Boyfriend went away for college...

Question

Okay, so my boyfriend of over a year (but known him since I was 15) recently left for college in a completely different state. My problem is I have accumulated trust issues through the earlier years of my life. I love him with all my heart but i'm having trouble dealing with all of this. Not to mention he's already met some girl there and has been hanging out with her. Now, I don't have an issue with him having female friends it's the fact he's in another state and i've never met the girl or know anything about her. And yes, i'm extremely jealous. I wish I could trust him, I don't want our relationship to end over my insecurities but I also don't want to be cheated on. He tells me he loves me and this girl means nothing to him 'in that way', but he has lied to me in the past before.

Advice?

Answer 1

well it is hard i'm dealing with a 9 month long distance relationship here too. and just ask him that its kind of bugging you and if he had to deal with u hanging out with a guy friend off and on wouldnt he get a little paranoid too. just talk to him about it.

all you have in a long distance relationship is communication so whatever ur feeling WHATEVER it is you have to tell him.

hope this helps.

-jeri ;)

Answer 2

If the school is not far from you take a trip to his school. Visit him and when your there get to know the girl he is talking to or just go and check her out just by looking at her you might tell if she is bad or good news.

Answer 3

Just trust him for now. You really can't do anything about it now, so while he's there just get on with your life and don't make yourself feel down by getting jealous. Truth is, if he is cheating on you then it will come out in the end you don't need to go searching for it and then end your relationship for no reason.

Answer 4

My advice isn't what you want to hear. It is to tell him that both of you should date others. If you happen to date in the future, great. If not, that is life. You should be having fun with high school friends, dating, and going places....not staying home waiting for a college guy that is dating lots of girls at college. He's dating. You know it. Cut him loose and be nice. No crying because he will be so impressed he may want to see you every time he comes homes.

Answer 5

see, you can't say stuff like "he already met this girl" in the first sentence, then follow it up with "I don't mind him having female friends" and make it sound believable.  You need to date someone who is available, which means moving on from your bf

Answer 6

As the good old Romans used to say... aut amat aut odit mulier, nihil est tertium. (A woman either loves or hates, there is no third possibility).

That goes for you also.  

Just start looking for somebody else.  

Good Luck

Answer 7

My advice to you is that you end this relationship and not start another, until you can resolve your trust issues. You are sabotaging any chance for a real relationship because of your issues.

Answer 8

Your just going to have to trust him, nothing else you can do, is there.  He has gone to college to secure himself and his future, meaning any family he intends to have, with a good job and better chances at "the good life".

     If he cheats or meets another, then it is best it happen now, before anything gets more serious. His being at a distance, is a test of love and was meant to be, should your future's be meant to intertwine they will.

     Trust in your instincts... if he were to meet someone else, you would see/feel the change in him.

      While he's gone, why not work on those jealousy issues, get some help and face what brought you to that point.