Question:

Birthday Poem Help?

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One of my best friend's 16th birthday is coming up, and one of the things i'm thinking of doing was writing her a poem and having it made into a keepsake. Anyway, i'm on my first draft of my poem, and it kinda sucks. It lacks depth and consistency. Any suggesstions?

Despite your struggles,

You have come so far.

Let your sixteen candles

Set the bar

For who you have become

and for who you will be

For the hardships you tackle

and for the challenges you face

Let your sixteen candles

Mark the place

Where you set new goals,

Dream new dreams,

and become the person that you want to be.

Through your journey,

I will be

Your support, a friend,

a sense of security.

Through good times and bad

You will see,

I will be there when you're in need.

Today is the day,

you are finally sixteen

So blow out those candles,

and cause a scene

Because only one day of the year

is truly yours

Your birthday my dear

A time for happiness galore

So here's to you,

And to many happy more.

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  1. i actually enjoyed that......wat a lucky friend

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

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