Better to have one child or more?

Question

I have always just assumed that I would have 2-3 kids. My fiance agreed with this. Today he brought up that we might consider having only one child. These are the reasons he proposed: We are both in careers that can lead to a lot of traveling, which would be easier to do with only one child. Financially, having only one child is much smarter, allowing us to do more together as a family.

What are other people's opinions, both those with one child and those with more. Which is better?

Answer 1

There are cons and negatives to being an only child. We never really planned on how many kids we would adopt but after we adopted our 3rd child, three kids seemed like plenty. Then our fourth child came into our lives.  Prefect most would say 2 boys and 2 girls. Even though we had no plans to have biological children the Lord saw fit to bless us with two anyways (both boys). Though having six kids can be hectic at times we wouldn’t trade it for anything.

You and your future hubby  could have 1 child and decide that’s enough or you could also decide that you eventually want more. If you truly want to have more than one child I think this is something you both are going to have to seriously discuss. I have a friend she and her husband divorced a year ago. The reason was that after 5 years of marriage her DH decided he did not want to have kids. Original he said that he did want them. My friend wanted to be a mother too much; she plans to start an adoption process in 2009 as a single mother she’s hoping to adopt a sibling group.

Answer 2

Neither.  It depends on your family's needs and desires when it comes to parenting.

A bit of myth busting here:  only children are not lonely or spoiled.  http://www.newsforparents.org/expert_onl...

Make the choice that works for you.  Don't worry about what anyone else thinks.

Answer 3

I didn't really want any kids in the beginning. Then after we found out we were pregnant with our first, we agreed on just having him. Then a few months after he was born, we started talking about having more. We too wanted to focuse on our career and have some extra money but something inside me just kept giving me this feeling that I needed to have more than one. We're now expecting twins in Oct and then we're done. 3 boys is enough for me to handle!

You'll figure out the answer to your question when you become a mom. You have to see how much of a challege it is to have 1 kid and how much you really fall in love with parenting.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Right now, I only have one child. I do plan on having one more though. I grew up with a brother and sister and I can't imagine not having them around. We didn't always get along growing up, but now, as adults, we are very close. I want my daughter to have at least one brother or sister to grow up with .

Answer 5

having one child may seem better in theory, but often only children are spoiled and don't learn yes and no... they can be rude. Don't get me wrong, not all of them are like that but from what I've witnessed, many only children are a pain to be friends with because they dont have someone to tell them hey youre being annoying. i say 2 children!

Answer 6

I have one daughter. It is hard for me because she wants play with me while I need errands. My cousin who is only child and have enjoyment life but she wants sister or brother.

My friend who is only child, she complained to have sister and brother. She was happy that she have 2 children.

Answer 7

They both have their ups and downs but you won't know which is better for you until you have 1 child. Maybe you'll want a bigger family or maybe you'll find parenting difficult and not want more than 1. Maybe you'll focus on your career and want less children and maybe you'll want to become a stay at home mom with a big family. Only you can answer the question of what is better. Every family with 1 child and every family with more than 1 child is different.

I personally love kids (am a teacher) and love being a mom. I have 4 now and my doctor recently confirmed we are pregnant with #5...something we REALLY REALLY didn't plan lol. I enjoy having a big family, being surounded by my kids, teaching them things, watching them play and grow. We do TONS of stuff as a family!  Is it expensive? Yes. Do they take up a lot of time? Yes. But it's what we signed up for. My older kids have gained a true sense of responsibilty and care from helping me with the younger ones. My younger ones are advanced in certain skills because they spend so much time with their older sibings and myself. They've all learned that this isn't a "Me Me Me!" world. Everyone learns to share and has a turn in the spotlight. We need to support everyone as a family. I think this is hard for some only child children to grasp.

They both have pros and cons and like I said, you won't know until you become parents.

Best Wishes =]

Answer 8

I don't know.

I can't speak to what it's like to have one child because we had twins for our first kids!

