Question:

Brand new rhyme straight from my mind?

by  |  earlier

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not done yet but i just wrote this and i'm looking for some feed back what parts did you like what parts you didn't over all ect.

Stand up like a man stick ya chest out

Sellin you soul over a bag of clout

Man open up a book get educated

You say your down but are you dedicated

What do you know about spiritual growth

You talk about the hood but do you know the oath

Stickin needles in your arm Blood poolin in your palm

You had the shakes but now your clam

Dopes been there for you more than your mom

Man don’t get scared just lesion to my words

Why yall following blind like sheep in herds

You think I’m gonna follow they law h**l naw

I don’t say nothing like I ain’t got no jaw

Where were they when b lost his life

Man I know the punk police is trife

They got enough cops to bust down my door

But they never found what they was lookin for

As I’m sittin hand cuffed on the couch

Cop comes to me tells me to open my mouth

My little sisters cryin and I feel like dying

They tore the house apart and they still tryin

They said we know you got dope I said you know you lying

They said we done seen 30 people out here buying

Take me out side to conduct their investigation

They said son were going to give your blood an examination

They didn’t find **** on me but got my mom for 2 grams of pot

They said we’ll be back we know you making the block hot

My mom died before they could serve her her time

She said she’ll die before she goes back she wasn’t lyin

Man some times I just don’t see the point in tryin

d**n i know there’s no point in cryin

You just adapt and over come

Doing twenty five to life in the slum

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5 ANSWERS


  1. the beat better be good


  2. thats tight man, but its hard to judge rhymes without a beat to go with it....but it's a great start

  3. "You say your down but are you dedicated"

    Love That Line

    Your real good

    9.5/10

    I bet this would be hot with a cool beat

    =D

    Keep doin it


  4. http://www.freewebs.com/kunaljanu/CSS/60...

    loves it

  5. Yo Thats F*cking GREAT.

    AMAZING!!!!!!

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