Bit lost, need a new direction...

Question

Nice confusing title but currently very unsure what to do with my life. Up until a year ago I was in a happy relationship (of 5 years) but that was ended as I didnt want to move to New Zealand and start a new life with my ex.

Main reason was I suffer from anxiety/panic attacks and new home/job plus no family/friends would have caused severe health problems and be a real setback for me.

I'm now living back at my parents, gonna be 26 in September, still single and seeing a counsellor every week trying to sort out all my baggage (panic/anxiety/anger/depression).

I'd quite like to move out with friends but they are already either living with friends/partners and the thought of living with strangers is quite daunting (did it at uni and didn't really enjoy it).

As for work i enjoy what I do (online marketing) but feel i get taken for granted and as such quite often feel angry and stressed.

So, overall i'm just living each day as it comes but generally feel very down and lonely and with my 26th birthday coming up feeling like i've acheived nothing in my life since im back at square one, any ideas on what I could do to start improving things or where to start?

Answer 1

Have you tried going back to school? Take some collage classes even if they are not for a degree just so you can get out and meet new people. Maybe find an affordable efficiency and move out of your parents home. Join a club or maybe attend the local Unitarian Universalist church, they welcome all religions and don't judge. I think the best thing would be to find someplace you can volunteer. My husband is a disabled veteran and he was all depressed and existing but not living until I forced him to volunteer in the church social hall. Now he feels he's contributing and has more self worth, the change is wonderful. Try the local library, food bank, or even the animal shelter, they could always use help. Taking care of others is always the best way to stop thinking of your own troubles.

Answer 2

I know how you feel about the anxiety... I just moved back with my mother because I was sad and stressed about having no friends where my bf and I were living.  I'm a stay at home mom so it's hard to make friends... but what I've found that helps is when My bf of 4 years and I split up I just went out with my friends and had fun.  Take a trip or something, go out and buy yourself a new outfit, hair style, all that.  Just don't think about the bad... 26 is NOT old, you have TONS of time to find "the one" and all that.  Just try to find yourself a nice place to live, if you have alot of friends, go out with them! have fun! life is too short to be feeling like this.  And take it from me... being depressed SUCKS.  enjoy it... go to a bar... meet people...

Answer 3

Well first of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! (for when it is)

secoundly, achived nouthing?? you sound amazing to me, know wonder your so stressed it seems to me you havn't had time to enjoy your life and slow down abit. Life is always in a hurry these days.

I have so much reaspect for you! you went to uni?? thats amazing!! what an achivment! you really need to concerntrate on the positive in your life and thats defantly a masive one!! and as for work, that sounds excting!! and unfortunatly most jobs do take you for granted! big pain in the arss!! is there any higher ups you could talk to about this??

you are still extremly young, and have everything going for you, commiting isn't a must right now, your so young try and enjoy it!!

I know how you feel in a way, i am only 17 i have recently been diagnosed with M.E and i have had to quite my job and college. Everyone is getting on with there lives and getting someware, and then i'm at home sitting on my bum "waiting" to get better!!

So i understand in a way, i'm always hear if you want to talk!!

Seems to me try concertrating on time to enjoy your life and do things YOU want to do, don't feel pushed to hurry!!

Hope i helped a little bit!

Love

Hannah

Answer 4

It seems as if a collection of a few things possibly :

   1. Grief over the end of a 5 year relationship (It's tougher then it seems)

   2. Fear of change possibly, but I don't think so.

   3. I know the feeling with the wanting to move out with friends, that's what I want to do. but my friends are all across the country now.

   4. Maybe you should look into other careers, Don't just settle for something and do it until you die, maybe you want to be a doctor or an IT Manager / etc. Go out there and check out some places, I'll give you a site to s***w around with in my sources.

   5. Square one is a good place to be, you can re-fresh your life and get to doing something you really want to be doing.

Answer 5

GROW UP!  The fact that you have done nothing but sit on your butt all day and feel sorry for yourself is disgusting. You have to help yourself. No one is going to make your life better but yourself. No one has control of how you respond to life's troubles but yourself. No one is to blame for the kind of person you have become but yourself.    You You You.

If you blame others for your failures, do you credit them with your success?

Blame is a lazy man's wages.

To find a fault is easy; to do better may be difficult.

Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure.

Excuses are the tools with which persons with no purpose in view build for themselves great monuments of nothing.