Breastfeeding... How do I keep from giving up?

Question

My baby is 6.5 wks old now and has been an eager nurser since he was born. While I'm really glad for that, I keep finding myself feeling defeated. First I had problems getting him to latch properly, then I got mastitis, then he quit latching properly again and we discovered I have overactive letdown. It's taken 4 trips to lactation consultants to get my overactive letdown under control and get him latching back on properly.

Now I've discovered how to get him to latch on properly, but I can't seem to keep my nipples from being sore. I've given them time to heal by just pumping and bottle feeding for a few days and as soon as I started putting him back at the breast they started hurting again even with a proper latch. I've tried using those nipple shells for sore nipples but they don't help. I've even used the gel pads that stick to the nipples and they don't help. I also experiance about 2hrs of HORRIBLE, throbbing pain in my b*****s after each feeding. It seems like as soon as the pain goes away it is time to feed him again. My doc put me on a one dose treatment of diflucan because it looked like my sore nipples could have been thrush, but so far it doesn't help at all. He checked me for mastitis as well, but I don'y appear to have it. Also no clogged ducts.

They say BF isn't supposed to hurt if it's done properly, so why does it still hurt? I've done everything I know to do.I love nursing my son, and I can tell he prefers the breast, but I don;t know how long I can endure the pain. One of the LCs that I saw told me flat out she didn't know what to tell me, and I'd probably just have tough it out. (I switched LCs at that point.) I just don't know what to do anymore. How do I keep from giving up?

Answer 1

contact la leche league. or even the hospital lactation consultant from the hospital.

I think you are really just close to over the hump here.

My son was a great laatcher but he would adjust if he got on wrong and for some ungoddly reason I wouldnt stop him and then he got thrush and i also had crazy let down, I would almost choke him.  My nipples were cracked, sore, bleeding, raw. and I had thrush aswell.

Try lanolin lotion and the breastpads with lanolin. within 3 days my breast were much better.  Also the doctor prescribed Nystatin for the baby and me. the nystatin cleared the thrush but my b*****s were still sore,bleeding &  cracked.  the lanolin breast pads really helped.

I also went online and found that i was not detaching properlly.

i hope this helps

Answer 2

Oh you're a fighter!

I used lansinoh nipple cream for the 1st week and then i expressed a bit of breastmilk & let it on my nipples to air dry. I never had cracked or sore nipples, they were just very sensitive for the 1st week or 2. Your problem does sound like sore or cracked nipples.

I really hope this helps & if you've come out winner through so much it would be kind of silly to give up now, wouldn't it? I am sure you'll make it.. I admire your strength & courage, not every woman would go through so much.

Kudos to you! Keep up the good work. I always say it takes a strong, dedicated & loving woman to breastfeed & you made my point..

COngrats on the baby, GOd Bless

Oh, once i got an open cut on my nipple (Extremely painful) when my son was around 4months, i looked for the nipple ointment, used it after each feeding & in 2 days it was gone.

~I just remembered, when my son was just born i dreaded every feeding because, even though he latched properly from the start, it was painful, the 1st 2-3minutes of every feeding were VERY painful, i had to bite a pillow or something. The 1st wks it's always hard, BUT it gets better, i promise.

Answer 3

Wow you are tough to have made it this far.  Once I got mastitis I totally gave up.  I could not take it anymore.  I give you a lot of props for keeping it up this long.  To be honest with you I found it very difficult to enjoy my baby b/c I was sooo miserable.  I know that breastfeeding is important, but my health and well being was just as important.  I could not give my baby the best of myself b/c I was so mentally and physically exhausted.  Do not beat yourself up if you decide that you want to quit.  A lot of people gave me a hard time about it and were not very understanding.  But, it is YOUR decision and only you can make the best decision for you and your baby.  I found that immediatly after quitting I wasn't as tired anymore, I felt better, my feelings towards the baby changed (I was feeling a lot of resentment b/c I was so miserable).  I hope that things get better for you.  It is much easier to stay on track if you have the support of people around you.  You sound like a very strong individual and your baby is lucky to have you.

Answer 4

And you are sure you are latching on properly?  If you are and it still hurts then maybe it will just take time for your nipples to adjust but that sure does sound like somthing else is going on  Bless your heart!  That is what I call a good mommy.  I would say  you are giving it your all out best and if the problems continue then I would nto feel bad about stopping if you have to.  You have already given him more than a lot of moms are able to.  I breastfed my son for 5 months and that was all I could take b/c I work full time and I got tired to death of pumping.  I say do your best and don't feel bad for one minute if you decide to stop.  You're a great mom!

