Boyfriend is a jerk but I love him and can't see myself without him?

Question

I've been with him for over a year and I really love him. We moved very quickly and became very attached to each other. I've pretty much lost all my friends, and he doesn't really see his friends either. He used to treat me like gold, but lately he's been a complete jerk. When I do something without him, he calls me about every hour, and I always answer. He'll go out and tell me he'll be home by 12, but he won't be home by 12, won't even call me at 12, and not answer his phone the entire time. He says hurtful things and if I cry, it doesn't phase him. He's become very insensitive and he makes me feel rejected and unwanted sometimes. On the other hand, when things are good they are REALLY good and we both agree that we could see each other together forever. We have the same views and opinions on a lot of things and I can't see myself being happy without him. I have talked to him about the things that bother me, but nothing ever changes, what do I do?

Answer 1

you have got into the classic act called as and when i need her relationship, he will continue to treat you l;ike this unless you get this relationship on your terms so if i was you i would tell him you no longer want this relationship and wait for him to start running after you when that happens you have control then tell him your terms and if he agrees tell him if he strays back its over this will fix all the problems you have with him and secure what you both have. he wants you he just doesnt want to admit it so try it you wont be dissapointed.             x

Answer 2

Try talking to him one more time and if nothing changes then dump him. He is not worth being with if he treats you like ****. Find someone better if her doesn't want to listen to your feelings. You can definitely find someone better who will treat you the right way.

Answer 3

It sounds like you are being taken for granted. That will not change as long as you allow it. A trial separation might be a good thing for both of you. Maybe he will realize once you are gone for a bit what he stands to lose and if you are worth it to him he will work on change. Best of Luck.

Answer 4

You can either be mature or immature about this.

Mature (&suggested way) - leave him. He doesn't deserve someone who loves him this much.

Immature - never call him, never answer his calls, only when he gets crazy, then just act calm and serene.

Ask yourself this first- is he really making you happy by being a jerk?

Answer 5

you need to treat him the way he's treating you...

ignore him for a bit, and don't show him you're much interested in him the way you used to before...

change in a wya he would miss the old you... and don't give him everything he asks for...when u go out and he calls, pick it up once and tell him the whole plan...when he calls again don't answer...

he might go crazy, and might leave you but there you will find out whether he's an a*****e or someone who truely loves you...

stop talkin to him...be strong...once you'rre down to earth with him he's gonna step all over you...stand upright againt all what he does and don't cry..he'd start thinking "gosh i'm dating a crybaby" ...u need to toughen up...

good luck xX

Answer 6

I've been through this so many times. What I would do in you situation is tell hims it's over. You shouldn't be in a relationship that causes you to cry or make you feel the way he makes you feel. Maybe what he needs a real good reality check. Give me on and who knows that just might make him realize he needs you more than he leads on.

Answer 7

If you stay with him.....you will be the jerk.

He knows you are not going anywhere so he can do what he wants and treat you how ever he pleases. Turn the table and give him some of his own medicine. You may think its risky and you will lose him. Most likely not but if you do then he didnt really care for you anyway. Make him worry a little and make him see that you dont need to be with rather you want to be with him if he stops taking it for granted. NEVER think there is no one else and you will never be happy.

Answer 8

No WONDER men think that they are the superior race. Too many women without self esteem allow them to believe that they are someone else;s existance.

Honey You need DEEP therapy and love YOU>

Answer 9

here's whats going on.  he wants out of the relationship but he's just too big a puss to say so ...so he's trying to make you get upset and just break up with him.  that way, he doesn't look like the bad guy.

or he's cheating.  

prolly both.

and you don't love him...you love people who abuse you?  you love the IDEA of him.  

you are in a cycle of abuse.  let it go.  find a man who doesn't d**k you around ...stop letting him control your life and future.  be a woman and take control of the situation and MOVE ON!

Answer 10

Drop the creep. Nothing will ever change and your self-esteem will only get worse if you continue to allow this c**p.

