Birthday party. should I have one or not?

Question

I am a mom of a two month old and a soon to be two year old. My husband works a lot and can not help me to prepare for birthday party or help with house cleaning. I have a bad back from my c section and I am very tired due to anemia. I have a large house to clean for party... MIL and mother want to invite guests but I cannot prepare for party while I watch two kids and clean the house in my condition. What should I do, have the party, cancel party, just insists on no guests?

I am really at a loss what to do as I do not feel well and no one wants to help but everyone wants to party?

ADVISE PLEASE

Answer 1

I don't see any need to throw a big party if you're not up to it.  In my opinion it should be understood that you're a new mom. The party's for the two year old not other people.  The best thing you could do if you want my opinion is to just get your two year old a cake and a few gifts from the money you would have spent on the party.  My guess is he/she will be perfectly content and not know the difference.

Answer 2

Wait till you and your new baby are feeling better. Your two year old will not notice if you do not have is birthday party on the day or near the day of his birthday. Why not wait a month or two to have it. Everyone will understand your reason to wanting to wait till you and your baby are feeling better. This way you will be able to enjoy the party too.

Answer 3

Talk to MIL and mother about how things are.  If they want a party I would think they would gladly help out.  If not get a babysitter for the two kids while you clean the house.

Answer 4

I have similar situations with the mother/MIL also complain about the house and do not help at all.

Do not have it at your house, its too much work for you, and they will walk all over you.  Have it at a park, restaurant, zoo, beach, or do it privately unless mother/MIL will have it at their house.  Insisting on no guests, my thought is that they will invite whomever anyway.

Be strict about the baby.  Instruct everyone, not to kiss or handle the baby.  The newborn's immune system is your immune system for the first several months even without breastfeeding and the baby is being breastfed so there is some protection.  I have found that if the baby is in something like a pram stroller and you have a receiving blanket draped over part of the stroller people will not disturb the baby.  My mother/MIL were both offended by my not letting them touch the baby oh well.  I even went so far as to don a hospital mask and gloves in their presence so they got the point, and I felt this discouraged them from handling the baby since I didn't even do it without protection.

And if you choose not to have a party do not feel guilty about it at all, even if other responders try to make you feel obligated, or your mother/MIL tries to manipulate you into doing what they want.  A 2 yr old's party is about the adults not the child.

Answer 5

if you are not up to it then insist on not having it. if they want to have a party tell them to find a location and pay for it and plan it. dont stress yourself out more by doing something you're not up to. YOU come first. If you're not happy then the babies wont be happy :)

also with you MIL not like the pumping... tell her to look the opposite way if she doesnt like it. It's your house and you should be able to feel comfy in your own house.

hope this helps!

Answer 6

I would say order pizza to a local park and let the kids play on the equipment there.  Pizza is cheap, the park is probably free, and then there is no cleaning.  The mothers are going to invite people anyway, so let them do it.  Make the party have an end time, like 11-1, and stick to it.  That way you can get to the car or get home for the next pumping.  Also, don't open gifts while at the party, it takes up too much time and the kids end up not understanding at that young age.  You can keep the little one close to you and nap in a stroller if needed.  Just have the gift loaded into the car and open them at your leisure.  Pizza, cake, play equipment, what more can a kid want?

It's about the kids having fun.

Answer 7

Ask mom and MIL to help clean up before and after the party.  If they won't, have the party anyway, and just don't worry about it - obviously your guests will realize that you have your hands full with a new baby.  Besides, no one will likely notice and/or care how clean or messy or whatever your house is.  Don't let your 2 year old miss out on a birthday party.  Just relax, don't stress the little things, and have fun!

Answer 8

you could say please help with the cleaning or else i WILL NOT have the party. or you cauld always hire a cleaning service