Bipolar and relationships?

Question

I have a friend who has involved himself with a women who has Bipolar disease, she lives with her ex fiance and has a relationship with my friend. My friend cheated on his wife with this women and believes he is in love with her. Now come to find out she is pregnant and doesnt know who the Dad is? My friend is getting a divorce and wants this women to move in with him but she wont, he bought her a new car and i fell he is becoming obsessed with her. What do I do to help him? do I just let him live his life and be there to support him ( even though it kills me, because I think she is useing her disease to rule him) .

Answer 1

Thank You Cassie. Good answer. I am also bipolar, I am also a handful, but a good person.

Please don't blame her defects on bipolar disorder, we take a bad rap as it is because these days it is the "flavor of the month" and any bad behavior seems to be labeled bipolar. In reality, people with bipolar disorder tend to be highly intelligent, highly creative, highly motivated people. (think Ben Stiller, Robin Williams, Virginia Wolff, Lord Byron, Hemingway....). She may just be a manipulative ***** (which can happen to plenty of people who do not have bipolar disorder).... though we only see one side of the story. You will have to let him live his life. If he is in love with her there is not much you can say or do to change his mind...... Be supportive.  

Answer 2

Being bipolar doesn't make you an a*****e. I'm bipolar, and I never cheat on my partners or manipulate people. I can be a handful, but I'm a good person.

And obviously, someone doesn't have to be mentally ill to be an a*****e. Your friend cheated on his wife and may have gotten this woman pregnant - what's HIS excuse?

Everyone is guilty in this scenario. Stop blaming the mentally ill person just because she's an easy target.

Answer 3

That's a complicated situation.  You can counsel and advise your friend all you want.  If he's not ready to hear your words, you are reducing their power.  Let him live his life until the time is right.

I, like Cassie, have bipolar.  I have never cheated on anyone.  I don't use my illness for gain, although sometimes I need for allowances just like anyone with any chronic illness.  People with bipolar are individuals like the rest of the population.  Your friend did cheat on his wife and is leaving her for another woman.  He is no more innocent than the other woman.  If anything, he bears the added "guilt" of having been married.  That's not her's to bear.  That does not make her the evil villian.  As for her not leaving her ex, that happens all the time.  However, with bipolar comes the reality that stress and change are episode triggers.  Her reluctance to move may be wrapped up in that knowledge and fear of setting herself off.  Then again, it may simply be that she doesn't want a serious relationship with your friend, which again happens all the time regardless of mental condition.  If she is using her disorder, that's specific to her.  Manipulation is not a symptom of bipolar.

The situation is not so simple, and I suspect that in a great many ways, you do not know the other side of the equation.  Take care in what you say to your friend, you may very easily and unknowingly step in it.

Answer 4

It sounds like your friend is making some wrong choices and you can see it clearly. This woman does have Bipolar and it sounds like it's either untreated or not under control. Unfortunately one of the side effects of having bipolar is an out of control s*x drive. It sounds like your friend may be taken by this quality in her. (you know how men are) She sounds like a real winner not knowing who the father is. All you can do is try to talk to your friend and try to eduate him about her illness..Shareing with him how she may be on a manic high right now but, she is going to crash and he won't like her when she does. (Untreated Bipolars are real fun when they are manic but when they come down they become depressed and angry).He should get out now while his skin is still intact(she's most likely spending a bunch of his money)...and if he's so in love that he won't leave encourage him to have her get the mental help. When you've said your advice your gonna just have to let it go.

This advice is comming to you from a woman who has 12 years of controlled Bipolar disorder. I hope you'll take it.

Answer 5

It's his life, let him live it. be there to support him when he needs it.

Answer 6

You can let him know how you feel but really it's not you decision. If he is your friend then just support him. Give him some friend advice of what you would do and see what he says...good luck