Boyfriend, breakup, suicide >.< HELP!?

Question

I've been with my boyfriend for over an year and we're both in high school. Lately though he's been treating me like c**p though and when I say lately I mean the last 4 months. I've talked to him about it and it only makes a difference for 3 days. I feel horrible for even thinking about this, but I'm thinking of breaking up with him. The thing is.. he's mentioned in the past that he'd kill himself if he didn't have me to lean on. He's actaully attempted this a couple times before we got together. I have no clue what to do... I couldn't live with myself if I caused something like that. Please help

Answer 1

If you are truly unhappy with him, you shouldn&#039;t stay with him. Simple as that. Of corse you should let him down lightly and explain your reasoning. If you are seriously worried about him afterward, you could stay friends. Also, if you think he is serious about suicide, you should tell someone.

Answer 2

OH MY GOD

I can&#039;t tell you how scary that is.

If he really loves you, he&#039;ll accept your decisions.  tell him that you&#039;ll never leave his side if he feels down or suicidal but you can&#039;t be his girlfriend if he is trying to threaten you with HIS life.  He should consider staying good friends and he should know that he&#039;s hurting you every time he attempts suicide.  Don&#039;t let him rip your heart up with threats

Take care

------wingz &lt;3

Answer 3

Give him reasons for HIM to break up with YOU. Be a total b*tch and maybe he&#039;ll be sick of you and dump you.

Answer 4

tell his parents he needs serious mental help that you cant give him or get for him

and distance yourself from him once an abuser always an abuser

Answer 5

maybe you should try and find someone else that would totally care for him. like another girl, or a really good friend.

Answer 6

I believe that&#039;s abuse to you as well for threatening you like that. Wow. It&#039;s like listening to these kinds of situations on health class all over again. Maybe try just spreading your time apart from him a little more. Just a little at a time.

Or you should get help. Talk to your parents. Ask them what you should do. He really should get help. And when you do ask for help, try not letting him know what&#039;s going on or else he might just go right ahead and commit it.

I&#039;m really sorry =/

Answer 7

Let&#039;s start with the fact that he&#039;s told you this and you still dated him anyway.  Nothing you can do to change the past, but let it be a lesson for future reference.  

You can&#039;t stay with this person.  What he&#039;s telling you is emotional blackmail.  Tell a trusted adult about his suicide threats and break up with him.  You are not his savior and no one should sacrifice their own happiness for someone who makes them miserable.

Answer 8

I&#039;m so sorry you have to deal with this - you&#039;re being treated like c**p and he&#039;s trapped you into being with him by threatening suicide.

You need to tell his parents. If he has suicidal tendencies and he&#039;s left alone a lot, he could really hurt himself. He needs help. You have to tell his parents that you can&#039;t deal with all of this and that he needs help. Things may be bad between you guys for a little while but he&#039;ll thank you eventually.  

Answer 9

This is a really interesting question, because I feel like a lot of people face this problem, but choose to let it go un-fixed because they are scared, just like you.

One thing you have to realize is that if you are unhappy, and have been so for the past 4months, MOVE ON!

Honestly, it sounds like your boyfriend needs help...professional help, and it almost seems that he may be doing this for attention, which obviously he is getting..

Whatever he does after you break up is his problem, and remember, if he does harm himself, you didn&#039;t cause it, because, if he really wants to hurt himself (or otherwise), he will do it no matter what you say or do.

Answer 10

This is a tough situation to be in. Well first of all, you can&#039;t stay in this relationship if you&#039;re unhappy just because you&#039;re afraid of him trying to kill himself. It&#039;s rather lame of him to put that on you also. It doesn&#039;t sound like he&#039;s been there for you. If he isn&#039;t treating you right, you really do need to move on for yourself. If you&#039;re really concerned about him attempting suicide, you need to talk to someone about it. It might be difficult but you care for him, and it&#039;s probably the best. He needs help. Best of luck to you! I know it&#039;s tricky.  

Answer 11

He said he&#039;ll kill himself BEFORE he started treating you like c**p, which means, his previous statement is no longer valid. He probably doesn&#039;t like you anymore. But I suggest you still give it some time if you haven&#039;t already.

Answer 12

1.  If he were to kill himself, it&#039;s not your fault.  He has larger issues at hand, and seriously, you should end the relationship and let someone know about his threats.

2.  The suicide threat is a manipulation that he uses now.  The next step if it hasn&#039;t happened already is the physical abuse...no kidding.  He is using the threat as a tool to control you, and when that won&#039;t work, heavier methods will be in the works.

3.  You&#039;re in an unhealthy relationship and really must get out.  Try to look down the road 5-10 years.  Can you really imagine going through those years with a pattern of...getting treated like c**p until you complain then having 3-4 good days only to return to get treated like c**p again; followed by threats of violence (to self or to you)?

