Blame the Agencies and the System?

Question

What about the dollars that fuel the unregulated system of adoption? Where are those dollars coming from?

Answer 1

I am going out on a limb with this one, so I hope I don't offend anyone, but I believe that in addition to the agencies & system, the blame lies with society in general, not necessarily the PAPs.  Before we were approached about adoption, we only knew what others had told us.  We had no idea how difficult and corrupt the system could be.  We fortunately had a great agency work with us, but not all people are that lucky.  I believe that if we as a society work to educate each other more, there would be less "solicitation" by PAPs because they would understand.

Answer 2

I'll just take a wild guess here, but...hmmmm....

Adopters?

Answer 3

If I'm reading correctly, you seem to be implying that instead of just blaming the agency or system, we should be putting most blame on the adoptive parents themselves because they create the demand.  If I read that wrong, then I apologize.  

I'd like to say that adoptive parents shouldn't be so villified here.  Some on here act as if all adoptive parents are these baby-hungry, self-absorbed people who only care about fulfilling their own selfish need for a child and care nothing about anything else.  This is a false generalization and one that seems to pervade this site.

Would the world be a better place if all adoptive parents just went away?  I hate to say it but even if that happened, there would still exist SOME birth mothers who simply....for whatever reason....can't or don't want to care for the children they have.  It's just reality.  It might console some adoptees to try and think of all birth mothers as these naive young women who are pushed into giving up their child by some evil, evil adoption agency.  That would make them feel better, right?  That they weren't given away because their mother really wanted to but instead because they were FORCED to....so this fulfills any abandonment issues.  Hey, my mom really DID want me!  But the sad truth is, there ARE some birth mothers who do not want their child period.....and it has nothing to do with anyone persuading them of anything.  And before I hear it, note that I DO understand and believe there ARE young birth mothers that are persuaded to give up their child.  I just presented the other side too that there are birth mothers who aren't persuaded but who just don't want the child period.  It's hard to think that your own mother just didn't want you but sadly, that's the case sometimes.  

My point is that if you want to blame the adoptive parents, fine.  But even if they went away, you'd still have some birth mothers who wouldn't have nowhere to put the child they don't want except an orphanage.  So, which is better?  To have an unwanted child live in a group home or live in a loving home where they'll get attention & love?

Answer 4

Gawrsh, could it be....here?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...