Bored and wanna Laugh...HELP Easy 10 Points!!!?

Question

Hey everyone! I am bored at work and really just wanna be able to laugh! Say something funny or tell a funny joke that you know, and the one that makes me laugh will get an automatic Best answer for the 10 points!!! Its that easy!!! :-)

Answer 1

Well, here goes. don't know how much you will appreciate it, as it is from a cricket genre, and not a joke, but true incident. but still funny, nevertheless.

"Bomber" Wells, a spin bowler and great character,

played for Glocuestershire and Nottinghamshire. He

used to bat at No.11 since one

couldn't bat any lower. Of him, they used to

paraphrase Compton's famous words describing an

equally inept runner; "When he shouts 'YES' for a run,

it is merely the basis for further negotiations!"

Incidentally, Compton was no better.

John Warr said, of Compton "He was the only person who

would call you for a run and wish you luck at the same

time." Anyway, when Wells played for Gloucs, he had an

equally horrendous runner as the No.10. During a

county match, horror of horrors.......both got

injured.

Both opted for runners when it was their turn to

bat.

Bomber played a ball on the off, called for a run,

forgot he had a runner and ran himself. Ditto at the

other end. In the melee, someone decided that a second

run was on. Now we had all four running. Due to the

confusion and constant shouts of "YES" "NO",

eventually, *all* of them ran to the same end.

Note - at this point in time, the entire ground is

rolling on the floor laughing their behinds out. One

of the fielders - brave lad - stops laughing for a

minute, picks the ball and throws down the wicket at

the other end. Umpire Alec Skelding looks very

seriously at the four and calmly informs them "One of

you buggers is out. I don't know which. You decide

and inform the bloody scorers!".

Answer 2

One day there was a captain of an English ship fighting a pirate ship.

The captain said to the first mate, 'Go get me my red t-shirt'.

The first mate went off and came back with the captains red t-shirt.

'Why did you need your red t-shirt?' the first man asked.

"It is so if i get shot my men won't know and they will keep on fighting"

"Very noble of you sir" answered the first mate.

Just as he answered a fleet of 10 more pirate ships came over the horizon.

The captain said to his first mate

"Go get me my brown shorts"

=)

Answer 3

Well here I go. :P

1st person: Are you sure?

2nd person: I'm positive.

1st person: Only fools are positive.

2nd person: Are you sure?

1st person: I'm positive.

And here I go again. :D

How may i help you?'

'We'll be asking the questions old man. Who are you?'

'Yu.'

'No not me. You!'

'Yes. I'm Yu.'

'Just answer the d**n questions; who are you?'

'I have told you.'

'Are you deaf?'

'No, Yu is blind.'

'I'm not blind, you blind.'

'That is what I just said.'

'You just said what?'

'I did not say what, I said Yu.'

'Thats what I'm asking you!'

'And Yu is answering.'

'SHUT UP!'

'You!'

'Yes?'

'Not you, him!, -turns around- what is your name?'

'Mi.'

'Yes you!'

'I am Mi'

'He's Mi, and I am Yu.'

'And about to whip your old *** man, cause I am sick of playing games!'

'YOU, ME, EVERYBODY'S *** AROUND HERE, HIM!'

:P

'Which is why I sometimes eat a freaking cheeseburger with a knife and dork.' <--- From real life experience. xP

...

And off I go. o.o

Answer 4

A TRUCK WAS PULLING ANOTHER TRUCK WITH THE HELP OF A ROPE

A BYPASSER SEES IT AND SAYS

" WHAT WILL HAPPEN OF THIS COUNTRY

2 TRUCKS TO CARRY ONE ROPE    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!   "

Answer 5

I had a doctors appointment yesterday, she listened to my heart and told me that I have to stop masturbating, when I asked her why, she replied, "becouse I am trying to examine you"