Body Dysmorphic Disorder?

Question

Ever since, I would say the fourth grade I've had low self esteem. I would look at the pretty, popular girls in my grade and be jealous of their beauty. I was a late bloomer so in middle school people would make fun of me for not having any b***s, or a butt. I would be self conscious every single day, I felt ugly, unloved and unwanted.

To this day I am still unsatisfied with what I see in the mirror. Last year I convinced myself that I was fat and for months I would constantly make myself starve and throw up so I could be thinner, and make my cheeks look thinner as well.

Everyone always tells me I am gorgeous, beautiful, pretty, cute, but I don't believe them. I always deny deny and deny. I say thank you but in the back of my mind I don't know WHAT people see in me. At times I've had people think that I am conceited and s****. for always looking in the mirror. For always fixing my makeup, hair, and making sure I look "okay".

I've known about BDD for about two years now, and it's something that doesn't seem real to me but in reality it does affect a lot of people.

So my question here is who else is suffering from BDD, have you had any treatment, what helps you cope or make you worry less about the way you look.

I wish I could get help but at the same time I don't want any.

♥

Answer 1

I do feel for you as I think I suffer from it too

You just seem to carry on and the older you get it tends to get a little easier but it doesn't go away.I wish I had the courage to get it sorted out.When you say-( I wish I could get help but at the same time I don't want any)-I know exactly what you mean .

Answer 2

I think your problem is that you still feel like the same person you were in 4th grade. you don't feel like you've grown up. it's like when overweight or obese people lose weight. it takes them a long time to see themselves as not overweight or obese. you sound oto me like you have pefectionsit tendecies which arrives from the need to be someone else that your weren't in your younger years. All you remeber is the negative and not the postive of yourself as a child.

Answer 3

It's funny, how people can attack another person, make fun of them,...put them down and give them a horrible complex about themselves,and then a doctor comes along and says that YOU have the mental problem...sheesh...I am sure that you have been conditioned to think otherwise about yourself...I know the feeling, as I was always compared to anyone ugly when i was growing up, Alice the goon,..Little lord Fauntleroy, etc...and although made in jest, it gave me a horrible lasting bad self impression of myself. You just need to be sure that you learn how to ignore the bad things about yourself you see...do you have a photo of yourself? You don't have a disorder, it sounds like someone made you feel bad in your early days. If you feel that you would like to talk to a therapist,as I do Not believe you need med's for this, then so be it...life is to short to worry about things so vain, to be honest.

Answer 4

I am actualy diagnosed with BDD. For me it was always one thing, always different things about me that I would obsess over. You know its BDD... if you are so preoccupied with somehing about your appearance that it completely takes over your life. For me, I was failing school, my family relationship was suffering, i lost alot of my friends, i had no interest in what other kids my age did.... all I had was the obsession.

Answer 5

Well, a few symptoms of BDD are very low self esteem and an experienced ED at some point of life.  Which it sounds like you've had.  Plus, a dissatisfaction with what you see in the mirror and always being unconvinced of your personal beauty.  You're not vain, honey, I get called the same thing:(  I'm just EXTREMELY worried.  This is a rare mental illness but a mental illness nevertheless, and you need a doctor to help you see yourself as you are, and can help you like what you see.  I have these same problems.  I am undiagnosed with BDD, but meet all the criteria of it.  For instance, do you have like one feature that you don't like, but is unnoticeable to everyone else?  That's another symptom.  For instance, my nose isn't as long or wide as I'd like, and I HATE it!!!  I constantly focus on my facial shape, my nose, my chin/neck, etc...

Did you never get medical help for your Eating Disorder?  I find it amazing you just "got over it by yourself"!  This BDD you have will not just go away.  You'll soon discover that it comes and goes in bouts, even if you DO get treatment.  But a psychiatrist will make your bouts of misery about your looks come less and less often, until it's just a faint shadow of the misery you once felt about yourself.  

It also helps to talk about how you feel.  Are you close to your mom or dad?  Any good friends?  Say, "I'm NOT vain, I'm just SO worried about how I look, and get real depressed about it sometimes."  Then look up Body Dysmorphic Disorder on a website or Google it and show them the criteria you meet for it.  Ask them if you can get help.  If it doesn't work, KEEP PERSISTING until you get what you NEED.  The doctor may get you into cognitive and behavioural therapy and may give you antidepressants as well.  

Answer 6

if you don't want help then why are you asking?

Answer 7

You do not have Body Dysmorphic Disorder. BDD is where you have continuous surgery to try to make your inner conception of self and outer conception of self match, until you wind up mutilating yourself. Michael Jackson likely has BDD. Many people with BDD even perform surgery on themselves.

What you have is low self esteem and eating issues.

Answer 8

Hang in there!

BDD is a form of anxiety, and you can take medication for it.

I'd suggest going to a Doctor and trying out medication for a while. Dont stay on it forever, just start off to get you over the first hurdle.

You need to break habits, and teach yourself to think in a totally different way. But its possible, and i think you can do it.

The main thing is to start trying as soon as possible. The older you are, the harder it is to change anxiety problems.

Good luck !

Cassie T- Thats not what BDD is. A person can have it without ever having surgery, its just common for that to be a symptom