Bridal Shower gift? can't attend...?

Question

I have 2 showers that I was invited to this summer and I was unable to attend either because I was living on the other side of the country for an internship...

A few of my friends (all mid-20's) told me it wasn't necessary to send a gift/check. My mom gaped in horror when I told her I didn't send anything. I'm planning on attending both weddings and was going to give extra at the weddings. Not sure if this was a generational difference or if I made a faux pas....

Thoughts? Thanks!

Answer 1

Send a card saying sorry that you couldn't make it to your bridal shower, I hope you enjoyed the day and your looking forward to seeing her on her big day. I would also throw in a gift cert. to the movies or victoria secrets.

Answer 2

I feel the same way as you - I don't send gifts to bridal showers if I'm not attending, but I do send gifts to weddings that I was invited to, whether I attend or not.

To me, the shower is more of a "nice to have, but not obligatory." If you're not going, I don't think you should feel responsible for a gift, especially since you're already getting one for the wedding.

Answer 3

I'm sure your friends will forgive you. I think in the future it would be better to send a little something for the shower along with a card, just to let them know you are thinking of them.

Answer 4

If you weren't able to attend the showers then you don't have to give them a gift. You're being generous by offering to give more at the weddings because you don't even have to do that! I think this might just be a generational difference.

Answer 5

I think it depends on how close you are to the people.  If you are very close friends, send something (flowers, card, gift) or explain in a note that, while you were unable to attend, you are looking forward to the wedding.  If the bridal shower organizer is gathering recipes or something, you could participate in that activity.  If you are not as close and there are no activities like recipe collection, I say you are free and clear.

Answer 6

If you missed their wedding I would have given a gift. Missing a shower is ok to do without giving a gift. It does not seem necessary to give for a shower since it is not the main event. People should not be mad about it. It seems like people only get married for gifts!

Answer 7

My friends and I were JUST talking about this yesterday.

My school of thought is that if you were invited, you should have sent a gift or something!  I normally send flowers to the shower and give a little extra at the wedding.

One of my friends doesn't send a gift ever and the other sends gifts to both.

Personal decision, but I probably would have sent a little something off the registry (like all the spoons or cookie pans).