Boys raised by single /divorced mothers(No father figure)what would you guess the negative consequences to be?

Question

I've got a list of them ,but am curious to see what others think.

Answer 1

They are often more feminine. Moms are awesome but how can we teach boys how to be men? We aren't men! We can't understand what they go through as teens. Boys need fathers.

And I shudder at the thought of the uber-feminist single moms. Their sons will grow up hating themselves and believing that they are barely-controlled rapists and abusers.

Answer 2

Abe Lincoln always said that a negative consequence of being raised by just a mother was that she held him to higher more challenging standards than any man in his family did and she made him study harder and such than was expected of other ordinary boys with fathers he knew.  Historically and to this day, the most negative consequence of single-parenting is the poverty that haunts more women that it does men.  Thanks to feminism, that is changing and gradually women are rising out of dependency and lack of self-sufficiency and as they rise, so shall the quality of life they can afford for their children.

Answer 3

I have no father figure,with 2 lil sisters... im 14 and 3 years ago my dad just stoped picking me up on the weekends....... i also had 3 sisters that lived with him. that hurt... but only because i remember him....my sisters don't and it does not even phase them that our dad is gone.......and i think its easir for my mom 2 have us with out our dad...well if its not, she don't show it...and any ways i don't think that helped you...me, just telling you my life story......but my life is fine and i am a happy kiddd...even with out a dad figure:)

-Shelby

Answer 4

a woman can't teach a man how to be a man...she can advise him on what she might think a man is, but she'll never be able to factualize.    and vice a versa.  

the kid could turn into a mommas boy and be considered soft.  that might be the biggest problem is what other boys are learning from their fathers he wont have a father to answer those same questions.  he will seek that out by other means through another man figure.  but that resource needs to be available to him.  (grandfather/uncle)

but if your a single mother don't worry too much.   encourage socialization with others that way he can learn from other boys. i think a boy raised by a single mother would be easier than a girl by a single father.

Answer 5

Well i was/am being raised by a single mom....and yes its doable and i am not like this totally messed up kid or anything but it does suck not having somebody to do things like play sports or work on cars......i love cars and all my friends dads are helping them tune up their cars into whatever the goal is but im on my own and it gets depressing at times......plus alot of boys dont listen and have the same respect for their my as they would a dad......just stuff to think about.....hope this helps

Answer 6

A bad male figure (biologically related or otherwise) can have a worse influence on boys than none in the immediate household.  So, it's not just the presence of a male, but also what kind of a male presence it is!

Then it would depend on the mother, I'd say.  Her economical status (does she work, does she have a profession?), her self-confidence (is she dragging into the house some looser every other week, or does she stand on her own feet and has her family as the priority?).

I'd imagine that she could have a negative influence on the child (no matter boy or girl) if she projects her need for intimacy/partnership onto the children.

My experience with two neighboorhood boys was (whose father had committed suicide) that they were crawing for male attention (from my husband) untill early puberty, after that they distanced...

Answer 7

A peaceful world: we need to shake these boys out of their patriarchal heritage.

I tell my boys "No! They're all gonna laugh at you. They're all gonna laugh at you. NO!"

Answer 8

Crime, drugs, jail, and death - like father, like son.

Love Jack

Answer 9

I hear all these complaints about boys being raised by single mothers and how they are more likely to grow up having problems but I never hear about possible solutions. What else should happen to these boys if their mothers are raising because the fathers don't want to be a part of their lives? Like it or not, a lot of men don't want to be part of their children's lives. I have a relative (actually an in-law) with several children. There are at least four fathers. Two of them disowned their children at birth and have never been a part of their lives. Another was virtually raised by the man's parents. Should she have put them in orphanages instead?

Answer 10

well, i'm the youngest of five (two brothers) and i'd say that the main thing that comes to mind is anger.

one of my brothers is now a father of two and he's a really great with his boys but sometimes it seems like he just doesn't know what to do.

my siblings father (i have a different father) was very neglectful.

