Books about adoptions reversing?

Question

I have a need for some books. My son is 5 and we adopted a baby. The baby will be going back with his parents in the next couple months. My son is having a very difficult time dealing with it. I'm hoping there are some children's books out there that can help him out. Does anyone know of any children's books dealing with this topic or that might help him?

Answer 1

I think Eve says it best.  I doubt a book will accurately address the specific issues that your son will need to deal with.

Answer 2

I am so sorry for your loss, for you and your son.  I think Eve said it better than I could, so I'll just echo her advice.  Counseling, and a good one.

Edit: oh yes, God forbid that anyone show some compassion for the adoptive family in an adoption reversal.

Answer 3

This could serve as a cautionary tale for other potential adoptive parents.  Since the adoption was not final, he was not legally yours to begin with, so your child was set up.

This should have been dealt with like a visit, and maybe your child would not have been so saddened by this child leaving to be with his family.  Children are adaptable.  He will be fine.  This is really a time of celebration, why not position it that way.

Answer 4

So sorry to see it has been reversed.. This Happened to my niece after adopting a new born boy and having him 6 months. (Calif)

But she watched the mother after she took the boy back, all the time knowing that she might possibly get him back and eventually the mom could not take care of him and she was able to adobt him... He is now 6 yrs old..

Its got to be hard on all of you but children will adjust better than you will.. Why not coordinate the baby leaving with a new puppy?  

Books may be out there but my niece had two other children and this is what she did and it did help.

good luck to you.

Answer 5

I don't know of a book about an adoption being reversed. I also highly recommend that you take your son to a therapist to get him some professional help in dealing with this issue in his life. Chances are that your son assumed this baby would be yours forever and that he would be a sibling to your son. Now he is being told that it is not the case and this baby is being taken out of his life. Chances are your son will be afraid himself that he also may be "given back" if he doesn't measure up for some reason. I am not implying that you think this -- it is all unconscious but, there nonetheless. Infact, children are so naturally and unavoidably self centered that your son probably assumes that it is ultimately his fault that this baby is being taken away. Children just naturally think the world revolves around them (for good or bad) and therefore he probably has made up a story to himself that blames him for losing the baby.

Your son really deserves some help in dealing with this issue. There are good therapists out there and there are definitely some bad ones or useless ones too. But there are also some truly excellent therapists who can make a world of difference to a child dealing with a difficult situation. Find someone you feel comfortable with and whom you respect and think is capable of understanding and relating well to your son.

I assume this is a loss for you as well. Remember that you will be grieving too and you need to consider your own feelings in dealing with this and be able to separate those from what your son is feeling. Give yoruself time and space to grieve.

I am sorry for your loss.

Answer 6

I have no book titles for you just much sadness for your family. I think eve may have suggested something worth checking out. Counseling may be a good way to go. Best of luck to you.