Birthday card was said to have money in it, but it didn't. Do I say anything?

Question

My husband picked up my birthday gift from his mom. He asked me how much money was in the card because she told him she "put a couple of bucks in it." I said, "None." Because when I opened the card, the envolope wasn't sealed, it was creased and wrinkled, looked like it had been through several hands, and it was signed by his mom and included his two sisters names, but not his third sister's name.

My husband thinks his third sister stole the money out of my card because she is a trouble maker and right now she is in and out of the house, living with her boyfriend, trying to become emancipated, and stirring up trouble between family members. She's 16 years old, always asks her mom for money and just lost her part time job.

What do you think? Did she steal it? Did his mom forget?

I don't care that she didn't give me money, but I think she either meant to, or she did and it was stolen!

Answer 1

Try to get your husband to gently inform his mother that, somehow, the card did not have any money in it by the time he picked it up.

Answer 2

call her and tell her thanks for the card (just play dumb about the money, dont mention it at all), then get your husband to mention something about the missing money when you aren't around.  That way you can still look grateful, and his mom can deal with his sister.

Answer 3

Yes, it' s better to be honest.

Answer 4

the best way to handle this is to tell your husband that there was no money in the envelope and let him mother know that you received the card and that he saw that no money was inside like she said.  Make the comment come from him so that it does not look like you were expecting it.  Hopefully, she just forgot and you don't have a family member that would steal from another,

Answer 5

Since your mother-in-law told your husband that there was money in the card, he should tell her that it wasn't there when you got it. He should mention the appearance of the card, that it looked like it was handled a lot. No reason to mention the third sister, your MIL'll figure it out. And then she'll know why you didn't thank her for the cash.

Answer 6

Regarding your last sentence please do not question receiving money as a married woman. Money is often given to all ages. The way you describe your mother in laws life, Im surprised she even had time for getting a card. Poor woman.

The thing is she THINKS you received money. I would call her and talk about how kind she was to remember you with the card.  Also that you feel awkward since your husband told you there was money in it but there was none. Then go on to say that she neednt send money but just her well wishes are much appreciated. Repeat its not about the money . IF SHE MENTIONED in the card about the money then you dont have to say your husband told you since she did( I wasnt clear if she mentioned inthe card) She needs to know. Would your husband be open to going into more detail about it like how the envelope was not sealed and it was creased, etc? I hope so since then  you could have him standing by the phone when you call and say ' Here, ( my husband s name) will tell you more about it.  If your husband is not open to doing this then you decide for yourself. Either you lie and thank her or you tell the truth. But do not make yourself look bad in her eyes by not acknowledging it in some way or the reverberations will make you look worse than her daughter

Answer 7

Why don't you call her and thank her for the card. Hopefully she will mention the money and you can then let her know that you didn't receive any money.  

The sister sure sounds guilty, but his mom could have forgotten too. Good luck with it.

Answer 8

Not knowing your age, it is a little bit difficult to answer.   Knowing what I know about society, the 16 year old girl is definitely having issues, most of which she probably brings on herself.  If your husband's mom stated that she put money in the card, and you know her intentions were there, then a simple "thank you" for the card is enough.  I wouldn't even mention the money.  It sounds like your sister-in-law needs a major friend at this point, a mentor, a confidante.  If you know she is struggling, then one of the best things you could do for her is to take her out shopping, to the movies, or someplace special.  You never know, your kindness and "overlooking" of her devious persnality could be all she needs to change her life around.

There is always that second thought, maybe it was not her, but someone THINKS she may get blamed for it, so THEY took it! :-)  Anything you can do to make that sister feel more special in life, trust me, it will CHANGE her life forever.  Too many teens have "judgment" passed on them, and many are simply misunderstood.  Ever felt that way yourself?  I know I did! I hope this helps.