Answer 11

here are just a few off the top of my head:

- less parental supervision (kid is more likely to find a way to get into trouble)

- higher chance of parental neglect or abuse (double the stress on one parent)

- no male role-model, kid does not become socialized to masculine roles

- kid is missing half of his family tree, kid won't know about himself or his family history

- mom will probably have relationships with other men that the boy will probably have conflict with

- abandonment issues

- kid will not have a male figure to turn to about guy problems

Answer 12

Poverty, poverty and more poverty.  Social problems stemming from POVERTY.  In Denmark 60% of children are born "out of wedlock" and they don't share the same  outcomes.  Why is that, pray tell?

Danish men are far more involved in the day to day household activities of their families than their American counterparts.  They also do far more housework :)

Answer 13

I think aggressive behavior. Fathers tend to get more respect, especially from sons .

Perhaps, sexual promiscuity.

Can you give us the list? I am curious about this myself.

Answer 14

As long as they have alternative role models in the form of sports coaches or teachers they should do fine. Children who have to contend with two parents fighting or an aggressive father usually suffer more long term effects. Poverty does predispose children to a range of problems including higher risk of poorer health, lower education, higher risk of coming into contact with the law and such

I am a single Mum and have raised two boys. Both have been house captain at their school. I am very pround of them but I chose to expose them to a lot of sport where there was alot of male coaches and to keep them busy in their life, This is not an easy job for your Mums guys, but you all have the power to create change no matter what age and don't do it to your kids, choose to be apart of their life.

Answer 15

I was raised on a sedentary life style. No sports.

I was overprotected thus learn to be more inside my house instead of outside. Also grew up to be timid.

I did not learn how to fight.

I am a mess when it comes to finding a woman for mating.

I took me a lot of time to get over this things. Have I had a father being an adult male would have been a lot easier.

Answer 16

well my brothers are good guys, raised alone by my mom when my dad left for her best friend.  My brothers have refused to turn out like him. They value their wives and children. They aren't drunks or cheaters.. just good guys. The only thing I might see as negative, is that their wives rule the roost, if you know what i mean. Just because you are raised without your dad doesnt mean you have to accept any negativity in  your life.. Get up , dust your feet off, and prove to yourself and to your children that you will be a positive and successful person.

Answer 17

This question has brought out all the standard answers:

1.  That there is some sort of innate patriarchy that needs to be taken out of boys at a young age.

2.  That a matriarchal society would be peaceful:  that is TOTAL bollocks!

3.  That fathers are optional, or can be worked around, but mothers are utterly indispensable.

4.  That boys can be raised by a mother, but no mere man knows how to raise a girl.  More bollocks.

Boys are already being raised in a society that devalues fathers, and then plunges boys into a bastion of feminism (any western school system) where they are told that they are problems to be solved, intransigent, poor performers and yet still sexist pigs to be socially feminised.

Fathers are told that they are the second class parent, the male worker, all responsibility/no authority.  Is it any wonder that boys have the issues in modern society.  A girl is told that she can be anything.  A boy is taught to be realistic and never to triumph too greatly because it may make girls look bad somehow: the success of many male sports clubs depends on the club attracting enough girls, not on whether the boys succeed; and universities will make it harder for boys to enter, let alone be treated equally once they are there.

Father figures add balance to boys and girls.  Boys need a good male role model, but our society marginalises men and fathers, makes sweeping generalisations and conclusions that fathers are optional, and then bemoans the absence of fathers.  Fathers are to be fathers according to how women want them to be fathers, yet no man can question the sanctity of motherhood: it is already accorded the highest of esteem.

Is it any wonder that men opt out so much these days, and women often claim that they were not necessary.

My answer is non-PC, but I listen to may fathers and mothers, boys and girls in my job as a teacher, and I have long concluded that fathers are undervalued and that mothers can raise good boys, but that does not mean that something is not lacking.

EDIT

Hmmmmm........six thumbs down.  I still stand by my answer.  Any society that marginalises something (men/fathers in this case) should also need to face up to the fact that this will cause problems.

Answer 18

No one who isn't in serious denial would claim that single parenthood is usually just fine. It's going to happen though, and we probably shouldn't shun, and definitely shouldn't celebrate single parenthood.