Breastfeeding and don't want to give up. What would you do?

Question

My son is now a month old and still I haven't been able to get him to latch properly to my nipples. I have had help from the La Leche League but even they couldn't figure out the problem. I pump anywhere from 8 to 12 times a day and I keep trying but breastfeeding him from my breast just hasn't worked. Is there anyone out there that has just pumped everyday? I feel like I want to do whats best for him and I know that the breast milk is the best and I don't want him to have formula. My husband works and I stay home with caden and it seems like all I do is pump, feed him, diaper him, then its down for a nap. I want to be able to spend time with him other than just feeding him. I guess what I'm trying to say is should I just give up and use the formula? I really don't want to but I want to be able to bond with him other than just siting down and feeding him. Does anybody have a schedule that work'd for them?

By the way I have to pump so much because my son eats at least 5 ounces every 3 to 4 hours except for during the night he goes to bed between 9:30 and 10 and he wakes up between 3 and 4 and then gets up a little after 8 and has two good naps during the day.

Answer 1

If breastfeeding is very important to you, keep trying. In the meantime, if it's too draining to continue pumping so much, there is nothing wrong with using formula to supplement. No question, breastmilk is the best food for your infant, but he will get the nutrients he needs from formula. And by combining breastmilk & formula, you may be giving him the best gift in the world - a relaxed & happy mother! Call your pediatrician for reassurance. In the end it will work out fine. I breastfed both my children, but I did supplement with my second. She is now 22 months old & just as healthy, smart & secure as my soon to be 5 year old son. Hang in there!

Answer 2

Hi Jen.

When my little girl was born in January I had a nightmare time so far as breastfeeding goes.  Her mouth was absolutely tiny and she just couldn't latch on - when she got anywhere near close to latching on it was incredibly painful.  I tried and tried for the five days in the hospital but no luck - the other problem I eventually realised was that I didn't even have any milk (took almost 3 weeks!).  By day 5 I had seriously painful engorged b*****s (lactation consultant told me it was venous engorgement) and with the help of the midwives was trying to pump every couple of hours but nothing - so unfortunately I had to put my daughter on formula.  At the midwives' suggestion we put her on half quota - but after a couple of days the paediatrician told me I was starving her and to give her the full amount.  We hired a pump at home and I just kept at it every few hours.  I'm sure you can understand what an emotional thing it is to not be able to feed your child.  I had my heart set on breastfeeding and couldn't believe how it affected me when I couldn't - I was a complete emotional wreck.  My partner, Mum and friends were basically (nicely) saying to get over it and just accept that my daughter was going to be a bottle bub.  I had 4 lactation consultants come visit me and they had no joy getting her to latch on either - saying her mouth just wouldn't gape wide enough.  After 3 weeks I was kind of resolved to the fact that I couldn't breastfeed - which killed me as my milk was finally in and I was getting a decent amount when expressing.  Then my partner had to go away for a few days for work and I decided just to stay home and give it a solid go.  One thing that helped was a friend told me everyone in her mothers' group said it really does take anywhere from 6 to 10 weeks to get breastfeeding really well established.  So I decided to tough it out for 10 weeks before giving up.  What I did was put her to the breast before every feed.  I won't lie - I ended up with a seriously cracked and bleeding nipple on one side but I persevered as I was told once she learns to latch properly the damage wouldn't worsen.  After each attempt - I'd give her a top up with formula.  It took 3 weeks of doing this before she learnt to latch properly (she was 6 weeks old).  Then I had to wean her off the bottle altogether.  By 8 weeks I had her down to just one bottle of formula a day - which was the one before bedtime.  By 10 weeks she wouldn't touch the stuff - and amazingly, now I think breastfeeding is the easiest thing in the world. I can get her up in the middle of the night in the pitch black, sit up in bed and she latches on incredibly easily - I don't need to see what I'm doing as she does all the work - and it really does feel amazing (and no discomfort whatsoever!).  And I have to say she's so much better on breast milk than formula - no constipation, she sleeps better and she's so much easier to settle.   I had to give her both sides at every feed at first which sometimes took over 40 minutes - and had to feed her every couple of hours.  But after a while she was filling up from one side and took less than ten minutes to feed - every 3 hours. They get way more efficient as they get more practice.  Remember they have to learn what to do too.  

My advice is - persevere no matter what.  I know it can be really trying and sometimes upsetting - I was getting up every two hours overnight to express to build my milk supply up initially - was completely exhausted.   But breastfeeding your baby is the most wonderful amazing feeling - I still get a kick out of it and my daughter is now almost 7 months old.  I intend on feeding her til she's at least 1.  We have quite a lot of weekends away and it just makes things so much easier not having to lug formula and bottles and sterilisers around.  

So stick with it.  Give yourself a target of 8 or 10 weeks before you make the decision to switch to formula.  I'm sure by then with a heap of persistance you'll both get there - and bub will love it... and so will you!  

The other advice I'd give is to get in touch with the Australian Breastfeeding Association - they offer fantastic counselling services and are amazingly supportive.

Good luck... I have no doubt if you've stuck it out this long you can get there - it'll be so great when you do!

kt

Answer 3

My baby is one month old and I am exclusively pumping (I had a c-section, my milk came in late, too hard to hard my large baby (born 10 lbs./10 oz.).  I bought a Medela Pump in Style.  I currently am pumping 7 times a day and pump about 30 to 35 ounces of milk - plenty for what my little man needs right now.  You can do it!  It's a lot of work, but it's soooo worth it.  

