Big relationship problem!! advice please?

Question

My boyfriend is a student and we usually rely on my part time job and his student loans and grants to get by (we have two small children). We don't get any student money during the summer so I asked my bf to ensure he found work for the summer. He kept putting it off and putting it off and we slowly began drowning in bills and debts. I begged him to get a job which he eventually did but now it's too little to late we are now facing eviction and court action over non payment council tax. The arrears in rent/CT from when he wouldn't get a job are too much for us to cope with and we can't get a lone ANYWHERE. I begged him to go out and find work and warned him I couldn't pay the bills alone. Now I am so angry with him for getting us in this mess, I tried my hardest to pay everything on my PT wage and he knew I couldn't keep us going indefinitely. I feel like I hate him but I will be even worse off financially if I kick him out I don't know what to do or where to turn, both sides of the family won't help and I am scared me and our kids will end up on the street with this huge debt hanging over me (that's if I don't get locked up over the council tax bill) what do I do?

Answer 1

Ok, take a deep breath and relax!

First you need to write a formal letter to each of your creditors and your landlord. In the letter address these points;

Your monthly out goings and outstanding debts

List the debts on a priority basis, Rent and Council Tax first then energy bills, loans, catalogues etc...

Why you have been suffering finacial difficulty (just be brief don't outwardly blame your bf)

A realistic time you will be able to start paying off the outstanding debts

an offer of a small weekly payment until you can afford more.

Apologise and ask them to please hold off on court action for the time being.

Next please call the CT office for your council before your court date, if you agree to make a monthly payment of say £50-£100 they will take this as an arrangement to pay and you will not have to attend court.

After you have called them also send them a letter confirming what has been agreed. You must stick to the agreements you make or they WILL evict/take you to court.

Next; your bf, well what can I say? I think he has let all of you down terribly, I can understand your anger and despair of him but it's important to put this aside for now until you have your financial situation under control or you may find yourself losing completely!

Once you have done your letters and phone calls and they have accepted your atempts to clear your arrears, sit him down and tell him everything you have told us; make it very clear that what he has got you all in to is unnacceptable and effectivley ruining your relationship. If you are serious about making him leave then ensure he takes responsibilty for his part of the debt he caused and organize a standing order in to your account every month of at least half of the bills. I am sorry you are in this situation and sorry it's your man who put you in it, if he wants to win you back he will have to prove he can be more responsible about your family in future.

Call you local CAB for more advice on your situation, hope this helped and good luck you have done your part for your children at least even if he hasn't.

Answer 2

Honestly I would leave him! Find a friend or family member you can stay with until you can get back on your feet - split the bills up & pay your half off-school should being starting soon so he'll have student loan money & he can pay his have of the bills!    

Answer 3

the only thing you can do in this situation, is to apply for welfare, i know u may not want to hear it but if he's not helping you the way he needs to, then your only other option b/c of the financial security of your kids is to get welfare, not meant to be on it for long termed, but atleast until better can be done.GL to you and ur kids!

Answer 4

Because you have children the Local Authority have a statutory obligation to house you.

But, you still need to deal with the relationship.

Answer 5

You musnt of been paying CT for a while now cause they wait till the end of the tax year before chasing you. That means you havent been paying your bills for at least a year now. Your rent should always be your first priority.A roof over your childrens heads SHOULD be more important to you than anything else.

Theres no point in me telling you to dump him cause you won't and anyway, dumping him won't solve anything.

I think you need to tell whoever you owe rent to that there is nothing you can do and  go straight to the citizens advice beaurau.

I wish you good luck but you got yourself into it don't just expect everyone else to get you out of it.

Good Luck