Boyfriend's new job?

Question

So before my bf was managing a restaurant, he was working a lot (50-60 hrs/wk) but I was able to stop by, see him, and call him whenever I wanted. He just got a job for auditing companies (goes around to different companies and works on their computers) and he still works the same amount but now I can't call him or see him whenever he's on the clock. That was one hard adjustment, but I adapted. Another is is that some of these companies are far away, we live in Boston and soon he's going to go to New York for 2 weeks, come home for one week, then go back again for 3 weeks, and I don't know what I'm going to do. We rarely used to go days without seeing eachother and now this is happening and it doesn't even seem like he cares. I first heard about these travel plans from him telling his mom, not directly, and I got mad asking why he didn't tell me when he first heard and he didn't see the big deal. I know I sound like maintenance, but I really do miss him when he's not around. I'm in school but not for this next semester, I'll just be working, I have friends, but he's my best friend as well. Sorry scattered thoughts, but what do you think? Ask if you need anything clarified.

Answer 1

You know when you switch jobs  one of the main issues that he should be discussing is how the changes will affect your time together.  You didn't really say but I'm willing to bet he didn't consult with you about taking the job either.  He probably just told you he was doing it and acted excited about it and you tried to act excited with him because you want to be a good gf.  You've also probably been dating for quite awhile.  Am I right?  

If the changes he is making drastically affect the time you're going to spend together and he said he didn't think it was a big deal thats a BIG RED FLAG.   Its a big deal.  Don't let him play it down and ignore it.  Almost as if you won't be seeing each other as much like a few hours but thats normal.  

Here it is point blank:

It sounds like he doesn't love you.  He is focused on his career and himself.

Im a 24 yr old Technology Consultant for a huge corporation.  If I loved someone I would consult with them before I even took the job, and if they came to me concerned about how much I would be traveling. It would be my responsibility to assure them how much they mean to be and I'll do my best to spend time and make time for them whenever I can -  but then again,  I'm a fantastic, outstanding guy.