Better Resources For Women (and girls) Faced With an Unplanned Pregnancy?

Question

Considering so many feel that if a women does not have the financial means to raise a child, she should relinquish, I wonder how people felt about offering better services to women who want to parent but feel incapable of it due to temporary circumstances. And by services and resources, I am also speaking of COMPLETE information regarding adoption/abortion/parenting, etc. We want these women to make an informed decision, not make one based off what some biased social worker might have told them (public assistance social workers are as bad as adoption agency social workers). Do any of you think there will be a way to ensure a woman has all her facts and contacts in order to make a decision? If she decides to raise the child, shouldn't there be better resources than what is available.

Answer 1

If women were highly regarded in society all of this would be a non-issue.

Where are the fathers? It takes two to tango, yet the women get all the blame.

(The public library and an un-biased librarian might also be a great resource.)

Answer 2

Crisis pregnancy centers are run by volunteers and generally supported by the local community concerned about young mothers and their children. Most of the staff at a Crisis Pregnancy Center are women who have been pregnant when it wasn't a cause for celebration. I agree, Crisis Pregnancy Centers are bias. they care deeply about the the women,men,children and families affected by an un-excepted, unplanned or undesired pregnancy. And they do cater to any woman in need married, unmarried, older or younger. They know first hand the hardships of the decision making process. They also know the resources available to help a mother succeed. Many many have clothing, food and other needs available to mothers - free of charge.

Your only other option for information is unfortunately women's centers - that push abortion because it's their business...they are only it in for the money. They get paid to get you under the knife, and "unpregnant". I have never heard of a women's abortion clinic having a maternity / baby clothing drive to assist the women in the community. Nor have I ever received information from a women's center on how to apply for government assistance - call your local Crisis Pregnancy Center, I know they have that information.

Answer 3

Sorry but before I answer I have to laugh at Canada's wonderful *gag* welfare system. Ever raised a child on $612 a month? Sounds like a dream doesn't it. Bwahahahahaha! *coughcoughBScoughcough*

There should be better resources available. There should be more parenting education and respite care for single parents. Better accessible housing *looks around at c**p home*, more support for parents of disable children and better early childhood programs that are low cost.

That being said I do think we are better off here than our neighbors to the south, it still isn't enough. We have our child tax credit, the Harper pay out (also known as the universal child care benefit), GST rebates, day care subsidy, success by 6, Nobody's Perfect parenting resources and many other government funded programs. The problem is you need to be told about many of them and that is not always done.

Answer 4

Absolutely not - there are enough resources already.  Girls and women SHOULD abstain from s*x if they're not ready for a baby.  Anything else should be criminal - it's digustingly selfish and irresponsible.  There are plenty of other ways to have fun, s*x isn't a human requirement!

ETA - In case you can't tell, that's overy dramatized because you're making my point exactly.  In reality, I don't think anyone should be forced into the decision.  They should be told about the resources that DO exist (because there are already VERY many) but I don't think there should be extra on top of that.  It just makes it too easy for people to go around having babies to get an easier ride at life.  The point of welfare isn't to help people raise the baby on that check (as someone said above) but to help a person find a job!  Single mothers SHOULD be required to work.  That's one of the consequences of having a child all on your own...  you now have to provide for yourself and this child.  As for special needs children, there are even more resources for them.  Trust me, I know, I've got a whole list of them on my computer at work that I shoot out to anyone and everyone I hear about who might even possibly qualify - and I'm sure I don't have all of the programs available.  The only problem is finding out about them.  That IS one thing I think we should be doing better - services should be better publicized.  However, adoption agencies are legally bound to explain services to mothers, and it's not like you can't find them if you go looking for them.  If you think a woman is responsible enough to parent, she should have been able to prove that by taking the reigns and looking into her options.

Answer 5

I think I get you.  You mean stuff that helps them prepare to be a parent, help finding and holding a job, helping with some of the childcare, enough for them to get self sufficient and off the programs.  Lots of people only use this stuff only when they desperately need it.  Some take advantage of it, but not all.  Improve what they can qualify for.  Expand some programs or start new ones.  But weed out the individuals that abuse it.  I wouldn't mind supporting stuff with my tax dollars, especially since you never know when you yourself might need it.  And there are lots of people that do need it.

Answer 6

In Canada we do have great systems in place to help the woman/teen out.  The information they receive in no way encourage adoption, and adoption is only on the table if the pregnant person wants it to be.

The goals of these programs are to assist the parent in parenting skills, job finding, and to basically allow the parent to not be on social assistance for the rest of their life.

We also have many women on assistance with over 7 children each.  No thoughts to give on this at this time by I will say that my exposre to these family has been through the foster care system.  So are these children best off with the natural mother, when she is clearly unable, even with all the resources at her disposal, to parent her children?

