Big potty training problem

Question

My son is refusing to potty train. He was doing pretty good for a while, only when he was naked. He would go both with no problem in the potty but refused to wear underwear. Now he refuses to even go in the potty, and is taking off his diaper after he's gone in it and is making a huge icky mess. I keep telling him that he's suppose to go in the potty and he right out tells me no. I've tried everything from prase to prizes and special outings and a big deal out of new underwear. He just insists on his diaper being on and then when he messes in it he either takes it off and makes a mess or comes out to me and literally demands me to change him. He just turned 3 and I don't know what to do.

I'm at my wits end with this, I don't know what to do. I do know i'm tired of cleaning poo up off he floor and from under his fingernails. Someone please help me.

Answer 1

How old is your son? Are you sure he is even ready?

My son went through this in a way... I think it is a battle of wills and he is probably at a stage where he feels like he has no control over anything so this is something he thinks he can control.

My suggestion is to keep him in diapers. Set up a potty in his room and one in the bathroom. Give him lots of apple juice and try to keep track of his bowl movements so you have an idea of when to expect them. Most children do have a schedule of when they need to p**p... You just have to watch carefully to figure it out. Then make sure you pay close attention.. if he is straining, grunting, making faces, going off to hide or grabbing his butt take him to one of the potties and sit him down on it.. Read him a favorite book, give him a toy, or put a movie in on a portable DVD player.. Make going to the potty fun. You can reward poops with tootsie rolls and pee with a favorite juice or gummy bears or something of the sort.

If he takes his diaper off make him clean up his mess himself. Make him wipe his butt, even if it takes forever and makes a bigger mess for you. Make him wash his hands and buy a finger nail scrubber (they kinda hurt) and make him scrub under his own fingernails... Kids HATE cleaning up p**p, it should really make him start to want to use the potty.. less mess for HIM to clean.

Try not to pressure him a whole lot though.. Tell him it is up to him to go when he needs to. And unless you see him showing signs that a bowel movement is imminent don't ask him if he needs to go. Matter of fact, quit asking all together, just take him when it looks like he needs to go. He will probably pee every single time he has a bowel movement so that should get him started on that too.

Giving the apple juice will make him need to go a lot and will make the bowel movements less painful and difficult, kids don't have the patience to sit for 10 minutes to push the harder ones out.

Remember though, it isn't that he doesn't know how.. it is that he is trying to be in control.. the more control you allow him the happier he will be to go to the potty... If he is in control of cleaning himself and has his own potty in his room then things should start to change fairly quick.

There is a movie called Elmo's Potty Time, that may help. There is also a book called "Everybody Poops" AND there is a special potty out there made just for boy's called a Peter Potty... THEY LOVE THIS!!! It is a bit expensive but you can usually find a cheaper one on e-bay.. worth every dime.

If there is a daddy in the picture make him take your son to the bathroom every time he goes... Start taking your son to the bathroom in public places too. It makes them feel special and he will want to go OFTEN if you do this... Let him know that babies wear diapers and it is time for him to be a little man.. little men wear big boy pants!

Last but not least, if he is pulling his diaper off at night or during naps, buy those shirts that button between the legs or buy those footed onsie nightgown things that zip or button up.. They are a good bit harder to get off then just shorts or pants and the typical toddler won't work that hard at them before getting distracted by another task.

I know it is stressful but I'll tell you, the more stressed and angry you get the less he will do anything for you. My son and I battled from the age of 2 until just before his 4th birthday. Then I tried this more relaxed approach and within 2 weeks he was pooping all of the time in the toilet.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

Okay what you need to do is get a small cheep DvD player but in a movie and put it in the bathroomand keep him on the toilet WITH CLOTHES don't let him naked. And eventualy he will go potty. It worked for me!LOL! good luck

Answer 3

What is his punishment, when he makes a mess and talks back to you? (Do not let him!!) Are you sure he is ready? Or is he enjoying pushing your buttons? Kids do this sometimes.

I trained my grandson in 2 weekends with stickers, he was 3 and a half. When he went potty like a "big boy,"  he got one(sticker) on him and one on a piece of paper on the wall, where everyone could see it. We set a goal of 50, which then we went to the store and he got to choose his bright, cartoon underwear.  If he was in a diaper, and did not tell us, no rewards. We went no where special, ate nothing special and so on.

We made a big deal of him being a "big boy"  Maybe, this will help you. Good luck!  

Answer 4

I don't know what to do about the #2 messes, but my mom potty trained my brother by throwing some cheerios into the toilet so he could aim at them??

Answer 5

If he is not using the potty then he just isnt ready maybe.  

I tried my son at 2 1/2 years and he just wasnt ready I tried again at just over 3years and used sticker reward charts (with a prize of getting a toy of his choice) and he mastered it within a week

You just have to not make a fuss over it and not force him