Both adopted child and relinquishing mother?

Question

is there anyone else out there who is both an adopted child and also a relinquishing mother if so i would love to hear from you as i feel so alone being both

Answer 1

I am adopted and it was one of the reasons that I felt okay with giving my first son up for adoption the pain was really REALLY difficult at first and I self medicated with alcohol. after about two years I was able to sober up and heal the right way, by dealing with the pain. I feel that I gave my son the best life that I could have at the time since I was going to be a single mother, and I still had a few issues to work out in mylife.  The biological father  had no qualms about signing over for an adoption either because I really don't think he cared about us at all he asked me to do it too but I didn't do it for him! I did it for the love of my son and the need to give him everything he needed including a father. I think that anyone who tries to make you feel bad about giving your child up for adoption needs to back of and realize that you made the best decision that you could at the time. I also decided to give my son up for adoption because I didn't want to have an abortion, but at the same time, I didn't feel ready to raise a boy into a man.

I am adopted and my parents are so great! they are awesome and one of the reasons I gave to  the adoption agency was, I want to give my child the chance that I got. I felt angry after the adoption sometimes when people would tell me "just wait pain gets better with time" because I didn't want to wait for healing I wanted the pain gone, but it definitely was true. The pain did heal with time. I hope that you know you aren't the only one!! stay strong!!

Answer 2

I am so sorry that you're going through this.

I am not surprised that you have followed the pattern though. Please seek counseling, this is too complicated an issue for anyone to discuss.

Being adopted, whether you had a good experience or bad, is something to deal with and has its own baggage. Then you throw in relinquishment.... I can't begin to imagine.

(((( hug ))))

Answer 3

http://www.cubirthparents.org/links.html

concerned united birthparents is the name of the organization-based out of san jose california-tons of online & other resources/fellow travellers there

i am not an adoptee, but i have placed my daughter with an adoptive family, and i have struggled with it for a long time

god bless u

Answer 4

well you are not alone, and you control your feelings, you did what was best and that is what a good parent does. get some counseling and see a doctor

Answer 5

I am.

I know it's hard being in 2 positions of the adoption triad. It's also easy for me to admit being an adoptee, yet very hard for me to speak of being a birth mother.

My twin daughters turned 16 February 4.... I liken it to a sentence... just 2 more years to go & then their free to choose to be a part of my life.

**** I recently joined www.adultadoptees.org & I really enjoy it, there's also one other mom that I know of thats in both positions on there.

Answer 6

You might also try

http://www.origins-usa.org

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org

The last site has evening chats with Joe Soll, an adoptee, and counselor who is very sympathetic to natural mothers.

xx