Boyfriend wants to take a year long motorcycle trip, he wants me to go. Should I? How?

Question

Ok, so my boyfriend (of 3 years) has had this dream of traveling around the country (maybe Canada and a bit of South America as well), camping and taking photos for about a year since he was a kid. And now he's finally getting around to the early stages of planning. And he wants me to go with him.

I would LOVE to go with him, I honestly would. Who could pass up a chance to take off for a year, be free and just see things you never thought you would? It seems wrong NOT to go...

But when I talk to people besides my boyfriend they tell me it's a mistake. I'll lose everything I've worked for.....I don't know what to do. I'm so confused.

A little background: I'm 21, the trip will not be for another year and a half or so (plenty of time to plan). I work as a receptionist for a really good, big company with great pay and benefits and I will definitely get the chance to move up. I just started buying a car (which won't be paid for for 2.5 years so it would have to be sold before we left). I'd give up my job, car and apartment to take this trip. Probably sell a LOT of other things as well....

I'll also have to learn to ride a motorcycle in the time before we leave which I think is very doable.....it's just.....

What happens when we get back? How do we get back on our feet? Should we try to support each other or get our own separate places like we do now? I just don't know, I'm so confused. I'd give up everything I've worked for but how much is that really? I could find another job, maybe even get back into my current company afterward, buy another car.....

It's just been hard to get to where I am now already.....but what will my life matter if I don't have something to be proud of? One good adventure? I just want one good adventure and to feel free for once....Not shackled to a desk and phone. lol.

And I do not like the idea of staying home while he's out there alone having the time of his life. The worry and jealousy just wouldn't be worth it, I think...

Is there anyone that has taken a trip like this? How did you finally decide to do it with other people telling you not to? How did you cope on the road? How was it when you returned home?

I want to travel and see the world so much but how do you do that with all the money you don't have and everyone pushing you to stay put behind your desk?

Help?!

Answer 1

If you have kids then no...If not then you take the trip...you can always find a new job your 21...you will never get a chance at this again...plus 3 years is a long time in a relationship and your prolly planning a future with this man..so this will be a good test 24/7 for a year

Answer 2

that's stupid and the dream is out of the question right now. getting a year off from work =FIRED. i would not in 100years give up everything i worked for. you would still have car payments, house payment, insurance, taxes, bills to pay and a year off with Zero income sounds really bad unless you are sitting on $1million in the bank then it's fine. I would save enough first to go a year without a job before taking this very very expensive trip. it gets unconfortable riding on a motorcycle for that long. h**l i get sick from riding in  a car for more than 5 hours. tell this guy to work first and save money before embarking on a "man trip" . please don't give up your life to fullfill someone else's dream. you always come first NO matter what! no saying he should give up on his dreams but his is costly(gas,food,hotel,living expense) for a year. $25,000 gonna be what he needs. don't make a foolish mistake that will cost you a lifetime of opportunites to fix. you are an Adult now and have resposibilities and can't take this detour no matter how much you want to.

Answer 3

Receptionist jobs are a dime a dozen, really !

If you want to keep your car, double up on the payments and pay it off early.

Prior to leaving , sell off the crappy ,or bulky furniture items you don't love and put the rest in storage.

Apartments are easily replaced so that's not an issue either.

I'd say your major issues are

A) learning to ride proficiently in a year and a half ,START NOW!

B) Money, pay the car off, put enough away for 1st and last when you return and storage costs, Plus about a thousand a month minimum each to live off of while on the road.

C) Decide if you can really live out of a sleeping bag and cheesy hotels for a year. I'd suggest some weekend trips and even week long trips to see if you can hang.

I've done a few 4 month long trips around the U.S , but I just stay in a hotel rather than camp, too much c**p to carry.

