Best joke i've ever heard?

Question

Okay, so there are three men stranded on a desert island who have been captured by cannibals.

The cannibals give the men two tasks - if they succeed they will not get eaten.

The first is to go into the forest and collect ten pieces of fruit.

The first man goes and comes back with ten apples.

The cannibals tell him that the second task is to stuff them up his bum without changing his expression.

The man puts one up, but after the second one screams out in pain.

The cannibals eat him.

The second man comes back with ten berries.

He stuffs eight up then screams out laughing.

The cannibals eat him.

The first and second meet in heaven.

The first man says "Why did you laugh? You could have survived!"

The second man says "I couldn't help it! I saw the third man coming back with pineapples!"

Well it made me laugh! :)

Answer 1

lol

Answer 2

What's brown and sticky?

A brown stick

Answer 3

Haha, that was great! Now I have some for you:

A little girl and her mother were out and about.

Out of the blue, the girl asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?"

The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older."

The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?"

Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this, too, as you grow up."

The girl, still wanting to know about her mother, then fired off another question, "Mommy, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"

The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now."

The little girl, frustrated, sulked until she was dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consulted with her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation.

The girlfriend said, "All you have to do is sneak a look at your mother's driver's license. It's just a like a report card from school. It tells you everything."

Later, the little girl and her mother were out and about again.

The little girl started off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are. I know how old you are. You're 32 years old."

The mother was very shocked. She asked, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?"

The little girl shrugged and said, "I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds."

"Where did you learn that?"

The little girl said, "I just know. And I know why you and Daddy got a divorce. You got an 'F' in s*x."

An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Your Loving Husband.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

Answer 4

It made me laugh too and they would have probably kill me cause i would have laughed at the man with the pineapple too.

Answer 5

hahaha have a star*

Answer 6

hey, thats my joke! lol

but i've told it to many times for it to be funny now, soz!

Answer 7

lololololololololololololollooloolololol...