when

asked if you're a Communist, sing

America the Beautiful in an

Italian accent. Beat up nearest

street cleaner. If by any

chance you're caught naked in a

parked car, quick turn the radio on

full blast an' pretend

that you're driving. Never leave

the house without a jar of peanut

butter. Do not wear

matched socks. When asked to do 100

pushups, always smoke a pound

of deodorant beforehand.

When asked if you're a capitalist, rip

open your shirt, sing "Buddy Can

You Spare a Dime" with your

right foot forward an' proceed t'

chew up a dollar bill.

Do not sign any dotted line. Do not

fall in trap of criticizing people

who do nothing else but criticize.

Do not create anything. It will be

misinterpreted. It will not change.

It will follow you the

rest of your life. When asked what you

do for a living, say you laugh for

a living. Be suspicious of people

who say that if you are not nice

t' them, they will commit suicide.

When asked if you care about

the world's problems, look deeply

into the eyes of he that asks

you, he will not ask you again. When

asked if you've spent time in jail,

announce proudly that some of your

best friends've asked you that.

Beware of bathroom walls that've not

been written on. When told t' look at

yourself...never look. When asked

t' give your real name...never give it.