Biblical answer for a verbally abusive husband?

Question

He and I are both Christians and have been married about 2 years. He has been verbally abusive and has emotionally hurt me - a LOT. What is the Christian answer to this problem?

Answer 1

While you are praying about the situation, get someone from your church that he admires and/or respects to get involve. I am sorry about your marriage, but I somehow think that this person may not have been a christian or only became one because you asked him to.

Yours is one of several unequally yoked relationships that I know, where a truly decent christian female got involved with a non-christian and managed to get the male to church and thought that did it. What most of these christian girls forget is that, most males will do anything to get into your pants and thereafter reveal their true colors. If he is not a christian or God fearing man when you met him, then do not get involved with him until he becomes one of his own free-will!    

Answer 2

Pray is probably the solution.

Seems like a demon is in him. Do you know tongues? Take this to the religion section you might get more straight answers.

Answer 3

take that bible and slap him upside his head with it.

Answer 4

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Please seek a counselor ASAP for both of you. If he refuses to go with you, go by yourself.

Here are some Scriptures about words, and being kind:

Prov 10:12

12 Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.

1 Cor 16:14

14 Let all your things be done with love.

Eph 4:32

32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Gal 5:22-23

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

Eph 5:25-31

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (26) That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, (27) That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. (28) So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. (29) For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: (30) For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. (31) For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

(Proverbs 16:21,23,24,27,30 KJV)

(21) The wise in heart shall be called prudent: and the sweetness of the lips increaseth learning. (23) The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips. (24) Pleasant words {are as} an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. (27) An ungodly man diggeth up evil: and in his lips {there is} as a burning fire. (30) He shutteth his eyes to devise froward things: moving his lips he bringeth evil to pass.

(Proverbs 18:4,7,20,21 KJV)

(4) The words of a man's mouth {are as} deep waters, {and} the wellspring of wisdom {as} a flowing brook. (7) A fool's mouth {is} his destruction, and his lips {are} the snare of his soul. (20) A man's belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth; {and} with the increase of his lips shall he be filled. (21) Death and life {are} in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

(Matthew 12:34b,36-37 KJV)

(34) For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. (36) But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. (37) For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.

I sincerely hope this helps!!!  

Answer 5

The best thing to do would be to talk to your pastor. You don't have to tell him anymore than you want to but it would be in your best interest. My pastor has helped guide me in the right direction so many times. Have you tried talking to your husband and telling him how his words make you feel? you need to find out why he talks to you like that. If he is a true Christian, he will talk it out and help fix the situation. See if you can get him to join a couples group at church. Sounds like you two need to spend some time together getting closer. Something is causing his abusiveness. Good luck.

Answer 6

The person who says you are to submit and go on missed the other part of the verse where it says "Husbands love your wives just as Christ loves the church".  Christ certainly doesn't abuse His followers.  

I think you both need to find out what true love really is.  Calmly sit down together and read 1 Corinthians 13 "The Love Chapter" where it says love is patient and kind and seeks not its own way at the expense of others.  It isn't boastful or proud and always believes in the positive.  This love is such that it will gladly give up its own life to save the life of another.  If love dies, it wasn't love in the first place, but something else like lust.  It says of faith, hope and love that the greatest is love.

It is this kind of love that has kept my wife and I married for over 30 years.  It takes commitment and effort by both partners for it to be successful.  I suggest that you go to your pastor for counseling or attend a marriage enrichment class (Or whatever other title your church calls it.) together to mend what has happened between you.  You both can save your relationship if you want it to be and I suggest that you take steps soon to save it.  

Just to be clear, God hates divorce ("What God has joined together let no one separate".) and only excuses it for the reasons of adultery or if a non-believer wants out after a spouse converts to Christianity (Jesus said "The one who marries a divorced person commits adultery".).  Those telling you to bail out now before you have tried my solution are sending you astray.

If I had both of you before me in person, I would tell you more, but right now it is kind of one sided and I don't have the space I need to write everything.  Please try what I have suggested before making a rash decision.  May you be greatly blessed, guided and loved by our Lord.

Answer 7

Do not stay with him!! Obviously, he is not a Christian if he would do something like that to you.  I am a Christian also and I will be praying for you. But please divorce him for the sake of all who loves you.  Find yourself a REAL Christian man and he will treat you the right way.

Answer 8

Here are some scriptures.  Ask God to speak to YOUR heart before you read them.  Call your church and set up a counseling appointment or get a referral for a Christian marriage counselor. Verbal, emotional and physical abuse was NOT part of the deal for us women when God set up marriage and it's principals.............

Gen 2:18

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

Gen 2:22 -24

Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib [i] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

The man said,

       "This is now bone of my bones

       and flesh of my flesh;

       she shall be called 'woman, [j] '

       for she was taken out of man."

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Proverbs 18:22

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.

Ecclesiastes 9:9

Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun— all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.

1 Peter 3: 7

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Colossians 3:19

Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

Now, these are just some of the scriptures on Husbands and Wives....

As a wife you are to fully submit to your husband.

Ephesians 5: 22-24

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

I know you said he's Christian but...........Do you have a husband who's worthy of your submission?  Don't make any excuses for him ESPECIALLY if he's a Christian. I pray for your clarity in this situation..... I've been there.

God bless you!

Answer 9

The bible says you should submit to your husband.

Then again, the bible says a lot of very unhelpful things.

Why not seek a practical solution like leaving him?

Answer 10

Two ways to handle:

1. He needs to address the reason behind all of it.  Perhaps anger management classes or some type of marriage counseling.

2. You can refuse to put up with it.   either by  A)  Tell him if he continues the relationship may be over

B)  Everytime he does it, you must leave from what ever you are doing.  If you are watching a movie at home and he starts yelling, get in the car and go shopping for 5 hours and leave him alone.  You must do this everytime, so that he knows he will be alone when he's crabby.

C)  Smart off right back to him.  Dig  just as deep, so he can actually see how it feels.  Sometimes people don't realize how hurtful they are until they experience it themselves.