Answer 11

He probably thinks he's got you where he wants you and is taking advantage of that fact - sounds like he does not appreciate you - and thinks you'll stick around NO MATTER WHAT HE DOES OR HOW HE TREATS YOU ... So he's just not bothering to treat you like his princess

Thing is , he is taking your love for granted - and taking advantage of the fact you feel so hooked on him

WALK AWAY....Its the only way - otherwise its gonna get worse and he'll lose all respect for you altogether

Get out while you still have some dignity and self respect left - or it will end up without you having a shred of either!

Its not fair he's taking advantage of your feelings like that - find someone who appreciates you and is so glad that you feel that way about them without wanting to take you for granted

If he thinks you'll always be there he will take the p*ss .... unfortunately!!!

Answer 12

you should never let a guy do that and if he wont change not even for you it isnt worth it.there are tons of guys out there.tell him if he wont change ur unfortunately gonna have to break up with him because thats no way to treat a gf.

Answer 13

hes not the guy for u dont make decisions too quickly

Answer 14

tell him that you feel that way about him and you would like him to start being sensitive about yr feelings im not gunna tell u to brake up with him though becuz ik its not that easy jus tell him in person that u feel like he dosnt care bout yr feelings and if u want to b together then he needs to start caring and answering his phone becuz u wanna talk but if he dosnt change then u do need to move on u shuldnt b putting up with all that

Answer 15

At times you really may be in love, but then again, love is blinding to other harmful elements in a relationship. Everyone needs their space, but he doesn't seem to be letting you have your own time. He seems like a phony who only treated you like gold so he could eventually act his normal ways by being a jerk. It even seems as if he is psychologically abusing you. He's controlling everything you do even when he's not with you. Remember there are three forms of abuse: physical, emotional, and psychological. He may not be all bad, but the fact that he is taking away your independence isn't good at all. Even though you're very happy with him, who knows how things will later turn out. I advise you spend a little time separated from one another to see how it feels. Don't worry, there are more single guys if anything happens. Also remember your own worth and how much better you deserve!

Answer 16

hes a jerk. drop him. and listen to the song "so what" by pink. you'll feel better after you drop him.

Answer 17

pleeeeeeeease get out of this. He will be controlling and this has happened to my mums best friend and it broke her heart and she lost her best friend. Please get out!

Answer 18

*slap slap* maybe now u will start to think... to love some 1 that does not love u back is about the most stupid thing a person can do. dump him right away. a guy that causes a girl to cry deserves to get beat mercilessly.

Answer 19

you need to take a break from each other!  you sound as if you do not know if it is the relationship you like or if you actually like him.  Human nature is to want to be wanted and if you just want him because you want someone it is not good.  You need some one that has his own interests and supports you in your interests.  He sounds as if he is controlling. If the control esculates and if he ever raises a hand to you get out as this is a sign of violence that will continue the longer you stay the harder it is to get out without being hurt.

Answer 20

Dont stay with him! If it doesnt phaze him when you cry, then he is obviously an insensitive jerk.

Answer my question!

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 21

You're too wrapped up in each other -- that's not a healthy relationship. Someone treating you badly and making you cry is NOT love. If nothing every changes (as you said) then DO NOT marry this guy, because all that means is  you'll be dealing with his nonsense FOREVER.

You need your friends back. You need your life back -- when you get too wrapped up in someone, you can't see the situation for what it really is. You definitely need some distance from him to SEE what's what's really going on. He's controlling  you. Calling you every hour is a very BAD sign -- that's not love, that's just an insecure guy trying to monitor your every move.  That kind of behavior ALWAYS gets worse over time.

Put some MAJOR space between you and this guy -- spend time with your friends. Get YOUR LIFE back. You MUST be able to see yourself with out him, if you can't then you will become an abused women because you will put up with ANYTHING - just because you "can't see yourself with out him."  Don't do this to yourself!!!