Bf trouble..please help?

Question

My bf doesn't understand why im upset about losing our baby because a)i wasn't very far gone

b)it wasn't planned

and

c)we had only just discovered i was pregnant

He thinks I am over reacting to be upset and keeps saying its not a big deal because the baby wouldn't have even been hardly developed.

How can i explain to him why it still makes me upset so he can understand from my point of view.

Answer 1

if you were wanting the baby... and you were both ready..

you could say to him how excited you were and how to be given something like that, then have it taken away, can be really upsetting.

i havn't been in this situation, so i don't know how it feels, but try to sit down with him and avoid any arguments, but try and let him know your true feelings about it... =]

Answer 2

Hey I know how you feel that's how my bf was with me. boys don't understand they say men don't become fathers until they see the kid and women become mothers when they get pregnant so its natural for you to feel like that  you were a mother and its natural for you to want to protect your kids and its not much you can tell him because he just won't understand so you may be over reacting to him but he just doesn't know what your going through and it may take you a while to get over it just take time but don't feel bad at all this is normal

Answer 3

Of course you're going to feel upset about it. You didn't mention your ages though. It sounds to me that he isn't really mature enough to understand pregnancy. In your question a)i wasn't very far gone (what do you mean by that?, wasn't far along?) and b)it wasn't planned (maybe thats why he doesn't feel any attachment). Its sad you had to go through that experience, and feeling as if you had no support by him, but hopefully you learned that he's not ready to become a parent. Until you both understand what a HUGE responsibility becoming parents are, I suggest you use protection.

Answer 4

your motherly instinctints have woken up.

you have lost a child - developed or un-developed. it is a big deal, yet i can understand why your fella doesn't see why its such a big deal.

try talking to him about how you feel and tell him that your hormones must be going haywire too and you need him to be supportive.

at the same time you need to try and move on with your life aswell, staying down like this could mean you result in another loss - your relationship. you hear plenty of stories where this happens and the girls loses the guy from being depressed after the loss of the child.

stay strong!

Answer 5

He won't understand your point of view.  You've said why he doesn't understand.  There are times guys just don't get it.  Plus that, he's probably not at that point in his life where he really wanted a baby, so he really isn't emotionally involved.  

You should probably seek counseling through your circle of friends or a professional.  Circle of friends would be much more understanding.  A professional would understand because they are getting paid.  

Answer 6

When someone is pregnant there is actually a human life growing inside them.  I guess he sees that as almost human but not yet. If he has any siblings say something like this: (let's call the sibling george)

"What if when your mom got pregnant with George that was a mistake, and she decided to get rid of him, would that be okay too? that should have been no big deal?"

Or even refer to yourself, "Or me, what I had been a mistake and my parents just decided to get rid of me, they should have just brushed that off like an everyday thing?"

But be calm when you talk to him about it, and don't turn it into and argument. It isn't fair the way he's ridiculing you for being upset, but you can't force him to see eye-to-eye.  

Maybe add something like " I'm not telling you to feel the same as me, I'm just asking you to understand and accept how I feel about this, and  to stop trying to change how I feel."

Good Luck and God bless!! :)  

Answer 7

Well your probably upset because you really wanted the baby. Some guys would be crying right now but some wouldn't. Maybe he just wasn't that excited for the baby in the first place.

I am sorry to hear this about your baby.