Bipolar friend??????

Question

how can i deal with my bipolar friend when she starts getting all pissy?! please help! thanks(:

Answer 1

Just take it. She doesn't mean anything she's doing or saying. She can't control herself. I know it's hard and painful but, you have to remember that she has no control over it. It probably frustrates her more then it does you. I know it's painful, but she doesn't mean it. When she gets "pissy" as you called it, she's no in control of it. She isn't aware of how she's acting. Just ignore it and act like she's not upset. Support her and stay by her side. Thats all you can do.

I know it must be painful for you, but try to imagine what it's like for her. She's hurting people she cares about without even realizing it.  

Answer 2

That does not sound like bi-polar. They do not tend to change so quickly.  You need to make your expectations clear. Let her know you won't be around her when she is pissy. Let her know that when she is happy and safe to be around you will be there but life is too short to be verbally assaulted by a friend.

Answer 3

The thing with bipolar, even treated, we often act or react to things based on the moods.  

I know I’ve flat out hung up on a good friend and was really pissy with him for a bit because the way he said something I took really badly because of the mood I was in.Really had no issue with what he said once I was able to step back from it.  

I have learned that many times, no matter how pissed I am about things im best off keeping it in til im calmed down to address it, because some times the moods so make reactions to things more intense or even because of having a distorted perception of the situation.  And that has taken me quite a while....and I still don’t always succeed.

Pretty much what you are describing is she has that kind of reaction to you, having a distorted perception, or reacting more intensely.  And then she realizes she has done it and apologizes.  In doing that, she is taking responsibility for her actions....she is realizing that she was wrong and acknowledging it.......many people never even do that.  Will just turn around and act like nothing is wrong.  Try cutting her some slack.  Try to learn to recognize what is the illness, and what is her.  If you can learn to seperate what is the illness and what is your friend, it will become a bit easier to not get angry and upset with her because of the things that are because of the illness.  Also suggest that she talk to her Dr.....if she still is having lots of issues with it her meds could be tweaked a bit.  

One thing with that kind of thing is the people that we care the most about and so are around the most are the ones that stand the most chance of catching on the irritable moods.  I know my son is one that probably catches the most of mine and I feel horrid for it.  Though I got my Dr to up one of my meds and it greatly helped that.....is a very rare occurrence now.

And for anyone commenting on moodswings, no mood does not swing that fast with bipolar.  However she is not describing mood swings....she is describing  her friend reacting  either from distorted perseptions or irritable mood and then realizing she has done so.  That does happen.  I know when i over react with my son i feel bad as soon as I do, or if im manic and talking a lot i often say things and as soon as they come out of my mouth i wonder why the h**l i said that.  It is not mood swings, it is just a level of self awareness while in an episod.  Some people see no wrong in anything they do in episodes, some do.

Answer 4

Here's some down to earth advice: 1) understand your friend is battling a disease and has no control of the mood swings. 2) Firmly but with tact, be direct when this person is being verbally abusive, you can say things like "when you say that, I feel abused. I know you are having a difficult day, lets get together when you are feeling better and talk then"

3) Be encouraging whenever possible, and a good listener. 4) realize this person will have many bad days and it isn't about you so don't take it personal. 5) try to offer times for you to get together, and try to make it a regular thing. Learn about the disorder as much as possible. Realize they may say bad and hurtful things, spend large sums of money they may not have, may drink or use drugs. When these things occur you can not rescue them from their own actions and you should not bail them out, but do provide reassurance that you will still be a friend.

Answer 5

I am bipolar.  I am more incline to be empathetic to your friend because I know how difficult it is to have someone understand whats going on.  My wife still dosn't fully comprehend what it is like for me, but she is now more informed and understands that there is a problem with me that requires help.  You friend probably having a harder time dealer with herself being bipolar.

The one response that  suggested you get more information is a good one.  Become informed before you make a decision.

If you are a true friend, be there for her no matter what.  Be ready to listen.  Show your concern and love.  Avoid being judgmental.

I am assuming that your friend has been evaluated and diagnosed by a mental health professional since you said she is bipolar.  Or is her being bipolar just in your opinion?  An evaluation, diagnosis, and treatment by a professional is the only way that your friend can get some help and make improvement.   Don't make the mistake of putting your friend into a category without knowing what is really wrong.  

If your friend's condition is that serious and she is in denial or not seeking help from a doctor or counselor, there isn't a lot you can do except for what I have already told you:  Be a friend.  Listen with concern and understanding.  Avoid being judgmental.

If this isn't possible for you, the best thing for you to do is to  walk away.  You sound upset.  Don't let this cause personal problems for you.

God bless.  Go with the grace of God.

Answer 6

You've gotten some good advice from the ppl who are bipolar here.  The thing I wanted to add is that you can ask her how she want you to handle those times.  She's the best adviser you have.  She already knows that she swings.  When she's stable, it's fair to talk about it.  You shouldn't have to let her stomp on you.  That's no good for your ego or the relationship.  She can understand that.  At the same time, she may not recognize when she's starting to over-react.  You can also ask her directly if she wants you to help recognize those times.  A lot of ppl with bipolar learn to do this as we get older - sealing up immediate reactions so as not to hurt others and also knowing that the feelings might be overstated.  It's something that just takes time to learn.

Answer 7

We'll first of all.  Do you know what Irony is?  Bipolar and friend in the same sentence?  If he/she is not on medication, then there is nothing you can do but to let that person self-destruct.  If they won't take care of themselves, you cannot do it for them.  If they don't know they need medication, then maybe you need to speak to a parent to ask if they thing anything is unusual and that you are worried about him/her.  You have to be careful.  As you say, they go ballistic.

Answer 8

Read more about bipolar disorder and get some compassion.

http://www.dbsalliance.org

http://www.nami.org

Answer 9

Treat her the same way you treat any other friend who gets pissy--with love and support, or walk away for awhile if she gets abusive in any way. You can be firm and loving at the same time. By pissy I assume you mean irritable/angry/anxious???

Once she calms down, talk about it together.

Don't treat us as if we are from Mars!!!

Don't tip toe around us either, we don't want special treatment, that just another form of prejudice.

Good luck, I'm glad she has a friend!

Excuse me MMMCKIN, everyone needs friends, we don't abandon people with a biological brain illness, a disorder they did not ask for. How about those with cancer, a biological illness as well. Even with the best intent, medication and therapy, symptoms of the illness break through, do some research, don't talk out of your hiney!