Best way to avoid?

Question

What is the best way to avoid going to your girl friend's friends wedding?

So that I can avoid the lecture in the car coming back from the wedding.

Answer 1

Wow...that's pretty harsh.  Why not just be truthful to your girlfriend that you don't want to go?  Or, you could just go, enjoy yourself and not be so cynical.  You don't go to divorce proceedings unless you are a witness in their divorce trial.

Answer 2

What's the point in dating if you have that attitude about marriage?

Answer 3

Just tell her you haven't the 'nads. Period.

Answer 4

What lecture are you avoiding?

Have you been with this young lady for a particular period of time with not-so-honorable intentions?

I suggest you stop using young women.

Answer 5

Be honest and say you don't want to go. Unless your chicken and can't... in that case you could say you don't feel well??? I dunno, or make some other engagement on that same night and say you forgot. But its really not that big of a deal is it? You should just be honest, maybe bargainwith her and tell her you'll go to the wedding but not the reception or maybe only stay for the dinner portion of the reception.

Honesty is always the best way to keep a healthy relationship tho. If you get caught lying, you'll destroy trust with your girlfriend. And that could suck!

Answer 6

3 out of 4? The stats from a San Francisco women's department are going to be slightly biased, don't you think? The rate has actually been decreasing and is under 50%. Before you slam me on my sources, I am educated, with a Ph.D., and, I know how to do research.

To answer your question, politely decline and just tell her sorry, you have other plans. An invitation is exactly that: an invitation. It doesn't mean you have to accept. Besides, the real issue is that you don't want to marry her. Own up to it and let her move on to find someone who is a match.

Good luck.

Answer 7

maybe u can't avoid it

nor the lecture

have fun!

Answer 8

3 out of 4?  You're reading the wrong statistics.  Approximately 50% end in divorce.  It's slightly less than 50% for first-time marriages, and it's quite a bit higher than 50% for second, third, or subsequent marriages.

Did you know these friends?  Did you and your girlfriend hang out with them?  Imagine for a minute that you and your girlfriend aren't dating.  Is your past history with these girlfriends close enough so that you would be invited anyway?  If so, then you should go because these are also YOUR friends.

On the other hand, if your contact with them has been limited and you only know them because of your girlfriend, you aren't obligated to go at all.  I had several girlfriends get married in the 2 years that my husband and I dated, and I went to their weddings without him.  You can tell your girlfriend for me that forcing you to go to a wedding just so she can have a man hanging on her arm, is a pretty p**s-poor way to treat the bride.  No one is there to see whether or not any of the other girls have boyfriends!

As for the lecture.  How old are you?  How old is your girlfriend?  How long have you been dating?  Are you having s*x, and if you are, do you use a condom 100% of the time?

If you've been dating this girl for a couple of years, it's normal that she should expect that your relationship is going to progress toward marriage.  She's invested a LOT of time in you, believing you wanted a future with her as well.  And if you're having s*x, you're acting like you're married already, so why would you expect her to want anything less?  If you aren't using a condom 100% of the time, then you are willingly taking the risk that you're going to create a baby together.  Then you'll be tied together for the rest of your lives, whether you have that piece of paper or not.  Most women consider it reasonable to expect that a man who will risk getting you pregnant is a man who loves you enough to marry you.  

Now, most of the world knows that last statement isn't true.  So here's the deal:  If you don't want to marry this girl, and you know for a fact that you will NEVER change your mind, you're being grossly unfair to keep her dangling.  You need to end the relationship so she can move on to someone who shares her dream of the white picket fence and the 2.1 kids.  It doesn't matter how many times you say the words, "I don't want to marry you, now or ever" - the fact that you stay in the relationship and continue to have s*x with her tells her that those words are a lie.  Your words and your actions have to say the same thing.  If you don't want to marry her, get out of the relationship.

You also need to remember that a woman who tells you she's on the pill can flush them down the sink; a woman who says she has an IUD can have it removed at any time.  Unless you watch your girlfriend insert a diaphragm/sponge/gel/film/foam, etc, you really don't know if she's using birth control at all.  So if you don't want kids with her in the next 9 months, you need to wrap it up.  You already know the girl wants to get married.  Desperate girls still try to trap men by getting pregnant.

Do you see where this is all leading?  It's all about communication and honesty.  You're dating a girl who wants to get married.  If you don't, then staying with her is dishonest.  

If you DO, then forget the statistics and give your marriage 150% of yourself.  Remember that slightly more than 50% of all first-time marriages SUCCEED.

Answer 9

Well, obviously you don't want to marry your girlfriend. Otherwise, you wouldn't mind talking to her about getting married. That having been said, why are you with her? To waste her time and yours? Perhaps you should lighten up a little and not focus on the stats so much. I honestly think the reason the stats are so high on divorce rates is because people believe them as muc has you do. If you truly loved your girlfriend, you would go to the wedding and you would enjoy yourself instead of wondering how many months the new couple will last.

Answer 10

3 out of 4? Cut me a break--it's never cracked 50% and has been falling for years.

You don't want to go, don't, but don't make up some stupid fake statistic to justify your own personal ambivalence.

Answer 11

Well if you love your GF then  you really should be there with her. If theres anything worse than going to a wedding single its going by yourself when you do actually have a partner.

Answer 12

When you have a child someday, are you going to ask the mother of your unborn child why you should be there for the birth considering some children are stillborn? Just because things sometimes end badly doesn't mean you shouldn't be there during the good times and at least try to hope for the best. Just go. And what lecture is she going to give you? That she wants to get married? If you don't want to marry her ever, then don't date her. Then you wouldn't have to go to the wedding anyway. If you don't want to marry her soon, then tell her that, and tell her that any nagging or pressuring is just going to make it harder for you to want marriage. Simple as that.

This is YA!. People can answer how they want to. Don't tell people to limit it to 100 words or less. You asked for opinions. People can give them, with or without a word maximum.

You asked this is the WEDDINGS section. Its a well known fact that women are more interested in weddings than men. Try another section if you want more men to answer, but, seriously, you deserve the lecture, from us or from your girlfriend. Get some men to tell you that too if you want though.

*** You're not married, so how would you know? I'm married, and I know for a fact that marriage is different. If you want to date, thats just fine. But if people want to get married, thats fine too. People have the right to make their own choices. But you for d**n sure better make your choice clear to your poor girlfriend. If she is dreaming of getting married, let her loose so she can actually attain her dream. Don't lead her on. You wanna date, go ahead. Let me know how that works out for you when you're 70, and you've got no wife to take care of your dying ***, and no 70 year old woman wants to deal with a man like you anymore. Have fun! Just 'dating' and leading a woman on and letting her waste her time and her life on you are two totally different things. If you're so worried about a divorce, get a freaking pre-nup. ***