Bridal party paying for own attire?

Question

Our bridal party is paying for their own dresses and suits. Does that mean we buy them a gift and they don't buy us one?

Is that how it usually goes?

When my fiance spoke to the groomsmen recently to make sure they were aware of the costs involved he explained that they don't buy us a gift we buy them one.

It seems fair but is that the way it is done?

Answer 1

This is a good question. I'm not actually sure if it means they don't buy you gifts. I guess your right though, it does make sense. I wouldn't expect girfts from anyone anyway so I don't think it matters too much. But yes, the bride and groom buy their wedding party gifts. What I have done for my girls is bought them their jewellery as a gift and they will wear it on the day too.  

Answer 2

Yeah, this is pretty common. You should get your bridesmaids gifts, they don't have to be big, cute necklace or earrings or something.  Your fiance should give his groomsmen something too. It's often a lot of coin for the people in the bridal party, so gifts from them to you guys are often not too expensive either.  

Answer 3

You buy them a gift but usually they buy you a wedding gift.  Don't tell them to not buy you a gift.

Answer 4

When someone agrees to be in your wedding party, their primary gift to you is their time, their love and their support. This is true regardless of how much their clothes cost -- clothes are a mere materialistic consideration. You give them mementos, along with your sincere thanks, because you appreciate their non-materialistic generosity.

They buy you gifts if they choose to do so. You, of course, wouldn't expect a gift, and you wouldn't dream of telling them what to do with their own money -- whether to "buy a gift" or "not to get us gifts". It's entirely their choice.

Answer 5

Unless you tell them otherwise, I always thought it was customary that they pay for their attire, they buy you a gift, and you buy them "thank you" gifts.

Answer 6

I'm not sure about what is fair or normal, but I tell you my experiences.

I've been a bridesmaid a couple times.  Each time I paid for my own dress, shoes, etc.  The brides did each get me a gift, but I got them a wedding present as well.  It may not have been required, but it didn't feel right to ME to not get one.

When I got married I paid for my bridesmaids dresses, shoes and hair.  I was lucky enough to be able to do that, but not everyone can.  I did go ahead and get them each a small gift as well.  The dresses were for the ceremony, the gift was a thank you for being involved in my day.

I think it's okay to let your bridal party know that it's not necessary to purchase a gift, but I wouldn't be so strenuous in your suggestion that they're uncomfortable if they want to do so anyway.

Answer 7

The girls do buy their own dresses and shoes, but most of the time the men just rent a suit or tux.  They can get the tie and cummerbund to match the bridesmaids dresses, so you do need to coordinate that part.  And yes, do give them a nice, small gift.  I was the wife of the best man, and the bride even gave me a nice pearl necklace just for being the wife of the best man.  And I sat at the table with the other spouses of the ones in the bridal party.  The groom gives his best man and ushers a small gift too, usually nice cuff links or tie tacks.  If the bridal party wants to give you a separate gift, that is their choice.  And don't forget gifts for the flower girl and ring bearer and their parents for letting them be in your wedding too.  

Answer 8

It is a normal practice that the bride and groom purchase the members of their wedding party a small gift of appreciation. Average cost per bridal member to be outfitted is around $500.00 per person. That is a pretty big gift to the two of you, isn't it? The bridal party doesn't necessarily have to purchase the bride and groom a gift but the may because it is from the heart but just try to remember that they are giving you a gift by standing with you during your special moments.