Boyfriend not wanting to see ultrasound.?

Question

I am wanting to get an Ultrasound to see the baby. That my boyfriend doesn’t want to keep. But I havent made up my mind entirely yet. We haven’t talked about it properly still but the baby has a heart beat and its my baby and I want to see it. But he said he doesn’t want to, and if I want him to he will.

But what’s the point when he simply doesn’t want to?

Why is he like this? I cant think of a reason why he doesn’t want to because I’m just confused myself.

What do you personally think?

Answer 1

If he loves you, then he'll respect your wishes and in a few months, will probably take to the idea of being a dad! He is probably scared and nervous - a lot of unmarried couples get like this. There may be money issues or maybe he is just afraid that he'll be a bad father. But, he won't, so go and see your ultrasound and enjoy your pregnancy. Good luck on your baby!

Answer 2

He probably regrets having one that he doesn't want to see it.

have the ultrasound so you can see it and then ask if he would like to see the little angel

Answer 3

Sounds like he doesn't want to be attached the baby and seeing something moving would make him feel worse if you d o have an abortion.

I would seriously not be too concerned with his needs (not to sounds selfish), and do whatever you want. If you want him there, then make him come. You're the one pregnant and have to go through the pain of either abortion or keeping it.

Answer 4

if you dont know if your keeping the baby, why would he want to see it? it kind of makes the whole thing more real and even more sad. if you are considering not keeping the baby i wouldnt even recommend an ultrasound it will just cause extra unecessary hurt

Answer 5

I remember my first ultrasound!  Go ahead and do it.  I think you'll be surprised at his reaction if you can convince him to go along.  At the moment he's not really connected with what's going on in there, so maybe this would be a bit of a wake-up call for him.  I bet he gets blown away by baby's first picture :)

Answer 6

It sounds like he's in denial. When you asked "But what’s the point when he simply doesn’t want to?".. The point is that this is your baby. I'm sure it hasn't sunk in yet. It hasn't fully sunk in with me either - and I'm 21 weeks!!

A baby needs a loving home. You are more than capable of providing that on your own if you have to.

Answer 7

He doesn't want to keep it, right? Why are you so surprised that he doesn't want to see that tiny, helpless baby that he doesn't want to be there for? He's afraid he'll feel guilty about it.  If he says he'll go if you want him to, then take him. But I'd have serious doubts about letting him be a father.

Answer 8

I adapted to pregnancy really quickly and easily- the baby wasnt a bit drama-although it was a shock- but my boyfriend took a long time.  He was in denial for most of my pregnancy. He, too, did not want to attend my ultrasounds- he came to all 5 of them (had some complications) because i wanted him to- not because he wanted too.  It wasnt until i was 8months pregnant that he actually got used to the idea.

Now, he is the best, loving, affectionate father and boyfriend.

Some guys just take a longer time to come to terms with it. We are more readily adaptable because the changes are physically happening to us-we can feel them, we have to change our lifestyles to ensure the healthiest pregnancy, and we have no option to burry our heads in the sand.  It is harder for guys, especially when there is confused feelings about the future of the child.

What made me stay with my partner was that i knew how good of a dad he could be, and that if he just had the chance then the future would be gr8.  You know him, and should have some idea how it will end up- or how it could be, and if u believe that he has it in him, then try and work through it.  

Its hard for you, u need all the support and help u can get right now.  Just be aware that no matter what, there is nothing that u have done wrong in this situation- and if he is not the type of person to turn around and be a good, supportive man and then father, then u r more than capable of doing a good job on your own.  Its hard when u want the guy to care as much as u do, and i for one know that the more u try and push it on them, the more they will go the opposite way!

Just give him a bit of time- and try to talk to him and find out the reasons behind his actions- and also let him know thats its normal to be worried!  I hope things work out for u, and good luck with the rest of the pregnancy!

Answer 9

He may just be scared about being a father and taking care of another human being for 18yrs! He will get used to it sooner or later. I wouldn't force him to be active in your pregnancy b/c you may be pushing him away!

Answer 10

I think..( I don't know for sure of course), but I think that he thinks that if he sees the baby on the ultrasound, he will change his mind about not keeping it, or he will feel guilty that he didn't keep it. I know that I would have a change of mind if I were in this situation.