Blonde Joke or Any Joke ... i want to laugh? I love Jokes! :)

Question

I prefer blonde jokes cause it reminds me of me. But im not stupid cause im blonde. My classmates find that out when the teacher explains something and no one gets it but me then i laugh and answer correctly and they hide their faces. So any jokes but sometimes their just to funny for me "the blonde" to get them. LOL :) :) Any?

Answer 1

5 Blondes walk into a bar.............................. you think one of 'em would've seen it :)

A dyslexic man walked into a Bra..........

Answer 2

This in one of my faves. Hope you like it!

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night hes doing a show in a small town.With his dummy on his knee ,hes going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman stands up on her chair and starts shouting ,i,ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes.

What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?

Whats the colour of a persons hair to do with her worth as a human being?

Its guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and reaching our full potential as a person,because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women in general and all in the name of humor!

The man is embarrassed and begins to apologize ,when the blonde yells,

You stay out of this mister,i,m talking to the little jerk on your knee!

Answer 3

My blonde friend called Dana, who i call Dumb Dana walked into a pole once, and tripped over a cordless phone. And she even admitted she has an ancient face. LoL!!! This is true.

Answer 4

How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree. ^_^

Answer 5

Here's one of my favourites. I'm sorry for anyone who got offended by this joke.

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down a level except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

"That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more." So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,312 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love s*x.

The second floor has wives that love s*x and have money.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited

Hope you enjoyed it. Tell me if you want more, i have plenty!

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Here's another one for you all:

Women Vs Man

RELATIONSHIPS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need just because its on sale.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man,

you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman,

you must love her a lot and not try understand her at all.

MEMORY

Any married man should forget his mistakes,

there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

APPEARANCE

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

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And another...i hope you like them all.

9 THINGS I HATE ABOUT EVERYONE:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time...I know where my watch is pal, Do I point at my crotch when I ask YOU where the toilet is?





2. People who are willing to get off their *** to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.



3. When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. d**n right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?



4. When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the h**l would you keep looking after you've found it?



5. When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the d**n floor.



6. People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.



8. When people say 'life is short'. What the h**l?? Life is the longest d**n thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?



9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

Hope you enjoyed them. Email me for more, i have plenty.

Answer 6

so and blonde and her boyfriend are driving in the car, they get in a fight so he has her get out of the car

he draws a circle in the ground and tells her not to step out of the circle, he turns arounds, then the girl started laughing.

he turns back around and asks her whats so funny, but she keeps laughing, so he smashes her windshield.

when he turns a back around the blonde is on the ground laughing. the guy gets really mad so he slashes all her tires.

he turns back again and the blonde can barely breathe casue she laughing so hard. so the guy goes and breakes all her windows. when he turns back around the girl has tears in her eyes because she was laughing so hard. so he yells "what is so funny." she tells him "everytime you turned around, i stepped out of the circle!" then starts laughing again.

Answer 7

How do you make a blonde laugh on a Wednesday?  ... Tell her a joke on a Monday!  

Answer 8

Why did the blonde cross the road?

Cause she didn't know where she was going...

Why did the blonde talk to another blonde?

Cause she thought she was looking in the mirror...

Why did the blonde take shop class?

Cause she thought it was a shopping class...

Why did the blonde start laughing?

Cause she just got the joke that was told five minutes ago...

Answer 9

A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

(if u dont get it. whether if the guy cut it in 6 or twelve peices the pizza would be the same size. just a diff. number in SLICES!!!)

Answer 10

a blonde was walking down the road when she comes across another girl in the middle of the road; she was jumping from one side of the dotted line to the other saying "2,2,2,2..." the blonde was curious so she asked "what are you doing?"

the other girl stops and replies, "oh, its a new game i made up. you jump from one side of the line to the other and say 2"

"cool! can i try?" the blonde walks out into the middle of the road

"sure" the other girl switches spots with the blonde and goes to the side of the road.

the blonde begins to jump and says "2,2,2,2," just then a semi truck comes flying by...BLAM! the blonde gets run over to fast to see it coming.

the other girl sighs and walks back out into the middle of the road and jumps from one side of the dotted line to the other saying "3,3,3,3...."

Answer 11

one day a blonde was at a store where they sold curtains. She asked an employee to help her find a perfect set of pink ones. He showed her ones with designs, ones with lace, but none of them seemed right. Finally she found the one she wanted.

"What length do you want them at, miss?" The employee asked.

"4 inches." the blonde replied

"Why do you want only 4 inches???" The employee asked

"For my desktop" the blonde replied

"Desktops don't NEED curtains!" Replied the employee

The blonde sighed and rolled her eyes and said

"HELLOOOO i have windows!"

Answer 12

Jenny's friend Debbie was at work complaining about a sore throat. "When I have that I always give my husband a ******** and next day I am better. You should try it" says Jenny. Next day Debbie comes in to work singing. "How did it go?" enquires Jenny. "Brilliant' says Debbie 'your husband couldn't believe it was your idea....!