Birthday Dinner from h**l, still pissed how do I get over it??

Question

My best friend was having a Birthday dinner at Barcelona, with about 15 people, however Barcelona messed up the reservation and we had to go somewhere else. There was a restaurant across the street from Barcelona that someone in the group suggested. Her boyfriend and her kept ordering tons of Tapas for everyone without even stopping to ask what everyone wanted.They just kept ordering without asking anyone if they wanted more. In addition to that 2 of her friends stopped by ate and never paid. So everyone ate tapas when the bill came it came out to $100 a person. My husband and I were really pissed because that is way out of or budget. My best friends sister began to cry because she had not brought enough money and felt embarrassed, My husband and I not wanting to be jerks paid or $200. I mentioned why didn't those guys who stopped by pay, my best friends boyfriend was like they are hard up so I told them they could eat some tapas for free.

Answer 1

because she thought that she was doing the right thing! just go and tell her that she is playong with your tummy!!!!!

Answer 2

why didn't any one put these tapa ordering fools in check? i can't believe no one was saying, hey! stop ordering for everyone! what the h**l are you doing?

and these people are the type of people that should be questioned whether or not they are the type of friends to have. wouldn't be in my circle of life. AND two of her friends stopped by without paying? wtf? did the tapa people pay for them or was it split on everyone elses check? you b/f boyfriend should have paid for this since he wants to feed the poor.

someone should have stopped them while it was happening. and how can you get over it? break something. send hate mail. how do you usually get over stuff? i don't really see anything that you can do that will make you feel better about it other then the passing of time.

Answer 3

cuz they werent concerned with you guys and what every had both tell her it affected you and she owes you$200 and what are tapas if you dont mind me asking

Answer 4

People that act that way are not friends.  They have no consideration for anyone else.  I would have just said, I didn't order it and paid for what I ordered and ate.  There are times to be flexible and there are times to stand up.  This was a time to make a point.  This is likely to happen again.  He thinks it is okay to take advantage of others and she is going to side with him in the end,  No matter how long you have been friends.

At this point, you need to tell her he owes you and your husband a portion of the money back as he should have at the very least included his loser friends in the division of the bill.  And then he should have paid their part if they are broke.  You didn't give birth to them, you aren't responsible to feed them.

If he won't pay, you need to invite him and her out to dinner order a bunch of food, you and your husband say you are going to the car because you have a surprise for them, and don't return.  They will get the point.

Answer 5

Well it's obviously too late now, but I think you should have told them that you were not paying $100 per person.  Although that's easier said than done.  I think they were rude and inconsiderate, and I don't blame you for being upset.   There isn't much you can do now, so try to put it behind you.  You don't want to ruin a friendship over it.

Answer 6

Look its okay everybody makes mistakes. Sometimes just joke around and say lets just go to Mc Donalds next time

Answer 7

Let me tell you my favorite story. We were invited to a friends b'day party at the infamous Tonga Room in the Fairmont Hotel in San Francisco. Nice, fancy dress-up place serving "Polynesian/Chinese" food with terrific drinks and live entertainment.

There were a total of 40 guests. We ordered and paid for our own drinks. When the pre-ordered dinner came, it was served family style. Help yourself to as much as you wanted. It was after dessert when we were told how much "our share" of the bill was. I think it came to around $65 per person (with tax & tip). We couldn't ask for the bill to be split so we could pay by credit card, because it was a party, so it was cash only.

We were lucky. We happened to have enough cash. Those who didn't also had to pay service fees to use the ATM in the hotel. What really ticked us off is that we had also spent money on a nice b'day present since we were invited to the party. But we got over it. Of course, we'll never go to dinner with them again! LOL.

In your case, you said that she's your best friend. It's okay to tell her nicely, that the dinner was out of your budget and in the future, you may have to celebrate her birthday privately to keep the costs down. This will avoid a repeat. The boyfriend should have covered the cost of the people who stopped by if he invited them. Hopefully your friend learned something from this fiasco.