He's actually not my boyfriend anymore. As of two days ago, we broke up. We'd been going out for about a year, he's not my first, but he's my first real relationship. I'm 17 years old, so.. I know a year is not that long, but it is for me. You know?
Anyway, I realized that breaking up with him wasn't what I wanted. I mean, I thought I was unhappy because my friends are turning 18, and are single, and I used to be the wild one, but since we had started dating, I had started to settle down. I started to worry about being 25, and looking back at the best years of my life, and asking myself "Is that really what I spent the best years of my life doing? Being in a serious relationship?" So, for the past two days, I haven't really given myself a chance for this "Freedom" but I'm starting to feel that it isn't worth it.
So after countless overwhelming emotions and two sleepless nights, and three very long, dragging days, I decided to tell him that I was being selfish, and stupid. I was being rash, and realized that it wasn't worth losing my best friend (We had a more "best friend" than "romantic" relationship.) And I know that hardly ever 17 year old that's in a relationship stays with that one guy for the rest of her life, but this just didn't feel right.
And he told me that he needed time, and that he didn't know the many ways that I had hurt him, cut him down, and broke his heart. I argued that if he knew what he wanted, then we would just get back together. Why would somebody want to wait and sit around longer, feeling sorry for themselves?
Is this going to happen again? I'm so confused. He says he knows what he wants, but he's taken no action.
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