Best therapy for abused adoptees?

Question

I am in the process of shopping for therapists to treat the amorphous effects of adoption, as well as adoptive parent verbal, physical and sexual abuse. It's hard to separate these factors, and I am diagnosed with several mental conditions to boot, making it even harder. My question is for people who are in the mental health field or have used its extensive services for these issues. If you're looking for more detailed facts, send me an email.

Answer 1

I went through a Women's Ministry, as a student and also as a leader after graduating from the program. I knew alot of women there that had been in horrible situations, one of the women had been in 29 foster homes and probably 20 of those homes, she was sexually abused in. She ended up using heroin her whole life and becoming a prostitute after leaving her own three kids. This program was 12 months long and constisted of alot of emotional healing through forgiveness. This woman and I were very close, and her stories just absolutely broke my heart. She is about 45 now, and went through the program twice (she left the first time but quickly ended up back there). I saw her grow up basically. The abuse had paralysed her emotionally to the point that her emotions did not match her age. The freedom she gained when she could put all of the abusers in her past and let go of the pain they had caused her was phenomenal. If you can find a place like that, I would highly suggest it. It changed her life forever, as well as mine.

Answer 2

LOVE!!!!

Answer 3

Hi Robert,

I've worked in the mental health field for about 7 years, and I've gotten plenty of mental health care myself.  I honestly don't know what services are best specifically for adoption (so I'll be paying close attention to your question), but I do know what has helped me.  Most recently, I had a life coach for a year, and she was tremendously helpful.  However, I don't think insurance covers life coaching, so if money is an issue, that may not be the best option.  

Prior to that, I had a counselor who used EMDR - I forget what this means, but it has something to do with Eye Movement.  The basic premise of EMDR, if I can summarize it properly, is that a lot of the emotions we have now are tied to past events.  For example, I had trouble sleeping last night because every time I got settled, I would wake with a start.  This goes back to very early childhood traumas, and my "fight or flight" mechanism is in overdrive right now because of some traumatic things I'm dealing with.  That part of my brain that recorded "body memory" from my first year or so of life, has woken up, and is telling me "something is wrong!  You must stay alert!"  I'm not sure if that makes sense, but at any rate, our bodies store these memories, and then react to new stimuli with old patterns, based on how we survived old traumas.  What EMDR does, is it finds the "place" where those memories are stored, and sort of hits a reset button.  That way, when new stimuli reminds us of past events, we will not have the violent, emotional, or other uncontrollable reaction just because that's what our body says we need to do.  We will respond as though we've never been through something like this before.

This does not get rid of our BRAIN memory, just the BODY memory.  So, we can carry the lessons we learned from earlier traumas, and make educated decisions about what to do now.  

I hope this helps.  I don't know how common EMDR is, but I would say it's worth a shot.  It's different than many other therapies because you've got a goal in mind.  This can be both good and bad.  I liked the fact that I wasn't going to be laying on a couch for years discussing the same stuff over and over and not really getting anywhere...but for some areas of my life, laying on a couch recounting the same stuff over and over is just the thing I need.  It's one of many options.

I hope you find what you need!

Answer 4

I was going to suggest EMDR also

Sending you good vibes and hugs

I've found one of the best therapies is speaking with other adoptees who understand and will never invalidate your feelings :) but I think you are very sensible to seek out a professional who, hopefully, will be able to offer help with the additional sh@~t you've had to endure