Boyfriend frequently looks at m4m on craigslist casual encounters and says he's not bi...wtf?

Question

While using my boyfriend's computer I've decided to take a peek at the history (I know it's wrong to look but just hear me out) I found searches for "hung" m4m among other things on craigslist casual encounters in our city. After seeing this I've tried to bring up the fact that I'm bi-curious...and while talking about fantasies, have brought up the idea of bringing another guy in to join us just to see what his feeling are about him being that close sexually to a guy. But he always ends the conversation saying that he's not bi...and that he really wouldn't want me to be with another guy. In another conversation I also asked him if he's ever been with another guy...he said no and was like why would you even ask that?

Since finding this I've continued to randomly look at the history on his computer and he seems to be frequently looking up both w4m as well as m4m ads. He tells me that he uses the mw4mw picures to m********e a few times a week but doesn't answering them - and there is never any mention of the m4m ****. And as far as I know he hasn't actually met anyone on CL or cheated since we've been dating, BUT i did find him answering a w4m ad about 6 months ago when our relationship was a little rocky - BIG SETBACK. The girl never wrote him back and nothing became of it.

Anyways, since I feel like I just can't trust him. We have a great s*x life (aside from my doubts) and have hot s*x almost every day. We watch p**n a lot and have pretty kinky s*x so it's not that i'm square about that ****. But I really don't know if I can handle his behaviour. I feel that if he'd just open up about the m4m thing I probably be ok with it. I just don't want him to hide things from me. But is seems like he won't be talking about it anytime soon. He says I can trust him over and over again. I just don't know what to do and this has been driving me crazy for month now. Any advice would be great.

BTW - we're both 30, live together and have been dating for almost 2yrs.

Answer 1

Sorry, but this guy sounds like bad news. He sounds like that typical "straight" guy with a wife/girlfriend, but he goes cruising for some male action. Trust is a big part of a monogamous relationship. If you can't trust him why be with him? The fact that he won't even talk about that m4m thing makes it clear that he isn't being honest. I'm not trying to imply that he's cheating on you, but if he is he could be bringing home any type of STD.

Answer 2

He's a closet q***r, dear. He likes having male penises in his a**s once in a while.

Answer 3

perhaps he's seriously curious and of course he's gonna tell you to trust him

Answer 4

Get rid of him now.  unless you want to contract an STD or HIV.  He's looking, and most likely is sleeping around without you knowing and he won't admit to it.  Dump him and move on today.

Answer 5

He can't trust you because you spied on him.  If you can't trust someone so much that you have to peek into their personal life then you have no business being in a relationship with him.  You should leave now.

Answer 6

He's only half g*y!!!

Answer 7

Trust does seem to be an issue here. You are snooping his surf history and not telling him about it and are troubled that there isn't enough openness? Ask him about it directly (which you probably don't want to do because it would divulge your snooping). So if you are in fact afraid to ask the question you want to ask, why are you surprised that you aren't getting an answer?

Hiding things from an almost-spouse is a bad road to head down; it usually gets worse. Be daring, 'fess up to your activities and ask him about his.

Answer 8

Well if you watch born together & **** , you're obviously pretty freaky people . (;

So maybe he's just curious . or he's not ready to open up about it yet & wants to keep it a private thing .

Maybe you guys should watch some of that m4m stuff together & then you can understand why he's interested in it. .  

Answer 9

Hi,Lots of men think about a bi experience, but do not follow through on it. And then there are many that have a hidden bi life and I know a few. But most guys that are bi and married really would not share there wife's or girl friends with another guy. I have had bi experiences in the past with friends that where married and they never told there wife's nor would they every share them with me. I was single at the time. Now that I am married I do think about it from time to time but would never act on it any longer. As far as your boy friend, he may be bi and even acted on it but you asking him to bring another guy into your sexual relationship and that  may not go over too well as most guys do not want there girlfriends shared. If you really want to try and find out , try getting some bi videos and then saying , that watching two guys really turns you and and would he ever consider doing it for you? If you do say that and he dose take you up on it I hope it is something you may like. I hope my thinking helped you. I am now in my late 50s and have seen and done a lot ! Good luck and take care.

Answer 10

He could have been eyeing the competition. Or he might think someone he knows is g*y and he is looking for ads to confirm it. Or he defines bi as someone who has s*x with guys and he wants to only look but not touch. He might also be confused himself. Try and be open and supportive.  

Answer 11

so belive him and if you keep on sayin that you're in trouble

Answer 12

You should tell him you look at the history and see what he says. In order to trust each other, both of you need to be honest.