Birthday Party Etiquette??

Question

Does this seem OK to you??

My niece, Sophie will be turning 5 on Monday...For the last week, her mother has been telling us that she wasn't going to have a party, primarily due to finances. Even though my wife and I offered to help with some of the expenses.

So my wife are sitting at home on Friday, checking our e-mail when we notice a message from Sophie's mother.

She decided to have a party on Sunday at The Amazing Pizza Machine(kind of like a expensive Chuck E. Cheese), and that she expected everyone to pay for their own food....At the bottom of the note there was a list of at least 30 items(none of which under $20) that she said her daughter wanted for her birthday.

Is it just me or does inviting someone to a birthday party last minute, asking all of your "guests" to pay for their own food at the party, and then adding a giftlist just seem wrong??

Don't get me wrong I love my niece and enjoy anytime I get to spend with her and already had plenty of gifts.

Answer 1

NO, it is NOT ok with me.  I assume that your niece probably kicked and screamed that she wanted to go to Amazing Pizza Machine, but so what???  Kids do that all the time.  As a parent she should start teaching her daughter the value of money.  That's why young people nowadays are selfish (not all of them are, but a lot of them are).  Their parents don't teach them correctly.  Even if you don't want to go I know that you will still go because you love your niece.  But then after the party is over you take the mother aside and express your opinion.  Don't do it during the party because it will ruin your mood.

Answer 2

That Mom is tacky on top of tacky.

Answer 3

Yes,it is rude.

Answer 4

It's wrong. Your have the prerogative not to attend or give any gifts.

Answer 5

Inviting anyone to dinner and then expecting them to pay is never appropriate.  Certainly adding a giftlist for a kid is positively inappropriate.  These folks are way out of line.  Given that you love them and probably want to share in the festivities, I would hazard a guess that you will be going.  But I would choose a gift that YOU think you want to give and chuck their gift list.  If you are close to them, you might want to suggest at a later date that what they did is not considered socially acceptable.

Answer 6

I can sorta see where the mother is coming from, to have each person pay their own way, but she should have chosen a more reasonably priced place to go.

And as for the gift list - thoughtless and tacky.

If that was me, I would eat before I went and not order anything, if questioned I would say 'unfortunately it's a little out of my price range' and I would DEFINATELY go out of my way to buy the girl a gift that was NOT on that list.

Answer 7

If it was me, I would not go, I would make an excuse, because that is really one of the most outrageous things I have ever heard. If you do go, bring one small gift that you pick out yourself and not on the list. These birthday parties and mothers who plan them are getting way out of control. The rudest thing is inviting guests to an expensive restaurant and expecting them not only to pay for their own meals but to buy gifts on a list. Just terrible. I see Sophie's mother found a way around her lack of finances by sticking it to all her guests. What she should have done was have a party at her home, and served sandwiches. This is a party for a five year old, not a coronation.