Biological Fathers Vs Step Fathers?

Question

I know this question is quite controversial.

I am wanting peoples opinion on step families vs biological, the situation is I left my ex when I was pregnant as he has a drug problem and was emotionally abusive and was and still is involved with some pretty nasty people, I still encouraged involvement with his son as I felt even though he was a bad partner I should give him benefit of the doubt to be a good father however he treats his son more as a trophy and doesn't care for his well being his son is currently seriously ill and all his concern is getting the "time he's entitled too" even if it comes at the risk of his son. He doesn't seem to realize that a child is a life that needs time, attention, love and care.

I have a new partner now and have had for the past 9 months my son is 11 months old. My new partner has 5 children of his own which are around my sons age and they all get along fantastically and my new partner is a fantastic father a great role model and my son absolutely adores him.

The question is should I continue to encourage the relationship with his biological father and allow his involvement in his life up to 50% of the time or should I encourage the relationship with my partner and fight to keep my exes time limited till he has got his addiction and life in order?

Answer 1

You should not and will not have to keep your ex out of your sons life.

Your son will make the dissension to spend more time with his step father ad less time with his bio father.  

Answer 2

I was wondering.  Why do people have children with people who are strung out and not well?  Then they leave and seem baffled and confused about what to do.  I will never understand this.  Poor kid.

Answer 3

I would require him to have supervised visitation until he is off the drugs. At this time he isn't fit to be a parent. Have the courts require him to take a drug test each week to prove he isn't using drugs. Your main concern is not what is best for the father, but what is best for the child.

He has to chose what is more important to him, his drugs or his son.

A little advice to you....you need to stop depending on a man to take care of you and your son. You went from one man and right into the arms of another one. This one may be a great guy, but he already has 5 KIDS! Slow down girl, you are going too fast.

Answer 4

he defently needs to get help with his addiction problem & soon so he can be in his sons life but you also don't need to have him spending so much time with new partner cuz even if he is a great father to his children, he's not your son's father & you say you've only been together for 9 months? your son is still young so hopefully his father will get through this before he gets old enough to realizes what's going on best wishes