Boyfriend off to college?

Question

My boyfriend just left for college and before he left we spent every day together and I kind of list connection with most of my friends. Now that he's gone I find myself waiting for him to call and thinking of him all the time. I've been really hormonal because I've been on my period so I've been kind of picking fights every night. Before he left his parents suggested he explored more options with girls while he's at college. He's chosen to stay with me. We're so in love and he wants to stay with me but the other night I asked him if he was happy with me and he said kind of. He told me he's stressed and he's just learning to take care of himself but he also feels like he has to take care of me.. I feel like I've made a bad impression on how our relationship will work because of my period.

Last night I suggested we take a small break and at first he was 100% against it but after talking to him more he started to sound iffy and said maybe he should explore more options. He knows what will happen will be we try a break but we'll still call each other and we hate to think of each other with another person. It kills both of us. In the end we figured if we take a break it will show us how much we mean to each other. I feel like he would have more of an advantage on this break because I've been with my guy potentials since forever but he's in a new place with tons of new girls...

Basically I need advice on what to do and maybe a little reassurance or personal experience stories.

We love each other so much our relationship has just been a little rattled for the past week..

Answer 1

Your separation pangs are causing the stress - your period is only incidental. You feel powerless and unable to control events. You’re nervy, fearful of the future, of loneliness, etc. Other people saying things are adding to the stress and uncertainty.

So in trying to cope, you become reactive. You fight with the boyfriend as if it’s his ‘fault’ in going away. You might also create imaginary “tons of new girls”, suspect him of being disloyal, demand reassurances, hurt him and so on, in ways that you later regret. By going to pieces, you might actually drive him away from you. Yes, you are making “a bad impression on how our relationship will work” because you’re calling for support and attention rather than giving it at this crucial moment.

The boyfriend’s already chosen you, as you say. He’s told you “he's stressed and he's just learning to take care of himself but he also feels like he has to take care of me..”. He’s reassured you, yet you want to test his response almost every moment. Don’t forget he’s the one venturing into the unknown, and he needs to know that you are there for him. So step up to assure him of your support, love and caring.

Be the grownup, mature person he’s sure is right for him and who he want to come back to. Remember, you’re not a casual passenger in the relationship but somebody actively involved in driving it in the right direction.

Answer 2

ok...so it was a while back but i was once upon a time in yours shoes.

Are you stil in high school?  Still in the same town where you were together, meaning that you did not go off to school as well??  

I can promise you that he is stressed to the max, and dealing with tons of new things.  You need to be strong and assure him that you are OK and that he doesn't need to "take care of you" You are a big girl and you are just learning on how to deal with the physical seperation. I always spaz out and get all weepy and c**p around my time of the month. Matter of fact i can trace almost every relationship ending blow out back to a PMS weekend.  So you need to be totally aware of this and explain it to him...lol.  I know that you did not want to take a break and were jsut fishing for he to say "no no, i don't want to"  Ya need to stop that!!! HA! Guys hate it!  And it put doubts in their heads an it makes them feel like you really might want to be seperated...so stop it!  And while we are on things to stop....stop waiting for him to call.  been there, done that..its a lonely place.  Try to reconnect with some people, some girlfriends.  You need them!  Don't pick fights..or try not to.  And "taking a break" never works and normally leads to bad things.  Try and do something interesting guring the day and that way you can talk to him about it at night. Ask him about his day and don't say like .."well were there girls there". At this point you have to trust him, he has done nothing to loose your trust.

I know its hard...i have been in your shoes more then once!!  Be strong, if the two of you are ment to be together you will be...regardless of location!  Show each other how much you mean to each other buy being supportive and positive, not sad and negative.  That will kill it for sure.  new girls schmoo girls....if he loves you then he will only want to be with you. Anyting less and he is not worth your time.  And remember he alloweed to hang out with girls and have them as friends...just nothing more,.no touchey touchey:)   OK, sorry rambeling, i wish i was there to give you a hug and take you for some coffee.  Once chick to another...you be strong...and try to smile...

Answer 3

Love holds no bounds if you love each other nothing can shatter that

if your on your period your hormones are getting in the way of your feelings

communication is 95% of a relationship s*x only 3%  if you don't communicate

what your desire no one else including him will know if his parents are telling him to explore his options perhaps that is the result of the way you have expressed yourself either by insecurity if you communicate you wouldn't be insecure in the first place when separating because some one goes to school it can be hard on that relationship if he's tempted to date others than his love for you didn't exist in the first place exchange rings if both of you wore rings to keep your love for one another strong then do that wear it with pride so will he, don't make him feel guilty that could drive a wedge between you

you should try to find ways to meet either by going to the city where he is

or him coming back on school breaks if your truly in love with one another

and you plan on spending the rest of your life with him and he feels the same way it does not matter what separates you love holds no bounds

communication is the key to success in relationship if you don't you didnt have one in the first place.

hope this helps

lr