4.  Everyone deserves better than to be treated this way.  He needs to learn that this juvenile response and bullying will not work.  Be strong and get out or you will suffer for years.

Answer 13

don&#039;t break up. trat him like he dosnt exsit he&#039;ll be wanting more than ever

Answer 14

I was with a guy exactly like that when I was in school.  Just break it to him as gently as possible - tell him you need a break or your feelings changed and you love him AS FRIEND.  Tell him you&#039;d like to stay friends.

Trust me, he may threaten to do something stupid, but in my experience, the ones who say they will - don&#039;t.

Answer 15

Dear girl if you let people blackmail you and manipulate you , you will never have a life of your own.I know a woman that let her boyfriend control her life for ten years until she had enough. She called it quits and began living her life but he harassed her for two years. Finally he came to her place of work and said I will show you. He proceeded to go out side and blew his brains out . She has had a very peaceful life since.Your problem is only how long you wish to suffer. He doesn&#039;t love you he wants to own and control you.

Answer 16

tell him not to treat you badly or you will break up with him. if he loves you so much to kill himself if your not there then he will deffinatly treat you a lot better.

Answer 17

Aww, I just answered one of your other questions about if you two make a cute couple. I think you need to kind of phase him out, not in a mean way. Start hanging out less with him, and start treating him more as a friend. Let him know somehow that you&#039;re still friends and you always will be. Explain to him you&#039;ll always be there for him and that you don&#039;t want to hurt him in ANY way. If it gets too beyond your control, tell someone

Answer 18

This happened to me too. The almost exact same thing.

Answer 19

tell the school counselor and make him get help it&#039;s not fair you have to suffer he wants you to suffer and no offense but if he was your rock why the f*** is he treating you like dirt? just make sure that he goes to see a counselor or psychologist or talk to him and say if you say you would kill yourself If i left why are you treating me so badly if you really love me then treat me with respect and if you can&#039;t do that then I&#039;m going to have to break up with you and if he doesn&#039;t change for good tell the counselor about his suicide attempts and then break up with him .. nd I have been in your position before dating someone because I felt guilty and I stayed in it but then I was depressed and sad all the time and finally i broke up with him

Answer 20

Such a typical Teenage thing.  Once you get a bit older and look back you will see how dumb all teen relationships are.  I didn&#039;t believe it but i&#039;m 25 now and i just laugh.  Once you independent you realize how you don&#039;t need to put up with that bull. tell him to f off he will be fine, if not blame me then.

Answer 21

Explain to him if he&#039;s treating you bad its going to be over. &amp; then tell him if you do break up with him if he truly loved you he wouldn&#039;t kill himself.

Answer 22

I would talk to your mom or a school counselor about this he shouldn&#039;t be treating you bad and he shouldn&#039;t say that he is going yo kill himself because you break up with him. tell someone now

Answer 23

This guy is weak, and is manipulating you.

It is not your responsibilty to keep him from killing himself. Not saying he should, but if YOU are not happy in the relationship, then you should by all means call it off. Sounds like he&#039;s just bluffing.

If he&#039;s been through a lot, he needs counseling, not a girlfriend. Look online for resources in your area, and give them to him. Tell him firmly that you want to break up, but want him to get the help he needs.

Answer 24

i don&#039;t think its in your hands the solution for this situation  you should look for professional aid, talking with his parents might help

Answer 25

You are not his savior.  You need to do what is best for you, &amp; if that is breaking up with him because he is mis-treating you in any way, then you need to end the relationship.

He needs more help than you are equipped at your stage in life to give him.  If he&#039;s attempted suicide in the past &amp; continues to talk about taking his life now, he&#039;s needing help only a professional can give him.

Nobody pushes someone into suicide. If you stay to &quot;save&quot; him, you&#039;re doing yourself a huge injustice.

We all have had hard, terrible things happen to us or loved ones, even, but it doesn&#039;t push everyone into talking suicide.  

Answer 26

omg, ...umm first ask or find out if he 100% serious. if he is get help or something..i felt this way before but i had a long talk with my gf and we worked it out somehow... if he doesn&#039;t listen, talk to him one on one. with supports. tell him there&#039;s more then one person in the world they&#039;ll fall in love with...hopefully..he doesn&#039;t ....=/

Answer 27

Do not let him hold you hostage emotionally, which is what he is doing. If you want to break up with him, do it. Just prior to breaking up with him, tell both your parents and his parents that he has threatened suicide so they should keep an extra watch on him. Also tell his best buddy or someone close to him so his friends and family can watch out for him. How he responds to the breakup is HIS choice. Do not blame yourself.

He would most likely be the same way if any other girl were breaking up with him, it&#039;s his personality. His friends and family should encourage him to get help.  

Answer 28

Get him some help BEFORE you break up with him. Everyone is depressed after a break-up, but at least with some counseling and maybe a bit of therapy, he won&#039;t kill himself.