Answer 5

I'm so sorry you've had so much trouble.  Me and my son were able to get the hang of nursing when he was about two weeks but I know I went through the same feelings and many of the same painful problems those two weeks we were trying to get the hang of it.  If I were in your position, I would try alternating nursing and bottle feeding, literally.  One feeding nurse, the next feeding bottle feed him and you pump, then the next feeding nurse him and the feeding after that bottle feed him and you pump.  Maybe going a couple of days is too long and they get sensitive?  I'm honestly just guessing here, but it may help you.  Another thing I would try is using some of the breast cream you can get (I bought a stick form johnson and johnson brand) it is safe for baby so you don't have to worry about it being on the nipple when he nurses or you pump, and it can help to soothe the nipple.  As far as that throbbing feeling you're getting.....I just barely stopped having it (although I wouldn't call it horrible but it did cause me discomfort) and my LC said that it was from the breast filling back up with milk.  It SHOULD go away eventually according to her, and it has seemed to for me.  

Lastly, stay strong!!!!  Its hard to do, I know, but the accomplishment will be weel worth it once you and baby get the hang of it (and you will get the hang of it!).  Stay in contact with your new LC, as they should be able to offer you some help.

Good luck!!

Answer 6

Well, I think your nipples hurt now because you son is finally latching properly- it should get better within the next few days. As far as BF isn't supposed to hurt if it's done properly-that's a myth. It can hurt until you two get used to it. I only nursed my son for 2 weeks. I was in so much pain I refused to see, touch, or hold my son. I started crying anytime my husband told me it was time for the baby to eat. However, I didn't switch to formula just because of the pain- I switched because I wanted to look at my son and love him, not look at him and pray he didn't see me and get hungry. We were much happier when we switched -all of us. However, the first time my son got sick-around 4 months and in the dead of winter, I blamed myself. Anytime after that, whenever I saw a mother nursing, or heard people talk about it, I felt horrible. Even though I know it was the right choice (my son is almost one, in the high percentiles, a wonderful eater, intelligent, happy, and without digestive issues, and we bonded beautifully), I never got away from the feeling of guilt, asking myself why didn't I just give it one more week? I know its a horrible reason to give you to continue breastfeeding, but I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone... Just try to remember that your body is made to do this, just put your mind to it. Even if you can't go to the local LLL, just call for support and assistance -they help with your kind of situation all the time. If you feel like giving up and you just want someone to talk to and encourage you-they'll be there... Exhaust all your resources before you decide to give up, and even then, maybe all it'll need is a little more time... Good luck, hang in there!

Answer 7

Poor you, I would contact you local breastfeeding support group!

It sounds like you are doing your best!

Good luck!

Answer 8

First off, you need a lot, tons of support be it from you partner and your family, and even friends. So if you have that you've got a good start. Reading this just makes me want to burst into tears for you. In the beginning when I was first breastfeeding my daughter, I would scream and cry, I thought I couldn't handle it. I managed to get thru it, keeping in mind, that it has always been with me that I wanted to breastfeed my child. Now, I am so glad I didn't give up, I feel like I have a connection with her that I wouldn't have had, had I decided to bottle feed her instead. I don't think that bottle feeding a baby means a parent can't connect with there child, it just wasn't for me. Remember that deciding to stop breastfeeding will also hurt, all though that is only until you dry up. I would love to talk to you more, maybe I can give you some tips on things you can try before deciding to stop. It is never a bad idea to try everything possible first, especially if you really do want to breastfeed. You can email me or IM me, whichever works for you. [e-mail] Just please don't give up, It is really worth the pain, even if it doesn't seem like it at the moment. =)

Edit: I am not really sure why anyone would want to give a thumbsdown to the answers posted for this question. Everyone on here has offered advise and support, I can't seem to see how that is a bad thing...

Edit: I was just on youtube, they tons and tons of videos on breastfeeding, I ran into some by accident and started watching them. You need to sign up to watch some of them so that they know you are over 18, but I even learned a few things. I thought of you when I saw this, and how it might be a great tool for you, cause it is real women showing you how they do it. Good luck. I also emailed you this, because I wasn't sure if yahoo tells you when someone updates an answer. Still learning about yahoo answers. =)

Answer 9

Most lactation consultants dont recommend this but I found a nipple shield to do wonders. I have overactive letdown and my son will only latch on properly when he wants to. Usually he just likes to suck on the nipple which really hurts. I do my best to get him to latch on but when he is fussy or when my nippes are sore the shield is great relief. Talk to your consultant maybe that is an option for you. Good luck!!

