Black anoretic?

Question

I have a friend from the Bahamas who lives in the States. She is constantly catcalled, and she thinks by controlling her weight ("not having an @ss because that's what a lot of them like" as she says) makes it less severe.

Does anyone have any information I can give her related to what she is going through?

Answer 1

ok first of all i think you're referring to the term anorexic?

second, i don't know what cat called is.

third, she should be happy with her body, tell her she shouldn't need to change herself for other people, that she is already beautiful.

as for the rest of your question, i just couldn't understand.

Answer 2

There are a lot of online forums/support groups on the internet for this sort of thing but unfortunately it is not productive as many girls go here to get trade secrets as to how to effectively "control" their weight. Her problem though sounds a lot less severe than what an anorexic or any eating disorder experiences. Usually it is done, not in response to body image issues but a sense of being overwhelmed in their lives and eating is the only thing they can control. I know because I did it.

Answer 3

I read about something similar to this several years ago.  A woman was raped when she was young.  Naively thinking that being "fat and unattractive" would protect her from being raped again, she started to gain weight.  She ballooned to almost 300 pounds.  It was a way to have a form of control.  Please tell your friend that if she is having these feelings she needs to speak to a doctor or counselor right away before this gets out of control.

Answer 4

google it and print it. or write it.

Answer 5

Boo hoo, members of the opposite s*x let me know that they find me attractive.

Tell her anorexia will not solve this "problem," it will only make her very unhealthy and cause her to get very sick.

Answer 6

Well, since I'm a "sista", I guess I can give her some insight. Please tell her that there nothing she can do about her body. Most Black and Latino women have @$$. And there's nothing wrong with it. I'm not saying that women of other races don't (because everyone has a butt), but that's what most women of color are known for. I used to be ashamed of mine because it seemed like that was all people would remember me by (and some still do). Even when I talk to old Navy friends on line, the only response I get is "The girl with the big booty!" Tell her that its not going to change. The only thing she can do is accept it and not let it get the best of her. Men of all races have made comments about my rear end, and most of the time I act like I don't hear them. Because I know they're just looking a response from me to act upon. I can recall a time where a guy scared the h**l out of me in a mover theater. He kept yelling "God d@m she's got a fat @$$". I wanted to run and hide because all eyes was on me. Embarrassed, I shook it off, grabbed my popcorn and said "I know" and walked into the theater. Even though I was bothered by his outburst, it just made me feel better to know that it's something that he would never have. Tell her don't worry about it. The older she get's the easier it will be to deal with it.

Answer 7

It's considered a form of mental illness.

It's often fatal, always misery producing.

But it CAN be overcome with a doctor's help.

I've seen it happen several times now.

There's nothing more unfair for a girl to have her control taken from her as a child, and then have to be an adult who's getting ripped off then too, by being all twisted up over it.

So when the annorehxic decides FOR HERSELF that it isn't fair, then SHE will want the help, and that's when it can help her. When she wants it. When she sees her life as bad, but fixable.

So she grabs the lifeline.

I cant stress enough that SHE has to want it (she feels she has no control, remember - so trying to "get her to" seek help is just violating that sense, and she wont go along. Probably eat even less the more you try to counter her.

She HAS to maintain a sense of being the one who's in control.

I'd suggest LISTEN. Start her to talkiing, and just every once in a while say a sentence or two back that merely repeats what she's been saying (so she knows youre listening, hearing her)(she'll experience this as 'agreeal' too - which she so needs) and you just let her talk and talk and talk till finally she'll come out with the answer herself (Because oh it IS in there!)

And when she has come up with the idea that her life might be fixed, and she should try, and it's worth it,  well then that's HER seeing it that way - and thats when she can be helped by the doctor.

What I've described is a technique called "reflective listening".

It's really the only way to approach her.

Because it's GOTTA be her idea to do anything.Or she just won't.