Answer 4

I just wanted to add that regardless if you're feeding him formula, pumped breastmilk, or breastfeeding - you're going to feel like your feeding him all the time!  Those times your pumping - is when he'd be eating, too.  He's only a month old and yours sounds like a typical schedule - change, feed, sleep, change, feed, sleep, and so on...I'm still on this schedule and my son is 12 weeks!  

Lots of women do just pump, especially if breastfeeding is painful or if the baby is a preemie.

I would try seeing a lactation consultant, to check the baby's latch and your positioning, either call your OB-GYN or pediatrician for a recommendation or the hospital where you delivered.  Good Luck!  You're doing great!

Answer 5

Wow, kudos to you for the perseverance! You are one dedicated mother.

He sounds like a perfectly normal, healthy, hungry baby!

At this age, your routine (pump, feed, change, sleep) is no different to that of any newborn. Until he's six weeks or so there isn't really much opportunity to spend time with a baby that doesn't involve feeding or changing. I does get better though and your life will get more interesting. Soon he will spend more time awake and you'll have more opportunity to play and interact.

You can make bottle feeding a good bonding exercise by holding your baby while you feed him (skin to skin is even better, so shirts off) also by making eye contact and talking to him.

If La Leche were of no help, a private lactation consultant may be of assistance. Some hospitals also offer lactation consulting services. Keep trying, he is as new to this as you are and is doing his best to learn.  It usually takes 6 weeks for breastfeeding to establish so he may yet pick it up.

Some mothers bottle feed their babies breastmilk for months and months if they have to go back to work or the like. You are not alone. It can be done.

Have you taken him to a doctor to rule out any medical causes? Was he born vaginally or by cesaerean? Are you relaxed when you try to breastfeed? All these things can effect a baby's ability to attach.

Have you tried having a "bed in"? ie: spend all day in bed with your baby, just relaxing. Keep your shirt and bra off and offer the breast whenever you feel like it. Try it on a weekend when your husband can play butler. See the article on breast refusal below - it really helped me when I was having trouble breastfeeding my son.

Having said all that, if you need to stop breastfeeding then do what is right for you. You have given your baby a great start.  Look after your baby's mother, he only has one.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Wow, so sorry you are going through this. Is he able to eat from the bottle with your breast milk? If so, then he is probably fine by that, even though pumping can be exhausting.

I wouldn't give up. Sometimes it can be very challenging to get a latch, but I have discovered, through my own experience nursing my 4 children, that a good chiropractic adjustment for the MOM and some cranial-sacral work on the baby works wonders. This can elevate tension, especially in the baby's jawline.

What you can do at home, is gently massage his jaw and cheekbone area, where the jaw muscle is located. This can release a bit of tension in his mouth and allow him to open up more.

As far as his activities at 1 month old, what he is doing is pretty much normal for a newborn. It isn't until 3-4 months that they stay up a bit longer, make meaningful eye contact, etc.

It does get better with persistence and patience. You sound like you are determined to continue. Good for you.

Here is a link to another place, a bit different than LLL.

All my best!

Answer 7

I nursed both of my boys for a year each- don't give up.....I have some suggestions. I know there are a lot of different holds/ techniques. Some work good for some babies and some work good with others. The one that worked best for me was side lying because my b*****s were so big- it made it easier to pinch the areola and get enough in their mouth to latch on. If I would lay on my left for example, I would have the baby on his side facing me, I would pinch the areola with my right hand and use my left hand to push the baby's head towards me- then if you need to gently push the baby's chin down a little to get their bottom lip out the way.The more we practiced - the better they got. Soon, you will see that it will get to the point that you don't even have to get them to latch on - they will just go for it all on their own.  I remember thinking I just wanted to pump all the time and not nurse- I know when you can't get them latched on properly  how bad it hurts!

And you are right- all you do at first is nurse- there isn't much time for much else- but by the time they are 6 mos. they already can begin to eat baby food- and they become more indepent and can interact with you in much more ways than just nursing.

If you have to just pump- I suggest pumping when they are sleeping or down for the night so you can store it up in the freezer - eventually you will have a surplus. But just try to hang in there- I believe you can do it! Good Luck! What ever the outcome - even if it ends up being formula- you are being a great mom and you baby will be beautiful and healthy :) it will all work out :)

Answer 8

I had a prob. were i couldn't breastfeed for a month but still wanted to due to infection EVERY pain nipples. What seems to work for me and also helped get more milk out was when i fed him with the bottle hold him on my lap with one leg up then pump with my other hand as he's feeding that helped befcause i was looking into his eyes and all that closeness you have well they feed. Just make sure every time he feeds you pump atleast after to help with supplie! It's alot of work but i feel it was worth it because I'd rath do that then spend a BUNCH on formula and then you have the time it takes to make it make sure it's not to hot all that "fun" stuff

Answer 9

I had trouble with mine latching on as well.  Then my milk came in late.  I have tried to get her to latch on again and have not been successful.  I feed her pumped breast milk and supplement with formula that way she gets full and doesn't miss out on the benefits of breast feeding. It is hard to find the time to pump 8-12 times per day with a newborn.  Good luck in whatever you decide.