Biggest misconception about mothers who work and put their children in daycare?

Question

The biggest misconception to me is that *ALL* working mothers need to have adult interaction everyday, thus putting their children in daycare.

What are some of yours?

Answer 1

That they choose material wealth over their children.

I know most working mothers do not have the choice to stay home, and if they could they would. Honestly, I can;t see how you can carry and nurture a child for nine months and then choose to go back to work. We are lucky, I have been a SAHM for 7 years, with no plans to return to work anytime soon. There are many mothers who don't reaslize that they CAN make being a SAHM work, but it takes lifestyle changes that they are either unwilling or unable to change.

Answer 2

I think one is that people feel that working mothers work because they "must" - i.e. for financial reasons.  

I do work for financial reasons in a way - not to prevent starvation, to save money for my children's future private school education and college tuition.  but we could easily get by on my husband's salary as a hedge fund manager.

By me working, we more than double our income.  Since we know it is more of a tendency for working parents to not spend as much time with their kids, we make a conscious effort to do so - even if we are tired and busy.

Answer 3

I think that day cares are a great Idea it gives a chance for the child to interiact with other kids but also having good supervision while the parents are working

Answer 4

I think the biggest (or at least the most unbelievably insensitive) misconception about working mothers whose kids are in daycare is that they are doing it because they don't love their kids or they don't care about them.

This is ridiculous of course (I'm sure there are some people for whom this is the case, but they are the exception, not the rule) and if it were true then it wouldn't be so difficult for those mothers.

I wish people would just keep their judgments about this to themselves, it seems like it must put an arrow through those mothers' hearts everytime someone says something like this.

Answer 5

im a single mother who has no one to help me support my daughter her father wants nothing to do with her and has yet to get a job to help...so tell me how I can possibly stay home with her..I have to work and its not choosing material things over her its choosing to be able to have a place to live!

Answer 6

Go on the Working Mother magazine website to their top employer lists. If someone as early as high school, who wants to have a family, is smart about their career choices, they can have great paying jobs, with more flexibility benefits.  So my husband and I each have about 7 weeks vacation.  Thats 14 weeks total, a whoppin third of the year.  Now theres quality time with the kids.   We also have flexibility to stay home when they are sick.  

We also have enough money to pay someone to fix the roof, and not get the kids babysat if we needed to do it ourselves.  Plus the dual incomes, prevent marital stress over $$.  The last I checked, I think moneys on the top of that list.  And I think a strong marriage can help build a strong family.  

That said, if you do it right, and find a great daycare, I think you net just as much quality time with your kids as a stay at home situation.  The key is not to settle.

Answer 7

We don't understand how hard it is for our babies if we are away from home for hours. I work 9 hour day which mean my children are in daycare for 11 hours. I  HATE IT. But if I dont work they don't eat. It is a long time for them to be away in the world sharing a teacher with other children. I make them home cooked meals to let them know I care and I get in the bed with each of them at night and sing any 3 songs they want. I tell them I love them in english, spanish and french but at 6am I start the day over again

Answer 8

The selfish one... I'm not a mommy yet but my mom has worked all my life and I'm a college student now. I'm an independent, hardworking individual, two traits I learned from my mom and dad. Most children who moms stay at home have a hard time with the college transition, as most of them have never cooked, cleaned, or done their own laundry. My aunt was making excuses for why her son failed out of school and it was because he didn't have his mommy to wake him up, I've never had my mother wake me up. I hate when people look at my mom like she's a bad person because she chose to work, she's the best mom ever in my opinion and she's made me the strong individual that I am today. I hate misconceptions about people, working moms and stay at home moms are good people and just because your a working mommy, does not make you selfish, it makes you a provider for your children. Just my opinion.

Answer 9

Biggest misconception is people who think the only reason we put our children in day care is because of selfishness. How about my reason? If I don't work, my husband and I can't pay our mortgage or eat since we live in New Jersey and want to stay near our families. Who are they to look down on those of us who need to work and put our children in day care?

(Jane, I totally changed my answer after I read your question again. Read it completely wrong the first time. Didn't mean to point a finger at you once I realized what you were saying. Sorry!)

Answer 10

The biggest misconception about mothers in the workforce is that they aren't putting their children first.  Exactly like most stay at home moms, most of them are very much doing what is best for their children in light of their family's particular circumstances.

The biggest misconception about mothers who stay at home is that they are too lazy to work.  There's nothing lazy about working hard for no pay.

The biggest misconception about people generally is that most of us are dumb enough to buy into these types of misconceptions.  Most of us realize everyone's working hard to do the best they can for their families.

Answer 11

Some I've read are that they are lazy for putting their children in child care and that they don't want to spend time with their children. Both of which are not the case. Most families just need that second income OR it is a case of single parenting in which the mother is doing the best she can to provide for her baby/babies.

Answer 12

I think a big misconception is that we do it because we are putting our careers in front of our kids. And anyone who says that is living in a dream world. Its 2008 not 1938.  It costs a lot of MONEY to take care of a child. Unless your spouse is a millionaire then its hard to really make it in this economy.  Its not that we are putting our careers in front of our kids we are putting a lot on the line just for being at work. But us Working moms do it because we want the BEST for our children.  Which means being able to send them to better schools, going on family vacations, giving them better living standards. etc.