Just food for thought.

Answer 7

Of course there should be good resources for all girls and women -- so when and if they become pregnant they can make informed, educated decisions.  Good abortion clinics, crisis pregnancy clinics and adoption agencies provide this.  Crisis pregnancy clinics rarely refer to adoption agencies, but rather refer to Right to Life or Religious Groups who offer to help by providing a used crib and some baby clothes.  FYI to all those who think adoption agencies hang out a OB offices or high school, waiting for victims, adoption agencies are required to offer foster care as an alternative first, then parent education and support, and community referrals (for WIC, food stamps and Section 8 housing, child care, etc.).  And laws are written to assure that a birthmother does not make a hasty decision about adoption by requiring several counseling visits (varies by state) before she can relinquish.  In addition, she cannot sign her relinquishment until 24 - 72 hours after delivery (depends on state), and then there is a revocation period of 1-6 months (again depending on the state) when a birthmother can change her mind about her adoption plan.  I believe this is what is  called an informed decision.

Answer 8

I noticed that many of the answers jumped on financial resources and missed the most important part of the question - unbiased information.  Access to unbiased information and unbiased counseling is the second most critical adoption reform (after open records) that is needed.

The brokerage of human beings is one of the most unregulated industries in the US.  Women and girls facing a crisis pregnancy are lured into situations that they think are social services which will look after their interests when, in fact, they are being advised by a "counselor" whose paycheck depends on her relinquishing her child.  That is true for private and public workers.

The fact that adoption workers and adoptive parents troll the internet, send letters to doctors asking them to violate HIPAA laws, and high school counselors looking for "poor helpless souls" and "confused girls" is evidence of the predatory nature and anything goes attitude of the adoption industry.  It is also evidence that there is an urgent need to have federal laws, standards, and oversight of the adoption process in the US.

The most damning evidence of the out of control industry is their infiltration of hospitals.  Women and girls who have no intention of giving their babies away are harassed in the hospital about adoption when they give birth.  Social services are right on them and sometimes hospital personnel are paid off to call agencies when a young mother has given birth.  This happened to my young MARRIED niece.  Her doctor knew that she and her husband were struggling financially and tipped off some "friends" who called social services to pay her a visit to question her ability to parent.  This is the kind of c**p that has to stop.

And yes, as long as the US has the money to hand out $10,000 adoption bonuses, we can afford to better financial resources for natural parents too.

Answer 9

There are better resources available, they just aren't usually government funded. Many religious organizations offer help to single (or, for that matter, married) mothers in need of assistance. My synagogue even does an outreach to the (non-Jewish) Hispanic community in our community. (Okay, I don't kow how to fix that sentence. You know what I mean.)

No one in my synagogue would tell a woman to give her child up for adoption. We would help her find the resources, if that's what she wanted, but we would also get her baby clothes, formula (if she needs), diapers, help with any older children...but we do it because we can and want to, not because she is owed it.

No one is owed resources from others, but many people in this world are glad to help. And religious (ooh, a bad word) organizations are typically a good place to find people like that. Maybe some are fire and brimstone types...but most are filled with people who genuinely want to help.

Answer 10

I don't agree with your statement that "so many feel that ..... she should relinquish". But if she cannot take care of herself, how can one expect her to raise a child when she is only a child herself. That's ludicrous. There are plenty of resources and facts for mature couples who plan pregnancy and just as many for girls having s*x, who shouldn't be, that we tax payers are paying for, and shouldn't be. Social workers aren't biased. They know the truth, data and statistics as well as most adults in the real world, who are very aware of the outcome of children having children. The only two "services" that should be better is s*x education, and not just in school, and allowing Planned Parenthood to speak. Some morals wouldn't hurt either. I agree with the poster who said that boys should be held accountable, also. What is wrong with parents who can't bother to supervise their children? Until they themselves become better and involved parents, there might as well be the same stigmas there were for hundreds of years, about having s*x out of wedlock. It's wrong that society is punished and forced to support  people and their children, who are having children, because they want someone to love them, who don't think, couldn't care less and refuse to accept the consequences of their actions. Just an FYI: are you aware of how many "latch-key kids" are having these "unplanned pregnancies"? I'd love to hear the real and truthful stats on that. Probably Joslin or Little Jainie have those answers, but you'll have to read them with an open, non-judgmental mind.

Answer 11

I would suggest that your friend, and other women/girls like her get in contact with their nearest pregnancy help clinic/centers- they can help them make very informed decisions- and also help it they decide to parent. Call 1-800 Carenet- and they will get you touch with your closest center.