Biggest mistake of my life help!!!?

Question

So when i was 15 i lost my virginity to a guy who i didnt like at all, i just lied to myself about it and i only dated him because he was my first bf and i liked the thought of having a bf, he was 21 at the time ( ya i know what pedifile but of course i didnt think that :/ ) and i pretty much wasted all my firsts on im except my first kiss (btw ive had s*x with no one since then)....ne way now im older 22 and i found my first love (now hes my fiance btw) im really truly in love with him and he lost his virginity to me... he knows that i lost it before but i cant get over the fact that it hurts me so much everyday that i didnt wait because i love him with all my heart and would have loved to share such an amazing experiance with him not someone who used me... all i do is wish i could take it back but i cant so how do i get over it?

Answer 1

you were young and made a mistake.  you can not change the past.  just don't think about it anymore.  

Answer 2

There is nothing you can do, except pass your wisdom on to your daughters.

I know how you feel! Except, I was raped at 12... For me, my husband has given me a lot of firsts.... First to kiss me and make me weak in the knees.... First to give me an "O" (If you know what I'm talking about)... First to give me the greatest joy, but also the lowest sorrow... And these are just some of the firsts I've experienced with him. It would have been great to give him my virginity too, so all I can do is try and express what I feel to my daughter and hope she'll wait. If she doesn't, I couldn't really blame her, I mean you either save it and then it seems like you wish you have a few notches under your belt.... or you don't save it and wish you did.

I guess the only thing for you to do is concentrate on the firsts you can have and will have and already have had with him. Forget about the past, leave it in the past... Make a bright new future together!

Answer 3

Hardly the biggest mistake of your life. Don't worry about it ever. You can't change past. You were 15 for goodness sake. You clearly had no brain and were so mesmerized by the 21 year old that you didn't know what to do. You didn't have a crystal ball. Every step you took then brought you to your fiance now. You would not appreciate him as much as you do and love him as much as you do if you had not had the experiences you had in the past.

Know in your heart that you have no regrets because every step you took brought you to your fiance. Ever hear that song "God bless the broken road that led me straight to you?" Well it is true.  

Answer 4

It wasn't real the first time!! You weren't making love then. You made love for the first time with your fiance. Forgive yourself!!

Answer 5

If you cannot get over this, you are only hurting yourself and your relationship with your Boyfriend. You may want to consider counseling to help cope with your past.

If this is eating away at you, how are you going to deal with other crisis and challenges in life later on?

You need to tell yourself that You CANNOT change the past! That is all there is to it. You can learn from it and move on. You can only live ONE day at a time.  

Answer 6

i think u should just accept the fact that u made a mistake, yes it hurts, but look at the postive things it did 2 u, it made u a smart women not 2 have s*x again until u were married. & u did share a wonderful exprience with a man u love very much, hes not the first, but hes the first u loved & made love to, all u can do is forget, cuz for the rest of your life this man will make u forget all the worst & bring the postive..=)

Answer 7

Look at it this way: you had better put it behind you because you are allowing the memory to turn what should be a great experience with your fiance into a regrets session.  Remember that your past is a big part of what makes you what you are today.  You learned from that experience that what is best for you is only to make love with someone about whom you truly care.  And for that, the experience had value.  Forgive yourself, and enjoy the good, happy life that you now have.

Answer 8

tell your fiance that he can be the first to bang your butt.  hey - doesn't sound attractive to me either, but it would definitely be a first!!!

Answer 9

Who cares?  It's a broken hymen.  Why are you placing such importance on it?  It's gone & it's not coming back.  You can either worry about it or go on with your life but no amount of fretting is going to change it either way so why be such a worry wart.

Answer 10

Honey, you're one of many women who have experienced the same situation.  You have to stop looking backward and focus on what is in front of you.  You can't take back the past, so stop dwelling on it...it won't change, but your attitude toward it can.  Appreciate yourself and thank God for the wonderful man that he has put in your life today!  Best of Luck to you.

Answer 11

Dwelling on the past isn't going to help you one bit. What was done is done. Be happy for now.

Answer 12

Just tell him you were a bad girl and then move on.  Can't change the past so there is no sense spending any time on it.

Answer 13

there's is nothing that you can do to change the fact that you lost it at such a young age and to someone that you didn't love or even like for that matter.  but now 7 years later, it's time to move on.  you've already admitted that you regret losing it, there is ABSOLUTLY NOTHING that you can do anymore about it.  what's done is done and no use crying over spilt milk.

good luck and let it be over.

Answer 14

You cannot change the past so it is time to let it go.  You made a choice that you now regret.  Let that teach you to examine all alternatives and possibilities before making such an important and irrevockable decission in the future.  Now forgive yourself and forget it. In the long run what you did in your past has little to do with what you do in the future how much is completely in your control  Now say good by to the guilt, realize that it is not that important and do not let this put any more clouds on your happiness.  You have nothing to feel guilty about...nothing that truely matters.

Answer 15

What was done was done.  You were 15.  Don't allow one bad decision to s***w up the rest of your life.  It's not the end of the world.  You have an entire relationship to build where other things will be way more important than the fact he was not your first.  You have to stop beating yourself up.  If he is accepting you, then you need to accept yourself.   He's not holding it against you so why should you hold it against yourself.  Even God is a forgiving God and you are not higher than him.  So if God can forgive you, you need to forgive yourself and move on with living life.  There is far much more to experience and see in life than a past youthful mistake.    You have alot more things to experience with him, including the experience of different sexual experiences together.  It's about building a new and wonderful life with this new person, not crying over some past escapade.

Answer 16

I don't think you should beat yourself up over this.  Usually, the first time is only the beginning and girls use it as an excuse for f the world... you didn't do that... That is very commedable.  If you gave him your whole heart, who cares what you did 7 years ago, you might as well be a virgin physically, because clearly you have spent your emotional virginity on him... Congratulations and good luck...

Answer 17

u just stop thinking  about it,,life goes on,,and just b happy with your new bf,,and share a  lot of other things  with him,,make lots o f good memories,,,cause life sto short to stress out on old memories,,PEACE

Answer 18

I lost my virginity to the who is now my fiance when I was 15. I am now 22, pregnant and we own a house together.

I know that I was in love with him when I gave myself to him so long ago but sometimes I wonder if the only reason I stay is because I am trying to convince myself that I should marry the one I lost my virginity to. We broke up a few times and I dated other guys but it would have just felt wrong to be with anyone else.

Not doubting your current relationship- but love can change over time. Especially in my situation because we were kids and now we are adults.

My advice to you is be grateful that you have the relationship that you do. It sounds like you are in love and most importantly that you trust him enough not to judge you for your past. You learned from your mistake and that is what is important. Better than staying with someone who would have not been the right one for you.