Answer 10

Wow!  I can't believe you kept with it this long.  Your tough as nails. :)  

They says if done right it doesn't hurt...(roll eyes)...whatever!  Its going to some...but it shouldn't hurt THAT bad.

I had a few friends who didn't stick with it very long, and I think most of it has to do with how much you WANT to do it.  

The only sugestion i have, that might help, if you did both, bf and bottle (like fomula).  And then your nipples might have more time to heel and repair them selfs.  But after the 2nd month it gets WAY easier and your nipples wont hurt as bad.  

My hospital had a class with other moms who discussed their breastfeeding issues and gave ideas.  It was really neat and helpped me out a while.  

Good luck!!  I hope everything gets better.  I know it really sucks to want something good for your baby, but when it hurts you, its hard to know what the right thing it too do.  

Answer 11

If it is thrush you will need more than just medicine for yourself, baby needs it too or else he will keep giving it back to you.  I know how hard it can be, I've been there and had a lot of the issues that you have had.  Do you have family that helps support what you are trying to do for your child?  How about attending a LLL meeting - many of the moms have gone through the same things.  

I hope you do get to continue to nurse, I promise it does get better!!  Talk to your ped about getting meds for baby and a cream for your b*****s, I don't know if diflucan will take care of it...

Answer 12

I'm afraid I have no advise to give you, but I just want to wish you lots of stregth and good luck. If you're this determined, you're bound to find a solution and keep going!

Answer 13

I'm with the first answerer...join a breast feeding support group, like le leche league. They usually meet one a week, are not expensive (a year membership in le leche league is $40) and you can get a lot of support from other mothers who are going through the same things! I am only 20 wks pregnant but I already joined, because I know that breast feeding is going to be difficult. Just be confident and realize that women have been breast feeding forever, and you CAN do this!  

Answer 14

You just need a little encouragement. Remember it gets easier when your milk supply evens out which is at about 10-12 weeks. Just hang in there a little longer and if your nipples are really sore use a nipple shield (not shells) every once in a while.

Youve gone this far, mama just a little longer and it will be easier - dont give up now!

Answer 15

Oh my ... sounds like you've had a rough time of it.  Congratulations for sticking with it through so many difficulties.  

Without being there in person (and without being a board certified LC I can't really say what the problem is now, or the best way to fix it.)  If I had to hazard a guess I would speculate that it might be:

1. Thrush.  Did baby get treatment too?  If you have thrush BOTH parties need to be treated, and it can take a while for the pain to go away. If baby isn't treated, he will just reinfect you.

2. Latch issues.  You say his latch is good, but you also say that you have been pumping and bottle feeding to give your nipples a break.  Esp. if baby is being solely bottle fed for several days in a row his 'good' latch can easily deteriorate and become a poor one. So you may have to get the LC back, get the latch corrected and then just get through the soreness until any cracks or sore spots heal.  Every time you go back to the bottle you start the process over.

So... I would go back to the doctor for treatment for baby (if you suspect thrush) or back to the LC for hands on help with baby's latch.  You should be able to get this ironed out, and then breastfeeding will be the pleasure that it's supposed to be.

(Latch ditch option -- you CAN pump and bottle feed indefinitely, if necessary.  It's more work, but will provide baby with breastmilk if you get to where you don't feel yourself able to continue.)

Answer 16

If you're absolutely determined to breastfeed, you can express your milk and feed your baby that way.  It will be grueling pumping, then feeding, but some women do this.

You can also look for a certified lactation consultant.  Check with the La Leche League.

Answer 17

Ask your OB for a prescription cream for your nipples.  It worked wonders for me.  Around here it is "homemade" by Medicap pharmacy and it has medical grade lanolin, an antifungal to keep from getting thrush in your nipples and an antibiotic ointment to keep them from getting infected and to help them heal faster.  My nipples looked like they had gone through the paper shredder before I used this and after 2 days it was so much better.  I hope this helps.  I hope you are able to continue to breast feed but if you can't then don't let anyone make you feel guilty!  Just do what you can and if it doesn't work out then just know you did your very best and you have already given your baby such a great gift!.  Good Luck.