Answer 4

i think you should wait until you have enough money saved up so you wouldn't have to give up a lot of your belongings just to take this trip.

especially since it sounds like you have a good career and could move up in the area, it seems like you'd eventually be able to make enough money to pay for this trip in the future.

it might be farther away but i think it would be smarter to wait, you're 21, you have several more years ahead of you hopefully to do this later

Answer 5

It definitely sounds like a great adventure and now would be the time to do it.  In 10 years time, you will more likely have many more commitments & responsibilities in your life which will restrict your time and finances.

However, you say that this is your boyfriend's dream.  What is your dream?  A year's time is a very long time to be spending on a bike and even if you live in a tent and sleeping bags, the food and fuel costs will still add up over that time frame.  

Unless this is your dream as well ( or you are not ready to take a whole year off ), maybe you could work out a compromise such as you go with your boyfriend for a couple of weeks and then take the bus or fly back home.  You could also meet him in various parts of the country later on and travel and with for another week or two before heading back home again.

Answer 6

I have just two things to say to you and I am an old wise man so listen up!

1. You are VERY young. You have plenty of time to get re-established when you return. And you will get re-established.

2. This would be an experience you remember for the rest of your life. It is also an experience which will change your life and make you a better person. Trust me on this one. I know.

Do This!

Answer 7

Do it!  Find a way to make it work financially.

It will set you back a year or two, but at 22 or 23yrs old most people are still at square one with their careers, and most don't have the stories of adventure that you will when you return, just mountains of financial aid debt.  You have the next 40 odd years to build a career, and it's better now than having a midlife crisis when you are fully embedded in the 9-5 life.

Don't worry about the people who tell you to stay put, they just don't have the adventerous spirit that it takes to go out and experience life outside of a cubicle.

When you get back you'll be able to find a job, and who knows, you may learn a few things along the way.  

Answer 8

You can't buy memories, you make them. The negative people are just jealous. You lose a job, get another one . You lose some material things, so what, they make that stuff every day. I'm 70 yrs. old and take my word, money and all this material c**p ain't what it's bragged up to be. You can't do that type of stuff when you get old , DO IT NOW!

Answer 9

Maybe look at it this way. Maybe a month off if you can arrange it? No sense in quitting your job (even if it ain't a career) and cruising around the country with a dreamer. What happens if you get "with child"? Even consider this, to get another job after the trip what would you say was your last employment? Why did you leave and what did you do. Do you say you left your employer to ride around the country because someone had a dream? They'll think you are a dream chaser and can't be responsible. Even at that, they'll think you easily influenced and wonder about your capabilities of being trusted with information. Too much to think about losing in a year long outing. Take a month and see some sites. You have to be pretty well off to not work for a year and do nothing but ride the country looking at stuff. My son went to Australia for a year and has decided it ain't what he hoped for. He got married and now wants to come back to the states because it is so expensive and he can't always find work because he is a visitor there. I say try to take a leave of absence and feel it out for a month.

Answer 10

On the face of this, it sounds ideal.

However, I think the first thing you should do if you are seriously considering going is get a few lessons on a bike. They aren't for everyone and they may not be too your liking. Not only that, you will have to keep up with your boyfriend and one of the main causes of accidents are inexperienced drivers crashing while trying to keep up.

It will be tough on your relationship too. You will be together for a whole year and it will put tremendous strains on your relationship. You will have no friends, no where to go and no one to talk to apart from him so assess how good your relationship is.

Apart from that, all I can say is start preparing and looking at the various different countries you will be passing through and what the procedures is for each. I watched Ewan Mac Gregor and Charlie Boorman in "long way round" and long way down" and one of the things that was the most time consuming and difficult was getting past border control.

Answer 11

Totally irresponsible, but yeah, do it.

Answer 12

I think it's a terrible idea if you've already got a good job and stable income.

Why would you give all that up to go on a biking trip? If you want time off just take a vacation, you don't need to go away for a year.

Theres no point to throw it all away if you're just getting everything together now.

Answer 13

The practical answer is that you would be crazy to quit a good job to go off and have an adventure. People who don't understand adventure wouldn't see the point.

