Breaking News: Diego Maradona appointed Pakistan Cricket Coach
In a stunning turn of events, Pakistan Cricket Board has announced the appointment of Argentine football legend Diego Maradona as the national cricket team coach. According to media reports emerging from Pakistan, Maradona was with the national team ever
since the team returned to Lahore from their tour of England.
His revelations to the press got delayed as Maradona had to be taken to hospital after the coach fractured his skull. Maradona was reportedly trying to juggle a Kookaburra ball on his head and the ball duly got the Argentine injured. Maradona is reportedly
trying to figure out a way to score 7 runs with a single ball. “If I can dribble past seven players to score a goal, certainly we can score 7 runs with a single ball. Nothing is impossible. I am trying my level best to get Byron Moreno out of jail. The referee
will become a cricket umpire and will help prove me right.”
During his time with La Albiceleste, Maradona would divide his squad into two teams and play a friendly. The losing team would then be lined up and subjected to power shoots on their back sides by the winning side. Maradona supposedly tried the same tactic
with the cricketing team. Mohammed Yousuf, after resisting the move finally went ahead, but was duly injured by a Shahid Afridi shooter. Yousuf is under intensive care at Lahore’s Jinnah Hospital. PCB Chairman Ijaz Butt was supposed to meet the Argentinean.
However, after the incident, the PCB chairman went in the room wearing a helmet. The pictures of Butt wearing a suit and a helmet can be seen on the internet.
Maradona has decided to drop Shahid Afridi, Umar Gul and Abdul Razzaq from the one day squad and has recalled Azhar Mehmood, Salim Malik and Arshad Khan to the national team. “I had some decisions to take and I took them. Salim Malik is an experienced striker
and he will score for the team. A person of his experience in betting, he will be a lethal asset,” Maradona said. Salim Malik when contacted about the incident bemused, “Who is Diego Maradona?”
In a t*t-for-tat move, it is also reported that Brazilian football legend, Pele, has been appointed as the national coach of India. BCCI in a recent press release showed their delight with the capture of the legend, “BCCI would like to officially announce
the appointment of Pele as the national cricket coach. A person of Pele’s calibre will bring dramatic media coverage to the sport in India. The BCCI will be able to pocket huge amounts in advertising revenues. We are looking forward to working with Pele and
wish him best of luck with his new adventure.”
It is wildly believed that Pele took the job to counter Maradona’s appointment as the Pakistan Cricket coach. The two are now expected to battle for the title of “Best Cricket Coach in the history of the game”. The BCCI has arranged a two week training session
for the coach following revelations that Pele thought one has to score goals in cricket too. The training sessions will now enlighten the coach about the rules of the cricket in detail.
Diego Maradona was unavailable for comments following Pele’s appointment as it has been revealed that the coach borrowed a cigar from Mohammed Asif and has been laughing uncontrollably ever since.
(Please note that this is a satirical article and is completely based on fiction)
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