Your fiance ought to consider that before making his mind up that he only wants one.  You have to be open minded before you have children because while singletons are certainly the norm, multiple births are going up soooooo much these days!  My twins were completely spontaneous!

Good luck!

Personally, btw, I wouldn't have it any other way.  Sometimes I think that it would have been nice to have just one baby to dote on but then which one would you have?  They are both the light and joy of my life.

Answer 9

We were set on having one child.  I told my husband a few years after having her that it was time for him to go have the procedure done to assure it would not happen again.  He all of a sudden decided he didn't want our daughter to be an only child.  They are 4 years apart and get along great.  I was hesitant about having another but my husband said she really needed a sibling.  It has helped my first grow up considerably also.  She use to be so afraid of minor things (slides, rides, etc.) and now she leads the way to show my youngest.  It's a personal decision but I am glad that we made the choice to have another.  As for the traveling, hopefully one of you will be home with your child.  Children should come first, it was your decision to have one - career should come second, in my opinion.

Answer 10

I think TWO kids is great. The one kid will be lonely and be different because she/he is an only child. My friend was and only child and rebelled because she was.

Answer 11

I have one son who is 18.5yrs and I wish I had had more. Have 1 child does have a lot of pros such as the ones you listed, but I think there are some downfalls as well.

For one, I felt that my son was lonely at times. He would have really enjoyed having another kid around instead of only adults to spend time with at home. You only experience a certain age ONCE with one kid. Once they finish pre-school, you're done with the pre-school stage etc. It doesn't hit you  until they graduate high school and you realize...that's it. You're done. I think also having more than 1 child teaches you a lot as well as your older child(ren). Parenting changed me in a lot of ways for the better and I think I would be a more accepting and patient person if I had more than 1 kid.

Honestly, you won't know what's better for you until you have your first.

Good luck

Answer 12

As eighteen years of child rearing can cost upwards of 500,000 (including a college fund, health insurance etc) the logical way to look at it would be to figure out what your earning potential is.  Take into consideration, the more children you have the harder it is to maintain a high paying job.  One child or ten, have what you can afford, not only financially but emotionally, timewise, supportwise etc.

Answer 13

We always knew we would have just one child.

She's a young adult now.....and she turned out fine.

Parents should have the children they can take care of emotionally and financially.

For each couple it's an individual choice.

Answer 14

Well I'm a mother of only one right now but i plan to have more.....however my sister is a mother of two and she is always telling me one is where it's at, not that she doesn't love her second she just deals with a lot more stress and doesn't have any free time with two but he kids are still young. I think it depends on what kind of lifestyle you want to live is it going to work traveling with 2-3 kids? who knows i think it has more to do with what you are willing to put up with and how much patience you have. It's like this when you have one you get through that first year and you finally sleep again but if you have another it starts all over. Keep in mind that children at every age present different needs and once you've done it once the second child can be a little easier for you to identify the stage (not easier to deal with just easier to identify) but you will always have new challenges to face and then repeating challenges as the other child grows up. I  think you should have the one your sure you want and then revisit the idea.

Answer 15

I have 1 child and that's all I want. When my hubby and I got married we wanted 2 or 3 but with a horrible pregnancy and the Army moving us everywhere and deployments I think it's best for just one. My husband thinks we should have  house full.

I have an older brother and grew up in his shadow. I hated it and never want my son to feel like I did growing up. For us it works having only 1 but it really varies from family to family. One isnt better than the other.

Answer 16

Im not a parent but i have 3 brothers and to think if i was an only child it would have been boring it might be harder having more than one kid but it will keep them occupied and if theres enough of an age difference you dont have to pay babysitters!

Answer 17

OH MY GOSH---- MORE!!!!

I have 4, and that's a perfect number.

They always have a friend or playmate...have them close together if you are worried about career disruption.  Get a mini-van.  Big families are the happiest one's, I wouldn't recomment just one child to anyone.