I have made my life into a series of adventures. It has put me behind some people my own age when you consider career, but I could care less. The adventures I have had are what define me as a person.

After 20 years of doing that, I have largely settled down, but it was because I wanted to settle down. I can look at my middle age and domesticity with some perspective. Those adventures make me feel grateful for what I have instead of trapped and resentful.

I would rather live my life to its fullest now, rather than sell it off for an early retirement.

It isn't a right choice or a wrong choice though. You just have to do what you feel is right.

Good luck with your decision.

Answer 14

sure............go.if u aint got a job n hav lots o money to spend!

Answer 15

if you want my advice: why jepordise your career, your car and more of your belongings for some year long trip. just tell your boyfriend how you feel and if he really loves you he will understand. maybe once everythings sorted like your house and car, you could go on the trip then in a few years.

Answer 16

"no one lies on their death bed wishing they had spent more time at the office." Thats great. It really is.

Look only go if you want to go, you are uncertain, because you are asking the question. Is it really for you? Would you really want to go there?

What would you do if you split up? Had a awful argument and you were left in the middle of no-where.

You also know that if he goes with out you he will most likely not come back to you, there are lots of s**y senoritas on the road that like young guys with motorbikes.

Oh but a woman on a bike... You would have to beat the guys off with a stick!!!!

A few months ago I saw an old school friend, had a few beers with him.

He was getting divorced, he was so miserable. His life was revolving around all his bad mistakes. He had a job but it was not fantastic, he had a house but could not live in it, but he had to pay for it.

All he wanted was a "lads" holiday and to have some fun, run wild a bit and see the world. It was his dream. All he had done was work and get married and do what people told him to.

I asked him where he would like to go.

He wanted to go to Amsterdam and raise h**l, go surfing on Bondi beach, tour California on a Harley, meet loose women and drink cold beer.

So I told him my stories, I lived in Amsterdam for a year, Australia for two years, many other countries in Europe.

I had the time of my life, I really did. I met the loose women, I also fell in love and had relationships.  I drank enough beer to fill an olympic sized paddling pool.

I traveled the world for six years and loved it. There were good times and bad times. But most of all I did it.

Do I cry that I am now 35 and do not own a house?

Do I cry that I gave up a head chefs position in a top London restaurant to do this?

NO, I smile at how the experiance has broadened my mind.

I decided that being a chef was not for me and I am now retraining to be a mechanic, even at my age. I am doing this because it is what makes me happy.

Two years ago I met a loverly woman, we are due to get married in two months time. She is loverly and the only girl I would ever consider doing this with. We have saved the deposit up for a house and we will be thinking of children in a year or so.

She has traveled extensivley and we love to discuss the differences between countries, our experiances.

I say go for it, you have nothing to lose. Just leave yourself a couple of thousand in your bank account, as emergency money, you can always come home and find somewhere to live and get another job.

You can always get a job when you are traveling, for extra spending money.waitress, washing dishes. it all helps.

You are 21 go out and have fun.

Wanna be a wage slave all your life?

wanna be 35 and tell your friend your dreams and have them say...Yeah I did that ten years ago and I did this and that.

Go run and be free, live your dreams.

have no regrets

Answer 17

If you want to take the jump take the jump. As long as no one depends on you whats the point of living if you don't do what you want to do?

Take a sheet of paper and write the "Pros" on one side and "Cons" on the other; you'll find that the decision practically makes itself. You could talk to your boss about taking a year hiatus.

I certainly wouldn't want to miss such an awesome opportunity. Do your research, and read "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance."

Answer 18

I'm kind of hoping to travel the states when I retire. I'm 45 now, and the way things are going, I'll probably work until the day I die, or they drag my decrepit old *** to the county nursing home.

Answer 19

Do it! think about it, in 10, 20, 40 years, what will you be thinking?

wow, i'm really glad I lived in that apartment answering phones during 2010, what a great time that was!

or will you be remembering how badass it was that you saw two continents and looking at all your pictures?

