Borderline Personality Disorder???

Question

Have you or someone you love beaten BPD my wife is in the hospital now after a suicide attempt and I am loosing hope she will get better? I LOVE her very much. We have a 2 year old and a 4 year old. I don't want them to have the same problem.

Answer 1

I have BPD, and a two year old.  She is very lucky to have a supportive husband.  I have a very supportive hubby, and I know my behavior was tearing him apart.  

It took me many years to accept that I am in control of my behavior.  I had problems with not being validated from my family (Growing up and even as an adult).  I had to come to terms that I can only control my actions and not theirs.  

I found a wonderful therapist, and he helped me see many things. I hope your wife can see how lucky she is to have a supportive husband, and be grateful for her children.  One of the reasons I made a decision to change was because I did not want my daughter to have the same problems.

Have you discussed your feelings with her?

Answer 2

I am in treatment for borderline but many people have beaten it.  Sometimes it takes many many years.

Have you ever read "Get me out of here: my recovery from borderline personality disorder" by Rachel Reiland??  Its the real life story of a wife and mother with BPD and how she overcame it.

A little advice, though I know its tough for you, do try to understand what she is going through.  Don't blame her or tell her she acts the way she does to "get off" on it.  She isn't doing that.  Dialectal Behavior Therapy and medication has worked wonders for me.

Oh yes-- for yourself you may want to buy the book "Stop Walking on Eggshells: How to take back your life when someone you love has Borderline Personality Disorder"

Answer 3

I had BPD, and, although I didn't meet but 5 of the 9 criteria, it still affected every part of my life for many, many years.  I took DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy last year and it changed my life completely.  I no longer meet the criteria for a diagnosis of BPD, so in that sense I would say I "got over it".  The thing to remember is that there IS a physical reason that causes the skewed thinking in this disorder, and it doesn't go away, so a person who "gets over it" may manage it well, but their mind will always have a tendency to go in those channels.  It's a matter of building coping skills so that you intercept those thoughts before you act on them.  I wish you the best of luck.  Remember that environment has a lot to do with triggering this disorder, so even if your children have the brain abnormality, avoidance of abuse (of any type- mental, physical, sexual, verbal) will help them to stay well emotionally.

Answer 4

She doesnt know how lucky she is to have a husband that loves her as much as you, and two beautiful kids.

In hospital she will get the help she needs...

I dont know the chances of genetic transfer of BPD, but witnessing their mom trying to kill herself is VERY damaging. (they will pick up on whats going on) She had to snap out of it.

Answer 5

Hopefully your wife will get the help she needs. You should look up the story of the movie Girl Interrupted. its about a girl with borderline, and how she overcame it. i have hope for the recovery of your wife. good luck

Answer 6

Unfortunately, BPD is tough and the person who is affected by it needs to want help and work on the issues themselves. Too often, they will deny that they have issues or mask themselves behind it and blame others.

Some resources:

http://www.bpdfamily.com/

http://www.bpdcentral.com