Both cheated, husband wants divorce but wife wants to hold marriage?

Question

husband says that its best each goes both ways but the wife now

realized how much she did love her husband should the wife let him go?

Answer 1

There is only hope if both people want a relationship to work.  If they truely love each other and want to be together they can get through anything. (from personal experience: 21 year marriage)

Answer 2

Wife wants to hold onto marriage most likely since her little fling fizzled out and his is still alive or he got a taste of what its like on the outside and wants his freedom.  Yes, best to go both ways, unless both are willing to let go of everything that happen, start over and seek marital counseling.  

Answer 3

You can't change his mind, only he can.

You should have both thought about it before you fukt around.

Answer 4

Interesting. I would love to be a fly on the wall in that house. Well maybe not a fly. How about a dog.

I don't think this can work. Clearly the marriage is so far gone both people are sleeping with others. I can't imagine how you could fix this marriage.

Good luck

Answer 5

In my opinionL people can agree til renegotiate the terms of their marriages as along as there is no alcoholism, drug use,  physical abuse. Anything else can be worked out professionally.

My ex cheated after 19 years of marriage behind my back and was not sleeping with me for more than a year. Yet, she got pregnant and I secretly discovered this during divorce when I went into her pocketbook and found medical proof and Xeroxed it. She had it

aborted.

With AIDS, STDs, Herpes, etc plus the cheat, and after the guy dumped her 6 months into the divorce she started, she telling me "would change", meaning me, when clearly it was she who was nuts, I finished the diovoprce refusing to stop it and have never looked back. I have refused to have anything to do wih ther since 1991, not even a word. My kids are grown now.

I am glad I had made that decision.

Answer 6

If one wants out it will be hard to keep it going.  No matter how hard the other tries sometimes it is a lost cause. Sadly.

Answer 7

there are few things that end a marriage, but betrayal is one of them.  If you need some statistics, only 20% of marriage with betrayal survive even 2 years, and that is with both in counseling, and both hoping to save it.  What you loved isn't what is there... and getting over the EEEWWWWWW factor just doesn't happen.  People stay together often perhaps because they cannot afford to divorce.  But the marriage is over.

The wife has no choice is letting him go or not.  We don't have slavery in this country.

I'd never suggest any marriage with betrayal stay together.  Stuff like that just doesn't heal.

Answer 8

Let him go from what you say sounds like the other woman must be hotter and better in bed or the husband wouldn't throw in the towel so easy , he wants the other woman or he has another woman the wife doesn't know about yet..

Hope things work out and each party is happy with their choice.

Answer 9

It takes two to make things work.  As long as he has his sights focused on moving on then there is nothing you can do.  Unfortunately he may not be able to see that both cheating is equal and he may instead realized he isn't in love any more.  All you can really do is respect their feelings, tell them you love them and you wish it could be different, and then start moving on.

Answer 10

Im sorry sweetie for me cheating is unacceptable. Its the weakest thing a human can do next to stealing and I dont tollerate it. You cant love him and do that at the same time. Move on and suffer the consiquences. Too bad

Answer 11

things can't have been that great for both of you to cheat.Are you clinging on to the good times?

If he wants out let him go ,do you want to be with someone by forcing them to stay? Move on maybe too much has happened to ever go back to the way you were and that is why he wants to leave.