Answer 20

that's a great plan for successful people who have their own business yet capable managers to run the show in their absence.  or for retired people.  my hat goes off to that type and they should be proud of their hard work

anytime before that, i get the impression that they are an irresponsible and immature individual.  i don't think it's your time yet

Answer 21

you need to start off small with a month trip , to see if you can survive together  

Answer 22

We usually camp on the road.  We've motorcycled and camped all over Texas,  trips to Wyoming, AR, KY  and NC, mostly on one bike.  The second trip to North Carolina we took two bikes and spent some nights in cheap motels as a time saving measure.

http://bigyellabike.wordpress.com/2008/0...

No one lies on their death bed wishing they'd spent more time at the office.

Answer 23

u knw wat dont go with him may be he want u to  come so he can have s*x with you

and then you become pregnent

after tht u can call me to marry u

i have no prob

Answer 24

A great adventure it is.  And the timing isnt that bad either.  I took this very trip on my motorcycle after planning it for 13 years, and the onlyy reason I got the opportunity was because after walking out of the WTC on 9/11, I no longer had an office, job, or responsibilities.  I did have enough saved to pay the mortgage for a year, my car was paid for, and I was on my feet.  If I were 21 instead of 31 it would have been a lot easier.  With that said, You have to ask yourself where youre going with this guy.

Are you engaged? Is there a real commitment there? You're making a

large commitment to him to share his dream, but whats yours?  Will he pull through if yours is to be engaged and married after?  Maybe youre not looking for these things, but figure out what you are looking for and what you hope to achieve.  

Its a wonderful adventure, its also very very difficult! You're talking about being on a saddle for 10 hours a day at a minimum!  Were talking SORE *** no matter what seat you have.  Traveling very light and washing clothes in hotel sinks or campground restrooms.  Fatigue takes its toll and tempers run short, no doubt there will be arguments and you will both need to have a tough skin.

The other side to this is a great adevnture that may bring the two of you as close as you'll ever be, so sit down figure out whats important to you and make your decision.  If you go, buy a great camera i.e. Sanyo Exacti Video/Photo camera to document your adventures.  Take notes, maybe youll want to write a book about it.  Dont forget you have your entire life to get another job, to get another car, to get another apartment.  Once you have a house, kids, and greater responsibilities, this adventure is out the window.

And if your still on the fence, read or listen to the book Investment Biker by Jim Rodgers.  

http://www.amazon.com/Investment-Biker-A...

He went around the world on a motorcycle then did it again years later in Custom Mercedes Benz SLK convertible 4x4.  GOOD LUCK!

Answer 25

Coming from someone who is 50, and has driven around the country when I was your age, not for a year, more for 3 weeks at a time. I still have memories of my trips and travels, all the things that are a part of me now. Would I do them again, YES, would I like to do them again, YES, but unfortunately nowadays I have responsibilities like home family,mortgage payments, and on and on, Kids off at school and paying for them. I am not sure if I could do a year nowadays, but what I would give to have a month or 2 to be able to take off on my bike, I would LOVE to go around the coast. drive thru the  Grand Canyon, up thru Canada in the summer, even slide down the east coast and around the Gulf of Mexico and down thru Mexico before coming up thru California, can not forget riding the back highways thru the Rocky Mountians, maybe not in that order. I still have memories burned in my mind of riding down the coast, driving in the Rockys to the Blue Ridge Mountians and even the countless miles of midwest potato country. It will be a hard trip in a way, and you will value any time you get to stay in a cheap hotel to wash away the road dirt and salt if you riding the coast,. But some people once they have felt that freedom, you can never take it away.  Like I said, sometimes its kind of hard being on the road and tiring, thats when you camp out for a few days and recharge,then you crave the road again, stay longer at the places you enjoy. It is an adventure, it is an experience, but you will come back a different person. Just hope you and you partner have a good relationship. Good Luck