1. This fat guy sees an ad for a new gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg. They strip him and lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and ladders and tell him to wait a minute. He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and out steps a gorgeous blonde, stark naked, with a sign saying "If you catch me, I'm yours." He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed. Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there. And just as he's about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes the management who lead him to the showers, and then weigh him. Sure enough, he lost exactly 5 kg. He's back on the street and starts to think. "Jesus, I was so close to catching her. If I had a little more time..." So he races back to the gym and says, "I want to lose 20 more kg." "No problem," says the manager. Again he strips, and is led to the large gym. This time he's standing by the door when it opens. Out comes a gorilla with a sign "If I catch you, you're mine".
2. Their are two blondes working at a company together. The rest
are redheads and brunettes. One day a blonde came in and
started yelling "I'm a light, I'm a light!" The boss went over
to her and and told her that if she yelled that again she would
get fired. So the next day the blonde came in yelling "I'm a
light, I'm a light!" The boss went over too her and told her
that she was fired. So she started to pack her bags and her
other blonde friend was packing her bags too. The boss went
over to her and said "Why are you packing your bags I fired
your friend not you?" "I know", said the blonde "but how am I
supposed to work without a light?"
3. There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror. If you told a lie it would suck you in. One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in. The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in. Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.
Im not trying to offend anybody!Lol
Heres the link to my other Jokes. A Little Dirty
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AglSwpGcZ0UmBEor9VAVsMDsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080824114540AAdpXvc
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