Biological dad isn't around, what can i do?

Question

I'm dating a beautiful woman who has a 3 year old and the topic of discussion has come up that when we get married, she would like me to adopt her 3 year old. Biological daddy has never been in the picture, and I would love to adopt him, being that I'm the only male role model that has ever been in his life, and he has really taken to me, besides the fact that his mother and myself really connect. This is something that will wait until we get married, but how do i start the process of adoption? Is it a long and tedious process or a short one. I really have never driven down this street before and am anxious to know the answer.

Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

Give it time. I read not so long ago where a young man wanted to do just what you are and after a couple of years they broke up now he wants out of paying child support for the rest of the time intil the child reaches 18.  Make sure this is what you want and you will always be this child father no matter what. The child has already lost one dad.

  By the way if he is one the birth records or pays child support you have to get him to sign over his rights.

Answer 2

Get a lawyer.  If I remember correctly, he/she will put adds in some papers with the name of the bio-father, stating that there has been a request (or something like that) for the child a..b..c... to be adopted and if there is any objection that this man should contact this lawyer.

After a certain period of time, if there is no reply, then they start the legal proceedings for you to adopt.  I THINK that the process would go faster and smoother if you were married to the mother first, but I am not quiet sure about that.  

It is very unusual for the bio f. to answer, especially if he hasn't been in the picture at all.   In my opinion, there is going to be no problem for you.  However, you will need a lawyer, or you can look up "how to do it yourself" on the net and maybe these days, YOU can put the adds in the papers etc/.

Every lawyer usually gives a free first consultation.  Maybe the first thing to do would be to go to a lawyer, see what he tells you and if you can do it on your own, and you don't have too much money, that would be the best way to go.

Good luck, but I honestly do not feel that you are going to have any problems.

Mother of 6 (adults now) children adopted from birth and grandmother of 7.

Answer 3

First off the father HAS to sign over his parental rights. It has to be done. My brother just went through this with his daughter. But her bio dad was more then happy to sign his rights over. I think what you are doing is a wonderful thing!

Answer 4

Actually my family just went through the same thing. My husband adopted my daughter in Sept.2007. Her biological dad was in and out of her life up until she was 5 yrs. old, I married my husband when she was 6 and he didn't adopt her until she was 12. However, we didn't begin the process until she was 11, and that was because her bio dad during this time was still in and out, paying support not paying support, etc. I finally took matters into my own hands and cut him off in order to preserve my daughters emotional state of having her hopes dashed everytime he would decide he wanted to be a dad only to change his mind within a day or so. When I finally told him if he wasn't consistant he needed to stay away - he (not surpisingly) stayed away. Meantime my husband was eager to adopt her and she was eager to be adopted and in this time I had also had two more children and she really wanted more than anything to share the same name as her brothers. I felt this would make her also not feel separate from us. We ended up hiring a lawyer and actually convinced her bio dad to sign his rights away. After it was explained to him the child support would stop building and that this was probably the best thing he could ever do for her he agreed. All in all from start (having papers drawn up) to finish (adoption hearing) the whole process for us (we live in PA.) took about 9 months to a year. If her bio dad would've fought us it may still be going on. Also wasn't too expensive since we got him to just sign his rights over. It was about $1100.00 total. I think we would all agree it was definitly worth the trouble because I felt it was important for my daughter to feel that she was really a part of our family and I was worried that she would always feel different in the back of her mind. Now at least I know we've done everything to prevent that. We also are pretty open with her and she knows that if she wants to talk to us about her bio dad she can. We just told her that he is the one missing out on her not the other way around. Good luck... hope this helps.

Answer 5

My husband just went through the adoption process for my 3 sons... It was pretty lengthy as we had to locate the named father on the birth certificates.....it took about 1 1/2 years.... go to the courts in the district that you live in and find out what their procedures are.

Congrats ad Good luck